


We'll Fall Together

by DeadlyMidnightshade



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Biting, Blow Jobs, Drug Use, Evan's a Slytherin, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hair-pulling, Hand Jobs, He gets better, Heidi is a good mom, I can't write slow burn for shit, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It's weed, Jared is a jerk, Jeremy and Michael come in later, Jeremy's dad's name is Joseph in this, Larry is still a dick, Light Angst, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Past Suicide Attempts, Praise Kink, Protective Connor, Protective Evan, Smut, Switching, This is going Step bros, Tree Bros, Zoe is a jerk, fight me, she gets better, smut in later chapters, this fandom has enough angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2018-12-04 16:56:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 61,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11559480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadlyMidnightshade/pseuds/DeadlyMidnightshade
Summary: If there was anything Evan expected out of this school year, it wasn't to befriend Connor Murphy. If there was another thing he didn't expect, it was for them to end up dating.





	1. Slam On The Gas

**Author's Note:**

> My multi chapter Dear Evan Hansen Story. I have no idea what I'm doing.

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_This year is going to be g-…This year will be…FUCK THIS YEAR!_

Evan groaned and let himself slump in his chair. His cast hung heavily on his arm. The weight of it finally dawning on his. He felt his eyes well up with tears. This day had sucked. Between Jared, his arm, and being pushed, Evan was done. He began to dry his eyes before trying to think of something to type out. Nothing came to mind though. He was alone in the library. Alone.

_Alone_

_Alone_

_Alone_

Evan began to sob and couldn’t calm down. His mind kept repeating the word over and over. Breathing became harder and his body became shaky. He was going to have a panic attack. Shit, not at school. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this.

“Are you okay?”

Evan whipped around and saw Connor Murphy. No, no, no, no, he did not need this right now. He tried to speak but it only came out as a choked noise.

Connor dropped his bag and went to the other teen’s side. “Hey, hey, hey. It’s alright, take a breath.” Evan gave him a baffled and hopeless look. Shit, the kid was probably tired of hearing people say that. He looked around confused and bewildered. “I came here to apologize and-” Connor frowned and tried to comfort the other. “Hey, I…,” he was not good at this. He had no idea what he was doing. Connor kept his hands on Evan’s shoulders then rubbed the shaky boy’s arms.  

Evan sucked in a breath. He hiccupped and wiped at his face. The gentle hands on his arms made him feel a bit better. He exhaled slowly and finally looked at Connor. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I’m sorry.” He probably looked pathetic. Hell, he was pathetic.

Connor was taken aback by that. “I’m the one that pushed you!” He sighed and tried to help the other dry his eyes. “I… I should be the one apologizing. This morning was bad, it was really fucking bad and I took it out on you. I just, I was a fucking dick. I’m sorry, Evan.”

Evan looked up at him in disbelief, “You know my name?” The blonde couldn’t stop the grin splitting his face. Both Murphys knew his name!

Connor chuckled, “You must be pretty lonely if someone remembering you makes you that happy.” He saw the pain in Evan’s eyes. Shit! Connor tried to look for something else to talk about. He noticed the computer screen behind Evan. “What’s that?” he asked.

Evan frowned. “It’s… it’s a thing for therapy. I have to write them and I hate doing it. It’ssostupidanddoesn’thelpatall!”

Connor jumped back. “Whoa, calm down motor mouth!” He saw how the other shrunk under his words. Connor cringed, _“You came here to apologize and be nice. Instead, you’re making him feel like shit. Good fucking going Murphy!”_

Evan didn’t know what to do. His head was going a mile a minute.

Connor noticed the boy’s broken arm. Good place to start. “Nobody’s signed your cast?” he asked. What the hell was wrong with people?

Evan finally came back to reality. “No, no, I ask Jared but… he said we weren’t real friends.”

Connor frowned, “What a fucking dick, and that’s coming for me.” He saw a small smile flash on Evan’s face. “You got a pen?” he asked, trying to put on a kinder expression.

Evan nodded and handed a sharpie over. He beamed as Connor wrote his name in big black letters. Evan felt giddy at the sight of a name on his cast. Someone signed it!

Connor saw how much joy such a simple act brought out. He capped the pen and handed it back. “There, now you can say you have a friend.”

“You’d be my friend?”

Connor hadn’t expected that, but he saw the hope in the shorter teen’s eyes. Connor couldn’t give him an outright ‘no’. “Yeah,” he began, “if you want to hang with the school shooter. I won’t stop you.”

Evan cradled his cast. A sweet grin on his face, “I’d like that.” He saw how shocked Connor was. “What’s wrong?”

“Why don’t you have friends?” the male Murphy asked.

Evan grimaced, “I have…anxiety, really bad anxiety. I take medicine for it but sometimes…” he trailed off into a series of mumbles.

Connor nodded. He didn’t really understand, at least in Evan’s case. Sure the kid was social awkward but he wasn’t like Connor, Evan wasn’t violent or cruel to others. Connor frowned, thinking about how he had pushed the other teen. He should have known Evan wasn’t one to be cruel, but maybe that’s why it’s called blind rage. The kid mostly stuck to the wall and kept his head down. Connor didn’t get people at all. Evan seemed pretty nice and sweet, he shouldn’t have had to stoop so low as to be Connor’s friend. He picked up his bag. He had comforted someone, apologized, and made a friend. That was enough excitement for one day.

“Where are you going?” Evan asked.

Connor was a bit surprised. He shrugged, “I’m skipping the rest of the day.” Connor saw how the other boy’s face fell. “You want to come?” he offered.

Evan thought for a moment. If he stayed, he’d be alone and have to deal with Jared. If he left, he’d miss class, but it was the first day. Evan nodded. “I’d like to go, please.”

“And here I thought you were a mister goody two shoes,” Connor teased. He looked Evan up and down before saying, “Well, grab your shit and we’ll head out.”

Evan threw on his bag and followed Connor out of the school. No one even tried to stop them. Connor’s car was grey and a bit beat up. The blonde smiled, it matched Connor perfectly.

“Hop on in,” said teen told him.

Evan got in and was surprised to see that the seatbelt was ripped and tattered. He looked over and saw that the driver’s seat didn’t even have a seatbelt. “Um, is this safe?” he asked in a timid voice.

Connor turned on the car. “As safe as hanging out with me,” he peeled out of the school and down the road.

Evan realized he may have made a terrible mistake. Connor was going 70 in a 45 zone. Evan kept his mouth shut and gave a small ‘thank you’ to whatever deity existed when Connor finally slowed down. The drive was silent, mostly because Evan was going back and forth in his head. He didn’t notice when they pulled into a gravel road and through an opened gate. The blonde finally became aware of his surroundings, “Isn’t this the abandoned orchard?”

Connor nodded and parked. “Come on,” he got out of the car and saw Evan do the same. He motioned for the other to follow him. They walked through the withered apple trees and hopped over gnarled roots before climbing up a hill. “There’s a really nice view up here,” he said as they hiked up. The trees became more spaced out as they got to the top. “Here it is!” he said and gestured to the rest of the orchard. “Pretty cool, right?”

Evan smiled brightly, “This place is beautiful!” He turned to Connor, “Thank you so much for taking me. This is way better than school!”

Connor chuckled at the excitement in the other teen’s voice. “Yeah, it’s no big deal. I come here a lot and just relax or smoke. It really chills me out. You should see it at night when the stars and moon are out. If you want to see the real beauty of the world, then you should come with me some night.” He sat in the grass and patted the space beside him.

Evan sat down as well. “I’d like to come with you. Maybe on a weekend?” he asked. Evan realized what he was doing. He was making plans with a friend. Evan had a friend! He hadn’t expected his day to go like this. Evan looked at the acres of trees and smiled. The afternoon sunlight felt good on his face. He saw how Connor was looking at him. “You okay?”

The pale teen nodded. “Yeah, it’s just…I’ve never had anyone to show this to.”

Evan frowned. “That’s a shame,” he said, “This place is wonderful.”

Connor chuckled, “Yea, it is.”


	2. Evangreen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fandom needs fluff and I am here to provide. Mentions of self harm, be warned.

Connor pulled up to Evan’s home. “You live here?” He was a bit surprised, the house wasn’t too far from his. It was small but very nice. It was a cream colored with little beds of flowers under the front windows. It looked like a stereotypical house from a sitcom.

“Y-yeah,” Evan stuttered. Was Connor judging his home? Was it too small? Did it look bad? Evan tried really hard to make it look nicer by adding flowers. Did it look stupid? Evan began to fidget with the hem of his shirt.

“My house is only ten minutes away,” Connor said in disbelief, “To think you’ve lived near me all this time and we’re just now meeting.”

Evan sighed in relief. He thought Connor was going to make fun of him for being poor like Jared did.

“It looks really nice, homely. I’m kind of jealous,” Connor said. His home wasn’t a sanctuary or a place that felt welcoming. It was big, and cold, and empty. There wasn’t any light or cheerfulness behind the closed doors, especially not for him.

Evan perked up from Connor’s comment. He felt confident, it was the first time he’d ever felt pride in his home. “Do you want to come in?” he offered.

Connor nodded, “Hell yeah!”

Evan giggled at the enthusiasm and let Connor park before getting out. The house was dark which meant his mom was out. It was only three and he didn’t know if she’d be stopping by before class. He wondered if the school had called about him skipping. The teen unlocked the door and held it open for Connor. “Well, this is my h-home,” the blonde stuttered out. He played with the hem of his shirt and stared at his feet.

Connor looked around the house. There wasn’t any fancy furniture that no one was supposed to sit on. No expensive or vintage paintings. There were no unnecessary rooms to fill with pretentious stuff. Connor liked it here. “This place is great,” he said and saw how Evan slowly looked up at him.

“R-really?” the boy blushed, “Thank you.” He closed the door and led Connor into the living room. “Well, um…I’ve never had a friend over so I don’t really know what to do here.”

“What about Kleinman?” Connor asked.

Evan frowned. “We’re family friends. He…he doesn’t like coming over. His parents make him invite me over sometimes but he can be,” Evan sat on the couch and tried to calm down. He was getting upset just thinking about Jared. “He’s such a…”

“Dick?” Connor offered.

Evan laughed, “Yeah, he’s a dick.” He laid back into the couch. “I don’t want to talk about him.”

Connor nodded. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t even have a family friend. Mostly people stay away from me. I guess it was for the best though, cause I got to meet you.”

Evan beamed. He had never felt so happy. Today was getting better and better. Evan wondered what they should do before he saw the stack of movies. “Do you want to watch something?” he asked and gestured to the pile of DVDs.

Connor nodded. “Sure, what do you got?”

Evan gave him a sheepish smile, “Disney and nature documentaries.”

Connor rolled his eyes, of course that’s what Evan watched. “You tree freak,” he had listened to Evan ramble on and on about the trees in the orchard and other trees. It was cute, if a bit weird. Connor moved to look through the stack of movies. He scoffed at some of them. “One of these days, I’m going to bring over some horror movies and serial killer documentaries. You could use a dip in the dark side.” Connor heard the laugh behind him. He was beginning to like that sound. He was used to people laughing _at_ him, not laughing at his jests or with him. Connor realized that he would be coming back here. He realized that they were actually going to be friends. Connor decided on Lilo  & Stitch and popped it in the DVD player.

Evan turned on the TV as Connor sat beside him.

An hour into the movie, Evan’s mom came home.

“Hey hun, I brought you a pizza-” she spotted Connor on the couch, “Oh, who’s this?”

Evan began to stutter but Connor butted in.

“Connor Murphy, ma’am,” he reached over to extend his hand. Connor could be civil and charming, despite popular belief.

Heidi smiled and gave the boy a light handshake. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Heidi, Evan’s mom.” She looked at her son, “I have to go to class and then I have a graveyard shift. I should be home around four o’clock,” Heidi looked at Connor, “and Connor can spend the night, if he wants.”

Evan smiled up at her. Heidi was shocked and then her heart melted. She hadn’t seen him smile like that in such a long time. Heidi moved to kiss her son’s forehead. “I’ll see you later. It was nice meeting you, Connor,” she left, knowing her son was in good hands.  

Connor sat back and looked at Evan. “She’s really nice,” he said and asked, “Would you mind if I spent the night?”

Evan shook his head. “I’d love it if you stayed. I mean, I’d like you to stay. I like you around. Shit, that sounded weird. Ah, I’m sorry, I’mreallysorry-”

Connor put his hand on Evan’s shoulder. “Calm down Evangreen.”

“What?”

Connor chuckled. “I’ve decided your nickname is Evangreen tree,” he explained.

Evan completely forgot about his panic, “Why?”

Connor gave him a mischievous smile, “Because, I’m a rebel and you can’t stop me.” Both boys laughed at the explanation. Connor had never felt this relaxed before, especially with somebody. He noticed that Evan had little freckles on his cheeks and dimples, all of it was adorable. “How anyone could dislike you is beyond me,” he said.

Evan gave him a sad smile, “You’d be surprised.” He then brightened up, “But hey, if I hadn’t been such an outcast, I wouldn’t have met you! Then today would have been really boring instead for fun.”

Connor wanted to be mad at the comment. If anyone else had said it, he probably would have been pissed, but this was Evan. Connor knew Evan didn’t mean it the way he thought he did. He inhaled deeply before giving a sad laugh. “Well, we’ll be outcasts together.”

Evan was giddy. “Of course!”

Connor had no idea why this boy liked him so much. He had no idea why the boy wanted him around. Connor wouldn’t question it though. For the first time, someone understood his loneliness.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor waited on Evan’s bed. The other teen was taking a shower and had loaned Connor some sleepwear. Evan’s pajama pants were short on him, but they fit nevertheless. He debated taking off his jacket. His arms were littered with fresh cuts from this morning. He had never been ashamed of them before, but now? Connor looked at the door as Evan enter. The other teen was giving him a sweet smile.

Evan noticed the jacket. “Are you cold?” he asked. “I could turn down the AC if you are.”

“I’m not cold,” Connor said. Maybe if he didn’t make a big deal about it, Evan wouldn’t notice. He took off the jacket and looked for the usual reaction. Connor waited for the screaming and yelling. He waited for the snide comments and cruel criticism that normally followed. Connor watched Evan leave, his heart sank a bit but Evan quickly came back with a first aid kit.

Connor watched as Evan cleaned and dressed his wounds. No one had ever done this, not even himself. Evan finished and stared up at him. God, those eyes. They were filled with guilt and a deep sadness.

“No more, please.”

Connor frowned. “It’s really not that easy,” he tried to watch his tone. He knew the wrong inflection would cause Evan to panic.

Evan nodded. He realized it was kind of like someone asking him to stop panicking. The blonde sighed before thinking of something. “How about, when the urge comes on, you call or text me?” Evan suggested.

Connor nodded. The bandages were thick on his forearm. “Hey,” he said to get Evan’s attention, “Wanna sign my cast?”

Evan laughed through his saddened face. “Sure.” He grabbed a nearby pen and lightly wrote his name on Connor’s left arm. Now you can say you have a friend.”

Connor gave him a cheeky grin, “You want to be friends with me?”


	3. Heart to Heart

The next morning, Connor drove Evan to school.

The pair entered together. A few nervous and shocked looks were directed their way but no one bothered them. Evan went to his locker with Connor behind him. The morning had started out fine. They had joked during breakfast and the drive to school was at a safe speed, much to Evan’s insistence. Everything seemed perfect.

“Connor!” a shrill voice screamed down the hall.

Shit. “Oh god, hide me please,” he said and moved at bit closer to Evan.

Evan saw Zoe Murphy tear down the hallway. He turned and saw the annoyed look on Connor’s face.

“Where were you last night, you fucking ass?!” she screamed. “Mom was crying all night because of you and dad was pissed!”

“I was with a friend,” Connor answered.

Zoe growled, “You don’t have any friends. Why would anyone want to be your friend? You were getting high again, weren’t you?! Dammit Connor, I don’t know why mom even tries to defend you anymore.”

Evan was taken aback. He thought Zoe was always so nice and sweet, not this! Evan frowned. How could she be so mean? What had Connor done to her? What had she done to Connor? The realization hit him. The outward appearances of the Murphys were just that, an appearance. Evan piped up during her ranting, “He was with me!”

Zoe did a double take. “You?” She looked at Connor. “What did you do to him?”

Connor seethed, “What are you talking about?”

Zoe gave him a glare. “You pushed him yesterday and now you were with him all night?” She turned to Evan, “Has he been hurting you? Are you okay? Did he blackmail you or something?”

Evan frowned deeply. “I’m fine! He’s my friend,” he said and showed her his cast. “He apologized to me yesterday and we hung out. He…he spent the night and drove me this morning. He didn’t hurt me at all!”

Connor was taken aback by the other teen. The only other person who had taken up for him was Cynthia, and she was terrible at it.

Zoe took a step back. She hadn’t expected that. “I see,” she said slowly. “Tell me if he hurts you Evan.” “I will,” was the only reply she got. Zoe didn’t understand this kid but let them be. “Call mom,” she instructed to Connor before leaving.

Connor lent against the lockers. “Thanks, Evan, it normally takes her a lot longer to go away.” He saw the distressed look on Evan’s face. “Hey, did she freak you out? Are you alright?”

Evan growled, “Does she always treat you like that?”

Connor’s eyes widened. “I mean…yeah. She, she kind of has a right to. I am an ass to her sometimes but-”

“That doesn’t give her the right to come after you like that? We’re in the middle of the hallway. She could have taken you aside, not try to embarrass you in front of everyone. She should be happy you have a friend!” Evan huffed and saw how shocked Connor was.

“Geez, Evangreen,” Connor gave him a small smile. “You can be really passionate, you know that.”

Evan’s frown deepened. “Does she know what you do to yourself?” he asked.

Connor now frowned. He didn’t want to talk about this, not when he had been so happy. “Yea, she does,” he said bitterly.

“Do your parent?”

“Yes Evan, Jesus Christ!” Connor growled. He felt his throat tighten. He didn’t want to talk about this. He hated talking about this. “I… I’m going to homeroom, I’ll see you in the library.”

Evan felt his bottom lip quake. He rested his head on his locker and tried to control his breathing. The bell rang and snapped Evan out of his trance.

He needed to get to class.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan sat at the computer and tried to write something.

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_Today was- is going to be a good day because_

Evan frowned and tried to think of something to write. He knew that if he made it too happy, his therapist would know he was lying. If he made it too sad, the therapist would make him sit there and answer questions. Evan couldn’t find the middle ground that would result in a pleasant smile and an all clear.

He huffed and decided he’d try again later. It didn’t need to be completed until tomorrow, he’d worry about it then.

“Whoa, déjà vu.”

Evan saw Connor beside the table. The paler teen had a sad smile on his face.

“Is this going to be a regular thing now? I do something shitty in the morning and find you here trying to write. Well, you’re not crying this time which is better.” Connor set his bag down. He took a seat next to Evan. “I guess this is where I apologize for being a dick.” Evan gave him a dazzling smile. Connor couldn’t help but smile too. “I’m sorry, it’s just…that topic is kind of sensitive for me, the harming. It really… it makes me think about how they react and I get pissed.”

Evan nodded, “I get it. I’m sorry I pushed. I just, I don’t understand.”

“Me or them?” Connor asked.

Evan frowned, “Both, I guess. I mean, you need help not…” He trailed off and mumbled to himself. Connor was obviously suffering from mental illness. Evan wondered what Connor would be like if he had gotten help when he was younger. Would Connor have been as popular as Zoe? Would Zoe and Connor be close now? Would Connor smile more? Evan wondered if they would have become friends if Connor had been helped. He looked at his letter. “Are you in therapy?” he asked.

Connor burst out laughing. “Are you crazy?! That would dishonor the Murphy family name. How dare I, Connor Murphy, want help for my mental problems!” His smile slowly disappeared as tears fell from the corner of his eyes. Connor curled into himself and tried to hide his face. He couldn’t stop. He hadn’t cried in so long. He’d never had someone that was genuinely concerned for him, who wanted to actually help him. Connor hiccupped and tried to wipe away the tears. 

Evan looked around and saw no one was in the library. That was good, Connor wouldn’t want anyone to see this. He wrapped an arm around Connor. Evan knew the other was hurting but didn’t know how to comfort him. “I’m sorry, Connor,” he whispered.

Said teen sniffled. “If you tell anyone about this, I will kill you,” he growled.

“I would never,” Evan said and rubbed Connor’s back. He moved away to grab some tissues from his backpack. “Here,” he offered and watched Connor wipe his eyes.

“You’re something else, Hansen,” Connor said and balled up the tissue.

“They really won’t get you help?” Evan asked in disbelief.

Connor nodded and tried to quell his anger. He wanted to throw something. He had just cried in front of someone. Connor hated looking weak, hated being weak. He turned and saw how sad Evan looked. “What?”

“I don’t understand,” is all he said.

Connor sat back, “Mental illness looks bad. It’s an image thing. Having a broken leg gets you sympathy, having a broken brain gets you outcasted.”

That only pissed Evan off. “Why would they think that?”

“You see how you’re treated, don’t you?” Connor regretted it as soon as it came out of his mouth. Evan looked shattered. Why was he so fucking terrible at this, “I’m-”

“No,” Evan interrupted. “You’re right.” He cradled his arm. “Even with a broken bone, I don’t get sympathy.” Evan looked at Connor, “I didn’t get your number last night.” He pulled out his phone and waited.

Connor was a bit surprised. He took Evan’s phone and put his contacts in. “I also put in my email,” he said, “in case you ever want to chat over that.”

Evan took his phone back and saw the number with Connor’s name above it. He cradled the device and beamed, he had a real friend.


	4. Writing Papers

 

It took Evan a week to finally realize that he had a crush on Connor. The realization happened one day at the orchard. Both teens were reading _the Outsiders_ for English class. The day Connor had cried, Evan learned that they shared English. It was their last class and was convenient since Connor and Evan didn’t have to look for each other at the end of the day.

It had become a routine that Connor would pick him up in the morning and drop him off, either after school or after they hung out. Back to the problem at hand though. Evan realized he had a major crush on Connor Murphy.

They had been sitting on the hill. The sun was going down and the dying light seemed to set the orchard in a golden glow. Connor had his hair up and was leaning against a tree. He was chewing on his thumb nail and reading. His blue eyes were scanning the paper. His lips were plump and-

Evan realized that he was Bi. He gulped and dropped his book.

“You okay?” Connor asked, amusement in his eyes.

“I’m fine!” Evan squeaked and snatched his book up again.

Connor chuckled. “Which character do you have a crush on?” he teased, seeing Evan’s face get redder.

Evan shook his head. “Not a character,” he mumbled to himself.

Connor rolled his eyes. “Denial,” he sang and looked at Evan’s cast. “Hey,” he said to get the blonde’s attention, “When do you get your cast off?”

“In a couple weeks,” Evan answered, happy that the subject had changed.

“We’ll have to celebrate when you do!” Connor said. “We should get high, or some ice cream.”

Evan thought of something. “Could we come here at night?” he asked. They hadn’t been able to and Evan really wanted to see the stars. With Connor, Connor and him together, alone in an abandoned orchard. Evan groaned, _Not now gay thoughts!_

Connor didn’t notice the internal battle, “Yeah! We could totally camp out, get some snacks and just chill all night.”

Evan became ecstatic. “That sounds great! We could do it on that Friday and spend the weekend together.” He was practically vibrating with joy and nervousness.

Connor grabbed Evan’s hand, “You’re so cute when you’re excited.”

Evan turned red once more. “Th-thank you,” he stuttered out. Both teens began to laugh again. Evan felt his heart flutter, he was in deep shit.

  

* * *

 

 

Another week passed and Evan was sitting in the living room. He had finished his English paper and was mindlessly watching TV. Connor and him had been texting throughout the day, until he read one that nearly made him choke on his water.

 **Connor** : _Dear Evan Hansen,_

_Please help your dumbass friend because he has no idea how to write a fucking English paper._

_Sincerely, the dumbass who forgot the word ‘book’ for five minutes and had to ask Zoe._

Evan felt tears in his eyes. Connor could be a fucking riot.

 **Evan** : _Why don’t I come over and help you?”_

The reply was immediate.

 **Connor** : _Be over soon to pick you up._

Evan grabbed his satchel and his copy of the book. He put his laptop in his bag and got his shoes on. Evan brushed his hair and teeth and gave himself a once over. Why was he so nervous? He’d gone with Connor to all sorts of places. _Never his house though_ , he realized. Were they going to be in Connor’s room? On his bed? Evan tried to shake off his blush. No, he would not think about that right now.

He had no need to be nervous. Connor had been in his room. Hell, they slept in the same bed whenever they had a sleepover. Evan shouldn’t be so nervous.

_Knock, knock, knock!_

Evan jumped and raced toward the door. “Hey,” he greeted cheerfully.

Connor’s face went from solemn to joyful. “Hey, Evangreen,” he greeted back. “So, my mom caught me on the way out and wants you to stay for dinner.”

Evan’s eyes widened.

Connor tried to quell the other’s fear, “I can tell her you can’t, if you don’t want to-”

“I would love to,” Evan said. He gripped his bag tighter, “Should I…should I get clothes to spend the night?”

Connor nodded enthusiastically before correcting himself. “I mean,” he tried to chill out, “if you want.”

Evan caught the joy in Connor’s eyes though. He smiled, “Wait here and let me grab some stuff.” He got a change of clothes before leaving with Connor.

The drive to Connor’s house was short and the pair exited the car and walked up to the mansion. Well, it was a mansion to Evan. He didn’t know if this counted as a real mansion to others though.

“Don’t let it fool you, my family sucks,” Connor said.

Evan followed close behind as they entered the large house. “It’s a beautiful home,” he whispered. Connor shrugged and led him though the house. Evan heard someone in the kitchen.

Connor put a finger up to his mouth, “Shh,” he grabbed Evan’s wrist. They ran up the stairs and he pushed Evan into his room.

Evan giggled and looked around. “I thought you said I was invited?” he panted out. Evan sat his bag down and took off his shoes.

“Doesn’t mean I’m ready to share you yet,” Connor teased with a wink.

Evan felt his face burn. He knew Connor didn’t mean it that way but it still made his heart skip a beat. Evan looked around the room. The walls were a pale off-white and there were band posters hanging on them. Connor’s bed was in a corner near the window. There was a TV across from the bed with movies stacked around it. The nightstand beside the bed was cluttered with random things. A hamper sat in a corner. The amount stuff wasn’t proportional to the size of the room.

Evan knew that if all these things were in his room, it’d be a cluttered mess. However, Connor’s room felt… empty. He watched Connor jump on his bed.

“Welcome to chateau de Murphy,” he said and patted the space beside him.

Evan giggled. “You know French?”

“I know common phrases in movies, and how to use google to look up what they mean.” Connor laid back on the bed. “I don’t want to write,” he whined. His blue eyes shining with mischief, “You’re a terrible influence, Hansen. Making me want to get good grades and shit.”

Evan sat down, “I thought I was Evangreen?”

Connor rolled his eyes, “And I thought I said that I’m a rebel and you can’t stop me.” They both began to laugh. Any trace of tension in the room was replaced with warmth at the sound.

Evan decided they should work though. “What did you need help with?” he asked.

Connor whined, “This is stupid, I’ve read the book a shit ton of times. I don’t see a point in this.” He smiled, “We should just not do it and call it a day.”

Evan rolled his eyes. “Come on, Connor, please.”

Connor gave him a sly grin, “What will you give me?”

Evan shrugged, “I don’t know. What do you want?”

Connor rolled toward him, “Give me a kiss?”

Evan choked and sputtered at the request. “I- we…I, What?!”

Connor burst out laughing. “Calm down, Evan! I was joking, geez.” He sat up. “I guess I’ll work. Your goody two shoesness has infected me.” Connor grabbed his laptop and opened it up. He noticed Evan was still red faced and mumbling. Connor thought he looked so cute, red cheeked and lip quivering. “You alright?” he asked, trying not to think about how precious the boy was.

Evan tried to think of something to say. He decided to nod, not trusting his voice. His laptop weighed heavily on his lap. Evan tried to stop thinking about Connor’s lips against him. The image made his heart beat rapidly and his palms sweaty.

Connor shrugged, “Well, the only thing I need help with is the ending. I always get stuck on the last paragraph and I hate it.” He pulled up his paper and showed it to Evan. “Here, read it and give me some advice.”

Evan nodded. He set down his own laptop and grabbed Connor’s. They edited and finished off Connor’s paper. The two then decided to watch some TV before Connor’s mom called them down for dinner.

Evan saw how the brunette’s smiling face fell. “You okay?” he asked.

Connor shook his head. “It’s… I don’t want you to meet them.”

Evan was surprised, “Why not?”

Connor sighed and got up. “Come on. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can come back up here.” He held out his hand for Evan to take.

The other teen stared at the outstretched hand. Evan took it and stood up. “Well,” he started, “if it gets too bad, we could just leave.”

Connor gave him a small smile. “You’re a genius, Evangreen.”


	5. Can You Hold Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brain: Make it gayer.
> 
> No breaks on the ship train kids. I can't torture myself with slow burn.

 

Connor slowly descended the stairs with Evan behind him. He didn’t want to deal with his family and the last thing he wanted was for Evan to hate him. Connor’s frowned deepened, his family had enough influence to ruin his friendships. They entered the dining room and saw the shocked face of Larry.

“I told you,” Zoe said with a smug tone.

Larry sat at the head of the table and scoffed. “Well, I guess I owe you twenty dollars.”

Connor rolled his eyes and pulled out a chair and gestured for Evan to sit in it.

Evan sat and looked around. His dining room wasn’t really a place to eat, more to store stuff and clutter the table. The man at the head of the table, he guessed was Connor’s father, seemed to be examining him. The older man’s blue eyes seemed to judge every tic and fidget Evan showed. It made the blonde’s skin crawl. All the attention was making him very uncomfortable. He played with the hem of his shirt and tried to ignore the eyes on him. A hand came down to cover his. He looked up at Connor and saw the concern in the blue pools. Those eyes seemed to ask if Evan was okay. “I’m fine,” the blonde reassured.

Connor seemed to relax and pulled away.

Evan frowned at the loss of contact. The warmth had been calming and welcomed. It reminded him of when they slept. Connor would always wrap his arms around Evan during the night. Evan quietly sighed, he hoped they would sleep in the same bed tonight.

Larry’s voice cut through the calm silcence. “Could you not touch at the table?!” Larry yelled, glaring at Connor.

Connor growled, “You were freaking him out with all your staring.”

“Sorry, I was confused by the fact that you have a friend over that doesn’t appear to be a drug dealer or fuck buddy,” Larry shot back.

“Fuck off,” Connor screamed.

Cynthia came in carrying a lasagna. “Connor, please! Not in front of your guest, dear.” She set the pasta in the center of the table. “Cynthia Murphy,” she greeted, “nice to meet you.”

Evan gave her a nervous smile. “E-Evan Hansen, ma’am.”

Zoe frowned, “Can we eat now, mom?”

Cynthia nodded and sat beside Larry.

They served and ate in silence. It wasn’t terrible before Larry opened his mouth.

“So Evan, are you gay?”

Evan choked on his food and coughed violently. Connor patted his back as he tried to catch his breath.  Evan swallowed some water before asking, “Why?”

Larry gave him a sad smile. “I just wanted to know if your parents failed you like we failed our son.”

Connor growled and Zoe rolled her eyes. Neither teen wanted to deal with their father’s homophobic bullshit.

Evan gave him a confused look before turning to Connor. The pale teen’s leg was bouncing and his knuckles were white from his tight grip on his fork. Connor looked like he was about to explode. “I’m Bi,” Evan answered, stunning the table, “and I don’t think being anything other than straight is the result of failed parenting. It’s not something you choose. You don’t choose your eye color, just like you don’t choose what kind of gender you’re attracted to.”

Everyone looked surprised and turned to Evan. Connor slowly smiled and looked at Larry smugly. His father merely grumbled and went back to eating.

Cynthia tried to ease the tension. “How did you two meet?” she asked sweetly.

“I pushed him in the hallway,” Connor started, “I went an apologized to him later and then we became friends.” He pushed his noodles around his plate.

Cynthia fell silent, “Oh.”

Zoe laughed and added, “That was my same reaction.”

Evan finished eating and decided to sit there quietly. He watched the Murphys exchange tensed looks and frowns. Evan never had dinners like this. Some were lonely but never this strained and uncomfortable. He saw how unhappy Connor was at this table. Those blue eyes were dulled instead of shining. It was strange. Whenever he ate at Evan’s house, Connor was full of smiles and dorky chatter. He was never this quiet and tense. Hell, Connor wasn’t even eating right now. Evan wondered how a family could be so… broken.

Connor noticed the blonde’s clean plate. “We’re going back to my room,” he stated and sat up. “Thanks for the lasagna, Cynthia,” he said and walked out of the diningroom. “Come on, Evan,” he urged.

Evan smiled, “Thank you for the meal.” He rushed out of the tension filled room.

Everyone at the table was surprised. Cynthia looked at Larry. “He said thank you,” she whispered in shock, a smile on her face.

Larry just grumbled.

  

* * *

 

 

Connor was putting on some pajama pants. He faced the wall as Evan changed behind him. “You done?” he asked. He heard a surprised squeak and then a quiet, “Yes.” Connor turned around and climbed onto his bed. “Do you want the space by the wall?”

Evan whimpered. While he really liked sleeping with Connor, he didn’t want to be blocked in. “Could I have the outside?” he asked meekly.

Connor nodded, “Sure, I like the wall anyway. Just thought I would ask.” He picked at his nails. He’d need to paint them soon. “I don’t have to sleep in the bed.”

Evan looked at him with fear in his eyes. “Did…did I do something wrong?”

Connor was shocked. “No, no, I just…are you comfortable with me sleeping with you?”

“I like sleeping with you,” Evan blurted out. His face flushed when he realized how that sounded. “I-I mean I… oh that sounded creepy, sounded really creepy. I’m sorry-”

“Evan,” Connor said firmly. “I like sleeping with you too,” he admitted and waited for a negative reaction.

Evan smiled sweetly. He crawled onto the bed and Connor reached over him to turn off the light. They both laid down and got under the covers. Evan felt nervous and picked at his cast. Connor had left a good foot of space between them. “Hey Connor?” he whispered.

“Yea?”

“Could…could you hold me?” Evan asked, voice shaking. His heart rate picked up. Why couldn’t just keep his mouth shut? He gasped when a warm arm circled his waist. Evan let himself he pulled against Connor’s chest. The heat was wonderful and made him feel safe and secure. He placed his casted arm on top of Connor’s. “Thank you,” he whispered and pressed himself closer to the other teen.

They laid there for a while, both of them relaxing into each other. Evan let his fingers thread with Connor’s. He felt Connor grip his hand. Maybe it was the embrace, the warmth, or even just being with Connor but it calmed Evan. He let his guard down and couldn’t stop himself for confessing, “I really like you.”

Connor nuzzled into Evan’s neck. “I like you too,” he whispered into the blonde’s ear.

A shiver ran through Evan. He pressed into his pillow and smiled. “Do…do you want to, want to go out with-”

Connor smiled against Evan’s skin. “Let’s get ice cream tomorrow.”

Evan brought his knees to his chest. He was ecstatic and giddy. “Okay.”

“Go to sleep, Evangreen,” Connor whispered and snuggled closer to the other teen.

The two fell asleep, excited for the day ahead.


	6. Will Power and Ice Cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brain: MAKE IT GAYYYYYYER
> 
> I have no self control

Sunlight was streaming in from the window and bathing the room in a golden glow. Sore muscles were stretched and Connor let out a loud yawn. He blinked his eyes open and adjusted to the bright light. The brunette cursed at himself, he had forgotten to close the curtains last night. The teen sat up and rolled his shoulders, hearing a satisfying pop for his efforts. There was a warmth beside him and he remember he had a bedmate. The body next to him shifted and whined. Connor watched Evan try to curl away from the sunshine.

The paler teen moved to get a better look at the sweet boy lying beside him. Evan was even more adorable when he slept. His body was curled into a ball and his hair was messy. Connor decided that he should get up. He slid to the foot of the bed and tried to quietly exit. Blue eyes blinked out the last traces of sleep and moved around to grab some clothes. He noticed Evan’s sweater on the floor. Connor smiled and then remembered what happened last night. The memories of Evan asking Connor to hold him and confessing rushed to the front of his mind. A deep blush spread across his face.

“Oh god,” the pale teen groaned. He hoped with every fiber of his being that Evan didn’t wake up and regret what was said. Connor pulled on a shirt and some jeans. He hoped today would go well. The teen looked at Evan’s sleeping face before going downstairs to eat some pop tarts. He decided he’d bring some up for Evan too.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan felt cold. He searched for warmth in the bed and found none. Where was Connor? Evan sat up, confused and groggy. “Connor?” he whined and looked around. The room looked so different in morning light. He saw that Connor really was gone. Why did he leave? Evan’s mind cleared and he remembered the night before. His face turned scarlet.

Oh god, what if Connor was just being nice last night? What if he didn’t want to be around him anymore? Evan felt his breath quicken. His eyes watered at the thoughts. He had let it slip, he’d fucked up, oh god he fucked up.

“You okay?”

Evan turned toward the voice and saw Connor. He was there in the doorway, holding a pop tart package. Evan frowned, “About last night.”

“You regret it, don’t you?” Connor felt his heart clench.

Evan frowned, “I…I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want us to stop hanging out because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I’mreallysorry-”

Connor closed the door. The stuttered words replayed in his head. Evan regretted the confession because he feared rejection. Connor was relieved. He moved across the room and grabbed the front of Evan’s t-shirt.

Evan wondered if he was going to get punched or if he was going to be dragged out of the house. He hadn’t expected lips against his. The blonde leaned into the kiss. Evan let his eyes close. A new kind of warmth was spreading inside of him. For once, his mind wasn’t racing and the air seemed to still. Connor’s lips were chapped and tasted like strawberries, it grounded Evan. He placed his shaky hand on Connor’s shoulder and tugged the other boy closer. He heard the brunette let out a deep groan and felt Connor pulling away. Evan whined when the kiss was broken. His lips searched for Connor’s but was denied. He gasped when a gentle hand pushed him against the bed. Connor was now towering over him and slipped between his legs. Evan looked up and saw the mix of emotions in the other’s blue eyes. The brunette’s hair was messy and fell around his face. Evan brushed some of it behind Connor’s ear. He watched as a smile slowly formed on the pale teen’s lips. The blonde felt his heart skip a beat at the sight. Connor really was beautiful. Those grinning lips pressed a kiss against Evan’s wrist. Connor looked practically angelic. “You’re so pretty,” Evan whispered, completely lost in his own world.

Connor smiled and moved in to continue were they left off.

Evan hummed in joy. This kiss was harder, more lustful. He whimpered as teeth nibbled his bottom lip and hands made their way up his sides. His whole body was on fire and he didn’t know what to do. They were shifting and moving, trying to find a balance with each other. Connor’s tongue swiped against his mouth. Evan tensed up. He’d only ever seen this kind of kissing in movies, and he definitely hadn’t been kissed like this.

Connor pulled back and tapped Evan’s chin. “Open up,” he begged.

The shaky teen complied. He opened his mouth a bit and moaned when Connor sealed their lips. The other teen’s warm tongue tried to coax his to play. It wrapped around his and made the blonde melt. Evan tried to mimic what Connor was doing. Tongues caressed and teeth knocked but both boys loved it. They soon fell into an erratic rhythm. Evan’s hand moved to Connor’s hair, it was so soft and slipped through his twirling fingers. He gave it a light tug and felt Connor’s groan. Hands were slowly exploring now. One of Evan’s stayed buried in chocolate waves. The other was running up Connor’s shirt. The brunette’s chest was warm and seemed to vibrate under the blonde’s fingers.

The pale teen let one of his hands wander Evan’s side while the other supported him. He trailed downward to grab Evan’s ass, giving it a firm squeeze. There was barely any material to fight through as he kneaded the supple flesh. Connor felt himself harden at the moans he received from the action. The noises Evan was making were driving him crazy.

Curious touches became firmer and the kiss became sloppy. Breathing became labored and both needed a break. Neither one wanted to let go, though. Evan pulled away first and moved his head to the side. He was gasping for air and his entire body was shaking. Blunt teeth went to gently nip at his neck. “No marks,” he moaned and lightly pushed Connor’s head away. The other teen nodded and sat back.

Connor watched Evan pant under him. The blonde’s face was completely red and his lips were puffy from the kiss. The brunette realized he had somehow gotten between Evan’s legs. His hands slid along the plush thighs and up to the blonde’s knees, he spread them and groaned. They needed to stop. The door wasn’t locked and Connor didn’t want anyone catching them. He licked his lips, Evan’s taste lingered. Connor took in a deep breath. He needed to get away from the blonde before he jumped the boy again. He used all of his willpower to get off the bed. Connor’s legs were a bit shaky but he righted himself. His dick was hard and his heart was palpitating. “I’ll be back, shower,” he said quickly and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Evan laid there and contemplated life. He could still feel Connor. The warmth of those chapped lips. The feeling of Connor pressed against him. That kneading hand grabbing at his ass. He licked his lips and wondered how long Connor would be. There were two options, take care of his problem or wait for it to go away. He took off his night shirt and pulled down the pajama bottoms.

He’d be quick.

 

* * *

 

 

The weather was nice today, still hot but somewhat bearable, and both boys were walking onto the side walk. The only shady parking spots were a bit of a walk from the store. The A La Mode sign shined and made Connor strangely giddy. Connor grabbed Evan’s hand and led him to the shop. “Come on,” he urged and pulled the other boy along.

Evan giggled and followed Connor into the ice cream parlor. He looked at the giant menu and began to panic. How the hell was he supposed to pick from all this? “What are you getting?” he asked Connor, hoping to get an idea.

Connor shrugged, “Probably cookie dough or maybe mint chocolate chip.” He chuckled and turned to Evan, “What about you?”

“V-vanilla,” he stuttered over.

Connor rolled his eyes, “You’re practically the embodiment of vanilla.”

Evan shuffled a bit. “Maybe, you could surprise me,” he suggested. Evan was curious about what Connor would choose for him.

The brunette smiled, “You want it in a cone or a cup?”

“Cup please,” Evan whispered.

“Are you ready to order?” a sweet girl behind the counter asked. Her voice was pleasant and a practiced smile was on her lips. She looked tired though.

Connor nodded, “Yeah, I’ll take two scoops of cookie dough in a cone and…” he looked at Evan and smiled. “A scoop of chocolate and a scoop of vanilla in a cup.”

They finished the transaction and left. Evan was a bit surprised by Connor’s pick for him, he hadn’t expected a mix. The two debated about eating outside. Neither one could stand the new wave that greeted them when they stepped out of the shop though. Eating inside the shop wasn’t an option, they wanted privacy to do…things. They decided to just sit in Connor’s car.

“I’m glad it’s going to be cooler next week,” the pale teen said and reclined in his seat. When it got colder, no one questioned his jacket.

Evan nodded, “Yeah, I don’t really like summer. Fall is the perfect balance of hot and cold.”

“It really is,” Connor agreed and dug into his cone. He saw Evan nibbling at his ice cream. “Hey,” he said, “you should let me have some.”

Evan cocked his eyebrow. “Why should I? It’s my ice cream,” he shot back and took another bite. A playful look was on his face.

Connor gave him a shocked smiled. “Evan Hansen, was that sass?”

Said teen giggled but said nothing in reply.

Connor began to laugh, “I have a secret sass master in my car, oh my god.” He forgot his cone and pinched Evan’s thigh, making the shorter boy squeak. “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

Evan purred, “No, but I kiss you.”

The pale teen’s mouth was hanging open in awe. “I’m rubbing off on you, aren’t I Evangreen?” Connor teased.

“I’m a rebel and you can’t stop me!” Evan blurted out and caused both of them to laugh.

Connor hadn’t felt this happy in a long time. Without thinking, he leaned over and kissed Evan. He was surprised when his kiss was reciprocated without hesitation. Connor could feel the ice cream dripping down his fingers. He let it melt, it was worth it to kiss Evan.


	7. Throwing Punches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jared makes and appearance. Also Connor learned his magic words from Eminem.

Monday rolled around and Evan got dressed and waited for Connor outside of his house. He smiled when the beat up grey car came into view.

“Morning,” Connor greeted. He probably just woke up from how his voice sounded.

Evan smiled and hopped into the passenger seat. He surged forward and planted a kiss on Connor’s cheek. “Morning,” he replied and buckled up.

Connor bit his lip. “You really know how to start off a guy’s day,” he beamed and began to drive to school.

It only took ten minutes to get there, which was great. Traffic wasn’t as terrible as it normally was. Evan wasn’t surprised when Connor opened his door for him. He got out and said a ‘thank you’. The blonde had noticed that Connor would do stuff like that, open the door for him and pull out his chair, things of that nature. Evan realized that he had a classic romantic on his hands, even if Connor would never verbally admit it.

Fingers laced with his as they walked into school. People stared and gawked but no one approached them. Evan realized that this was the first time they came to school as boyfriends instead of just friends. They went to Evan’s locker, like most mornings.

“Why don’t you just carry everything in your backpack?” Connor asked.

Evan held up his casted arm and gave Connor a ‘duh’ look.

Connor chuckled. “I get it, my bad,” he rested his head against the cool metal and watched Evan take out his history book.

“Evan?!”

Said teen whipped around and was surprised to see Jared.

“What the hell, Hansen? Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in weeks!” Jared looked at Connor and then back at Evan. “So it’s really true. I thought people were just making shit up, but it’s true, you’re paling around with the school shooter.”

“Watch it, Kleinman,” Connor growled.

“Or what, you gonna throw a printer at me?” Jared shot back. Both teens went toe to toe.

Connor balled up his fist, “Step off, bitch.”

“Make me,” Jared challenged.  

Evan pushed between them. “Go away, Jared!” he ordered and pushed at the other’s chest.

Jared was shocked. “You’re siding with him?” he asked in disbelief.

Evan flushed a bit but growled, “Of course I am. You’re the one that came over here and started acting like a jackass.”

Jared scoffed, “Whatever, Hansen. I didn’t come here to fight. I need to talk to you,” he looked at Connor and added, “alone.”

In defiance, Connor rested his chin on Evan’s shoulder. Jared’s glare didn’t do anything to him, but Evan’s gentle nudge caught his attention.

“I’ll be okay, go to class,” the blonde reassured and gave the other a sweet smile.

Connor really wanted to piss off Jared, but he also wanted to make Evan happy. He sighed, Evan was more important. “I’ll see you at the library,” he said and moved down the hall, shooting a final glare at Jared.

Evan gave Jared his full attention. “What did you want to talk about?”

Jared glared at Connor’s back before nonchalantly explaining, “I need you to come to my house tonight.”

“What for?” Evan asked.

Jared rolled his eyes. “My parents think that I finally ditched you and won’t pay my insurance, so I need you to come over.”

Evan felt anger boil inside him. He tried to hold it in though. “I have plans,” was all he said.

The other teen stared at him in surprise. “Wait don’t tell me. Are you and Connor really, you know?” Jared knocked his fists together.

Evan was surprised. He didn’t know information spread so fast. “Where’d you hear that?” he asked.

“Zoe told, Alana, who told some other kid, who told most of the school. Anyway, is it true?” Jared inquired. He moved closer to Evan, “People are wondering if he’s like blackmailing you or you know…kicking your ass to make you hang around him.”

Evan was taken aback. “We like each other. Why is that so hard to believe?” he hissed.

Jared growled, “Because he’s a fucking psychopath!”

“You don’t even know him!” Evan defended. All the people around them turned. Some began to gather around the two.

Jared began to get red in the face. “I don’t know him? I was his friend!”

“No wonder he hates you then. You’re a terrible fucking friend!” Evan screamed. He gasped when a firm hand pushed his right shoulder. Evan felt himself falling and swung his arm out to grab onto Jared. Blinding pain followed. He landed on his ass and cradled his casted arm. “Fuck!” he shrieked. The blonde had definitely hit something. Evan looked up and saw Jared was cradling his mouth and blood was flowing down his chin. “Jared?!”

“Fuck you, Hansen!” Jared cried in a broken voice, tears running down his face. He pushed through the crowd of people and down the hall.

Evan looked around confused. His arm was throbbing and his heart was racing. He had just punched Jared in the face.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan played with the hem of his shirt and kept his head down as he sat in front of the principal.

“Can you explain to me what happened, Evan?”

Evan frowned. “I was…we were arguing and, and then um… he pushed me and I tried to grab onto him so I wouldn’t fall and I’msosorryisJaredokay?!”

Principal sat back, “Calm down, Evan. Jared is fine. You hit him in the lower mouth and busted his lip. I just wanted to know if you would corroborate the other students’ stories.” He threaded his fingers, “Evan, you’re a good kid. You’ve kept your head down and have never caused trouble. This was an accident so, only this time, I will let you off with a warning.”

Evan nodded. “I’m sorry, sir.”

The principal, whose name Evan never really cared to remember, leant forward. “Are you friends with Connor Murphy, Evan?”

The blonde teen frowned. What was everyone’s deal? “Yes,” he answered, a bit agitated.

The principal frowned as well. “I see,” he gave Evan a serious look, “Evan, you need to be careful. That boy has issues. We’ve tried to offer some suggestions but his parents aren’t too keen on getting him help. As a result, he is very…volatile.”

Evan wanted to tell him off but kept quiet. He was already in enough trouble. Evan nodded, “I’ll be careful.”

The principal nodded, “Alright then, you can go back to class.”

 

* * *

 

 

Evan printed out his letter and placed it in his backpack. The day seemed to drag on. Kids in the hallways seemed to shy away from him. What was being spread? Did they think Connor had turned him into some punch throwing hooligan? Evan frowned. No one knew Connor like he did and maybe that was for the best. Evan knew that if people got to know Connor, they would like him. The blonde really didn’t want any competition for the male Murphy’s affection. Though he doubted that Connor would notice anyone else. The thought still made Evan jealous though.

“Well if it isn’t my knight in shining cast!”

Warm arms wrapped around Evan’s waist and caused the other boy to giggle. “What are you talking about?” he asked and tried to turn around in the hug. When he did, Connor gave him a kiss on the nose.

“You didn’t hear? The whole school thinks you beat up Jared to defend my honor.”  Connor laughed at Evan’s face. “I know it was an accident though.”

Evan relaxed in relief. “I really didn’t mean to hit him. I was angry but…I can’t really hit,” he said.

Connor rested his hands on the blonde’s hips. “Maybe I should teach you how to fight,” he said.

Evan rolled his eyes, “Unlike you, I can’t throw printers.”

It was the first time Connor ever laughed about the printer story. “You get one of those jokes, Hansen.” He kissed the other boy’s cheek. “Are you free tonight?”

Evan pressed closer to Connor, “No, I have an appointment today.” The blonde hugged Connor closer. “Will you drive me home?” he plead.

The pale teen gave him a bittersweet smile. “Yeah, I’ll drive you home.” He really wanted to spend time with Evan. The pair had been inseparable the entire weekend and neither wanted to be apart. “Teenage love sucks,” Connor whined.

Evan giggled into Connor’s shoulder, “Yeah, it does.” He gripped at the brunette’s back.

Connor whispered into Evan’s ear, “You wanna make out?”

Evan turned red but gave a small nod. He let Connor pull him into a dark corner of the library. Bookcases blocked them from the checkout desk’s view. Evan had heard about this spot in passing. Other couples would run here during the day to share kisses and unapproved school touches. The blonde was glad that they were alone, getting in trouble wasn’t really appealing after what happened earlier.

Connor cupped Evan’s face and pressed a kiss onto the blonde’s lips. He pushed the other boy’s body against the wall and wrapped his arm around the blonde’s waist.

Evan rubbed the pale teen’s side with his casted hand. His other hand slipped into Connor’s hair. How did Connor get it so soft? Evan realized he had a thing for the brunette’s wavy tresses.

At the same time, Connor realized that he had a thing for Evan’s butt. His hand fought against the khaki material and growled.

Evan gasped as Connor’s hand slipped in his pants to grab at his ass. The blonde was thankful that Connor stayed out of his underwear but the contact still made him shudder. Evan moaned as the hand groped him and pulled him closer. Their groins pushed together and caused them both to gasp. He pulled away from the kiss and let Connor bite at his neck. “N-not where it can be seen.”

Connor unbuttoned Evan’s polo and moved to kiss and suck at the blonde’s collarbone. “I want to cover you in marks,” he smiled at the purple hickey he had made the night before. “I want everyone to see that you’re mine.”

Evan smiled. “When we’re out of school?” he offered.

Connor gave him a sweet smile, “You think we’ll make it that long?”

Evan giggled and the eagerness in Connor’s voice. “Definitely,” he said and ran his fingers through the pale teen’s hair.

“Connor?”  

The voice made both teen’s freeze. It was Zoe. They separated and tried to look presentable. Connor put a finger on Evan’s quivering lips, “I’ll be right back.” He gave the boy a final peck and moved through the bookshelves.

Connor saw his sister was sitting beside his bag. “What’s up?”

Zoe frowned, “Are you hanging out with Evan tonight?”

Connor shook his head, “No, he has to go to therapy today.”

Zoe felt her heart sink. She wished her parents would let Connor get help. Zoe nodded though. “Mom just wants to know if you’ll be home for dinner.”

“I will be,” Connor answered.

Zoe stood up and smiled, “Were you and Evan in the make out corner?”

Connor chuckled, “Maybe. Why, are you going to tell Larry?”

Zoe rolled her eyes. “I’m not just a snitch.”

Connor’s face fell, “You could have fooled me.”

The bonding moment left as soon as it came and tension fell over the siblings once more. Connor didn’t want to get angry, not with Evan waiting for him. He sucked in a breath and said, “Tell Cynthia that I’ll be home.”

Zoe nodded and decided to leave. She had been expecting an outburst. Zoe saw that someone was behind the bookcase. A flash of a white cast made her smile. So that was why Connor kept his cool. She walked out of the library feeling a lot better about Connor dating the skittish blonde.

The pale teen sighed and ran some fingers through his hair. He turned back to Evan. Right now, he needed all the love he could get.


	8. Wanna Build A Fort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone ask for Cynthia and Zoe development?

Connor came down from his room, phone in hand. Evan was texting him and the distraction would be welcomed for what was ahead. Zoe was at the table, looking at her phone as well. Connor sat down and opened up the message Evan had sent him.

 **Evangreen** : _My mom wants to know if you want to come over tomorrow night_

Connor smiled and replied.

 **Connor** : _I’ll be there_

 **Evangreen** : _Great! She wants to cook for us. Do you want to spend the night too?_

 **Connor** : _Hell yeah!_

The pale teen was beaming. He couldn’t wait to see Evan. Couldn’t wait to hold him. Connor frowned, he was getting a little attached. He laughed, so this was why Romeo and Juliet were so stupid.

“You texting, Evan?” Zoe teased across the table.

Connor looked at her, eyebrow raised. “How’d you know?”

Zoe rolled her eyes, “Because you’re smiling.” She looked up from her phone, “I hope you know that boy has you wrapped around his finger.”

The male Murphy looked at his phone and chuckled. Shit, she was right, he was whipped. The siblings shared a laugh and a calm settled over them.

“What are you two talking about?” Larry asked as he lumbered into the room. 

“Nothing,” Connor said, a frown returning to his face.

Zoe frowned as well. She had seen a flash of light and watched as it was snuffed out just as fast. Zoe looked at her dad. They had been having a moment, for the first time in years and it got ruined! She sighed and wondered if she could talk to Connor after dinner. Maybe…maybe there was a chance this time.

Cynthia set down the casserole and saw the tension at the table. She tried to brighten up the room. “Connor, Zoe, how was school.”

“Fine,” both teens answered.

Larry spoke up. “I heard that Evan got in a fight.”

Connor’s head shot up. “Where’d you hear that?”

Larry sat back, a smug look on his face. “The principal called. He wanted to make sure you weren’t corrupting the poor boy. He was concerned that Evan might become like _you_.”

Connor gripped at his fork. He was about to make a snapping remark when Zoe spoke up.

“It was an accident, dad. Some kid pushed Evan and, when he was falling, his cast caught the kid in the jaw.” Zoe poked at her food. She looked at her father, “I saw the whole thing. Evan was sticking up for Connor.” Zoe looked at her brother, “Speaking of which, is Evan’s arm okay?”

Connor was surprised. Zoe had said something against Larry. He shook of his shock and answered, “He’s getting it looked at soon. The cast might have to stay on for longer, which sucks. We were planning on celebrating this week when it came off.” Connor smiled, “I’m going over there tomorrow. His mom is cooking us dinner.”

Cynthia was surprised by Connor’s smile. She beamed, “That’s wonderful, dear. I hope we can meet her one day.”

The pale teen shrugged. “Maybe,” he began, “she’s a nurse, so she works a lot.”

Cynthia smiled, “That’s wonderful, dear. I bet she’s a kind woman, nurses normally are.”

Connor nodded, “She’s very sweet and she’s a good mom. She even makes time so she can be the one to take Evan to therapy.” Heidi was an amazing person, at least from what Connor had seen and Evan had told him. The poor woman worked herself to death to provide care for her son. Being a single mom isn’t easy, but Heidi was determined to do her best. Connor really respected her.

Cynthia frowned a bit at the mention of therapy. She longed to be able to do what Evan’s mother did. For years, she had tried to get Connor help and give him support. She wasn’t a therapist though and she certainly wasn’t depression medication. The Murphy matriarch hoped to meet this woman someday. Cynthia swallowed her sadness, like she always did, and tried to keep her smile. “Maybe they could come over for the holidays,” she suggested.

Connor beamed at the idea. His eyes lit up and he excitedly agreed, “Yeah! They don’t really have any extended family, kind of like us. I think they’d like to come over.” He felt his pocket vibrate and saw Evan’s texts.

 **Evangreen** : _I miss you. Can I call you? I really want to hear your voice_

 **Evangreen** : _Am I bugging you? You’re probably busy_

 **Evangreen** : _I’m sorry I’m being needy._

Connor chuckled. Evan was so cute. He could practically see Evan pacing around waiting for a response.

 **Connor** : _Give me a second_

He typed quickly and stood up. “I’m going to my room. Thanks for the food, mom,” he said absentmindedly. Connor ran out of the dining room and up the stairs.

The remaining Murphys sat at the table in shock. Larry set he fork down and sat back. Cynthia felt tears well in her eyes. “He called me mom!” she began to happily sob. “Larry, he called me mom.” She wiped at her blue eyes and tried to control her joyful tears.

Zoe pulled her mother into a hug. She knew that there was a chance this time.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor talked to Evan for over an hour. The two were simply rambling to each other until Evan yawned. “Are you passing out on me, Evangreen?” Connor teased, feeling his own eye lids were growing heavy.

“ _I think so. I’ll see you tomorrow, right_?”

Connor nodded but then remembered that Evan couldn’t see him. “Of course you’ll see me.”

“ _Okay_ ,” Evan whispered, “ _Good night, Connor_.”

“Night, Evan.” Connor hung up and sighed. His bed felt so cold. A knock at his door roused him though. He begrudgingly sat up and answered the door.

Zoe stood there. “Hey,” she said, “can I come in?”

Connor shrugged. “Sure,” he moved to the side and let her into the room. He shut the door behind her and went to sit on his bed. “Did Larry send you up here?”

Zoe shook her head, “No, I wanted to talk to you, about Evan.”

“What about him?” Connor growled.

Zoe wasn’t fazed. She saw that the room was a lot neater than it had been. “Does he make you happy?” she asked. There was no mock or sneer in her tone. It was a genuine question.

Connor was a bit surprised. “Yeah,” the teen answered and looked at his phone. A warmth spread through him. “He really does.”

Zoe nodded. “I could tell, I just wanted to see if you would admit it.”

Connor quirked an eyebrow, “Why are you here?”

Zoe frowned. “Remember when we were ten and you talked me into running away?”

Connor chuckled, “We barely made it down the driveway before Larry started yelling.”

Zoe giggled, “Mom bribed us with cookies and we immediately ran back to the house.” She saw Connor’s smile and felt her heart melt. He looked like Connor, her Connor. The big brother who said he’d fight every boy she would date. The one that would steal snacks for them late at night. This was the boy she made pillow forts with and would hear ghost stories from. The old memories warmed her heart but made her feel hollow. A single tear ran down her cheek.

Connor saw it. “You okay?” he asked.

Zoe sniffled and sat beside him. “I want us to go back to normal,” she sobbed. “I hate this. I hate fighting with you. I hate seeing you miserable. I hate all of us being miserable. I just want our family back.”

Connor frowned. He hated it too. There wasn’t a day that went by where he didn’t wish to be normal. “I’m sorry, Zoe,” he choked out and began to cry as well.  

The girl looked at him in shock. “Connor,” she said and pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry too.”

The dam finally broke for the both of them. Heartache that had laid dormant for years was now creeping to the surface. They held onto each other and cried.

Zoe sniffled and asked, “You wanna build a fort?”

Connor laughed through his tears and nodded, “We should use your pillows. Mine are all beaten down.”

Zoe laughed, deep down inside, this boy was still her Connor.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor drove down the familiar street and stopped in front of the cream colored house. Evan saw him and his freckled face lit up. Connor watched the other teen run to the car and hop in. Evan immediately gave Connor a kiss on the cheek. The pale teen smiled, “At least give me a proper one, geez.” He tugged the other into a kiss.

Evan squeaked but giggled against Connor’s lips. He moved back. “This is weird,” the blonde said, sitting back and buckling his seatbelt.

Connor nodded, “We’re both weird so it makes sense.”

On the drive to school Evan asked, “Are you still spending the night tonight?”

Connor chuckled. “You seem eager to get me in your bed, Hansen,” he teased.

“I kind of am,” Evan replied. His eyes went wide when he realized what he said. “I-I mean I’m not. I mean I am but- but not in that way, at least right now. I mean like in a… I’m making it worse, Pleasesaysomethingandstopme!”

Connor parked in the lot and turned to the stammering mess. “All you have to do is ask, Hansen. I’d gladly oblige.”

Evan balked and made unintelligible noises.

Connor began to laugh wholeheartedly. “I’m teasing, Jesus, Evan!” He rubbed the other teen’s blushing cheek. “Though, if you were to ask me, I’d totally do it.”

Evan made a loud squeak in response and Connor laughed again. “It’s not funny!” the blonde said, utterly mortified.  

“It’s a little funny,” the pale teen remarked and got out of the car. He rounded the other side and opened the door for a flustered Evan. The two walked into the school. After yesterday’s incident, more people were staring at them. They made it to Evan’s locker without incident though.

“When are you going to the doctor?” Connor asked.

Evan frowned. “Tomorrow. Mom said that I’ll probably have to keep the cast on for another week.” He groaned, “I want this stupid thing off so I can carry stuff again.”

Connor nodded. “We’ll postpone our little trip to the orchard.”

Evan frowned. “I was really looking forward to going,” he whined.

Connor smiled, “We’ll still go, just not this weekend.” He wanted to kiss Evan’s pouting lips but knew better than to do it in the hallway. The pale teen settled for putting a hand on the blonde’s shoulder. Evan relaxed under his touch.

A calm settled over them and all worries were forgotten.  


	9. You'll Always Have A Home Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Handjob scene and Heidi being an awesome mom

 

Evan settled onto his bed, legs crossed and giddy. Connor sat in front of him with a smile on his face. The blonde brushed the brunette’s soft locks. He loved how the waves slipped through the bristles and somehow came out silkier.

“How long have you wanted to do this?” Connor asked. He relaxed into Evan’s gentle movements.

Evan giggled, “Since I saw it, if I’m being honest.” He set down the brush and picked up his comb. The blonde worked the locks and got out the few tangles that laid hidden in the waves. Evan scooted closer and sectioned the hair.

Connor looked through his phone as his hair was twisted, braided, and tied.

Evan took a few rubber bands and bobby pin. His fingers moved dexterously through the mocha hair. He finished off the twist and sat back. Evan beam and bounced a bit on the bed. “All done!” he cheered and passed Connor a mirror. “Look, look!”

Connor took the hand held mirror and went over to the mirror on Evan’s desk. “Holy shit, Evan!” He went over to the boy. “Take a fucking picture of this, oh my god!” Connor sat back down and waited for Evan to hand back his phone. He looked at the photo of his hair. “How did you even do this?!” Connor turned to the blonde, “What’s this design called?”

Evan was blushing but stuttered out, “It’s…it’s called a-a fishtail flower braid.”

Connor hugged the flushed boy. “You’re so fucking talented. I have to send Zoe this, she’s going to be so fucking jealous.”

Evan hid behind his hands. “Please don’t, it’s weird.”

The pale teen frowned. “It’s not weird, Evan. It’s amazing, you should be proud of this. You were able to do this with a cast on your arm. You’re fucking awesome!” Connor pulled the blonde’s hands away and looked at the cute freckled face. Evan had been hiding a dazzling smile. Connor gave the other a playful kiss. “I hope you know Zoe is going to want you to do her hair for homecoming. You should also do mine, cause I’m your boyfriend and my hair is better than Zoe’s.” The brunette heard the little snort Evan let out. He looked at the photo of his hair again and asked, “How did you learn to do this?”

Evan shrugged, “My mom taught me.” He sat against the headboard. “I used to have hair like yours but…” he trailed off and frowned. Childhood memories came flooding back and made his heart clench.

Connor crawled over to the other teen. “You should grow it out again,” the brunette said and pulled Evan onto his lap. “That way we can braid each other’s hair and be gay as fuck.”

Evan giggled and wrapped his arms around Connor’s shoulders. “I wouldn’t look good with long hair,” he mumbled and let himself relax in Connor’s arms.

The brunette rolled his eyes, “Bullshit, Hansen.” Connor put his head against Evan’s shoulder. He shifted under the blonde. “We should make out.”

Evan nipped at the pale teen’s ear. “I’m gonna mess up your hair,” he warned.

Connor growled low in his chest and pushed the other teen off his lap and onto the bed. “I think my talented, cute boyfriend needs a reward,” he purred and grabbed Evan’s waist. He pulled the boy closer and moved over the blonde. “Now,” Connor whispered and trailed a hand on Evan’s thigh, “what does he want?”

Evan licked his lips and shuddered. He wrapped his legs around Connor’s waist.  “T-there’s a lot of things I want,” he whispered and ran his hand up Connor’s arm. “I’ll settle for a kiss, though,” the blonde teased.

Connor gave the boy a light peck before rubbing the hem of Evan’s shirt. “Can I take this off?” he asked, letting his fingers play with the soft skin underneath.

The blonde whined at the feeling. He nodded and helped Connor take off his top. Pale hands began to rub his sides and squeeze the fat there. “Connor?” Evan whimpered.

The pale teen merely smiled at the blushing boy. “You’re so cute, Evangreen.” He moved to bite and kiss at the blonde’s skin. Connor loved that Evan was healthy, the boy wasn’t skin and bones like he was. Teeth nipped at the flesh and sucked. His lips trailed higher up the quivering body.

Evan’s back arched when lips closed around his nipple. He moaned and fought the urge to grab Connor’s hair. Evan’s fingers gripped at the brunette’s jacket instead. “Connor…feels good.” Evan gasped as Connor began to grind against him. The blonde tightened his legs around the other boy. Evan could feel Connor through the beat up jeans the brunette wore and he bet Connor could feel him too.

The pale teen moved off the boy’s chest and went to nip at the blonde’s ear. “Evan,” he groaned. The friction was teasing at best and wasn’t enough for either of them. “Can I take them off?” he asked, fingers dancing on Evan’s zipper.

The blonde nodded and sighed when the front of his pants were opened. His legs were moved as the khakis were pulled off of him. Evan reached out and tugged at the other boy’s jacket. “Off,” he ordered before adding a quiet, “please.”

Connor sat back, taking off his jacket and shirt. He unzipped his jeans and paused, trying to read Evan’s face.

The blonde pouted. “Take it off,” he whined.

Connor smiled and stripped, throwing his clothes on the floor. He got up and locked the bedroom door. “Just in case,” he mumbled and turned back to the blonde. Connor moved between Evan’s legs. “What are you comfortable with?” he asked, hands running over the plush thighs.

Evan’s faced reddened. Hundreds of scenarios flashed through his mind, none of them chaste. He settled on, “Something quick.”

Connor nodded. Heidi would be home in an hour or so. “Where’s your lube?”

Evan squeaked but gestured to his nightstand.

Connor chuckled. “I really didn’t think you would have anything,” he grabbed the bottle from the drawer, “so full of surprises, Evangreen.” He squirted some lube onto his hand. The bottle was then dropped on the floor.

“I _am_ a teenage boy,” the blonde grumbled, cheeks hot. All thoughts were forgotten when Connor pressed against him. The brunette’s skin brought a new layer of heat that made Evan feel like he was on fire. The blonde shuddered when Connor’s cock brushed against his. He let out a soft mewl when a chilled hand wrapped around both their dicks.

“This okay?” Connor whispered, a flush spreading across his face.

Evan bucked into the teasing hand. “Please,” he whimpered.

Connor nodded and moved his hand around both of them. “Fuck,” he hissed and leaned down to nibble at Evan’s chest. He sucked and bit at the supple flesh leaving purple marks in his wake. Connor didn’t know why the marks gave him such a power trip. From the way Evan was moaning though, it seemed the blonde liked it too. He took one of the perked nipples between his teeth and twirled around it with his tongue. That got a reaction. Evan let out a loud moan and Connor felt nails rake up his back.

The blonde was shaking, hips moving with the quickening strokes. “Yes, Connor, Connor!” Evan felt a fire spread within him. This was good, this was so good. His back arched as his breath quickened.

Connor groaned and pulled off the teen’s chest. He moved to bite at Evan’s neck, trying hard not to leave marks. His hand squeezed them, making both boys shiver. “Close,” he warned, “I’m so fucking close.” A high pitched whimper was the blonde’s only reply. “Fuck, fuck, shit!” Connor bit Evan’s shoulder.

The blonde’s eyes widened. “Connor!” he screamed and felt his body convulse. Evan shuddered and shook as an orgasm ripped through him. He cried, Connor’s hand was moving furiously until a loud moan flooded his ears. Evan listened to Connor’s gasping breath and tried not to get hard again. He felt overstimulated and tired. His head lolled onto the pillow and his eyes closed. He needed to control his breathing. It felt like he was going to hyperventilate.

The brunette slowly sat up and saw the mess on Evan’s stomach. He groaned and got off the bed. “Wait here,” he said and opened the door. The house was silent, he figured Heidi wasn’t home yet. He went to the bathroom and washed his hands clean before grabbing a washcloth and running it under some warm water. He rung it out and went back to Evan.

The blonde was still on the bed, still in the afterglow of his orgasm. He squeaked when something wet touched him. Connor was cleaning him up. “I-I can do it,” he stuttered out and tried to grab the cloth. Connor’s hand gently pushed his aside.

“Let me.”

Evan laid back. This was one of Connor’s romantic quirks. Evan blushed but let the brunette continue with cleaning him. He rewarded the boy by pulling him into a sweet kiss. “Thank you,” Evan whispered and moved to put on his clothes. He watched Connor get dressed. Connor was gorgeous, but looked malnourished. Evan frowned, he could see the outline of the other boy’s ribs. The brunette was thin, almost worryingly so. Evan thought he was overreacting, some people were just tiny. His mind then went back to the dinner he had, had at the Murphy’s. Did Connor eat at home? The question was a bit worrying.

“You okay?”

Evan broke from his daze. “I’m fine,” he said, voice cracking.

Connor laughed at the sound. He sat next to Evan. “How fucked up is my hair?” he asked.

Evan looked and was surprised, “It really didn’t get that messed up.” He fixed a few loose strands. “There we go!” Evan twirled a curled strand around his finger. “I might grow my hair out, maybe a little passed my ears.”

Connor smiled, “As long as I can stick some flowers in it.”

 

* * *

 

 

The dinner passed with a lot of gushing over Connor’s hair and Evan’s face being constantly red. “Mom, please stop,” the blonde begged. He could feel his ears burning.

“You did such a good job though!” Heidi beamed. She finished off her pasta and saw how a smile was plastered on Evan’s face. “He used to do my hair when he was little,” she told Connor.

“Really?” the pale teen said and nudged Evan. He saw the blush on his boyfriend’s face. Connor rested a hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “It really is cool. Also, I was right, Zoe wants you to do her hair for homecoming.” He set his fork on his empty plate. The brunette had realized that Evan had been watching him eat all night. He’d bring it up later.

“Connor, could you help me with the dishes?” Heidi asked.

“I can do it, mom,” Evan piped up.

Heidi’s green eyes narrowed at her son. “Did you finish your letter?”

Evan’s eyes widened. He sputtered before shooting up from his chair. “I’ll be right back,” the blonde said and ran up the stair. “Don’t say anything weird!” he begged.

Heidi laughed and picked up her and Evan’s plates. Connor followed her into the kitchen and rested his in the sink. “I wash, you dry?” Heidi offered.

Connor nodded. He couldn’t remember the last time he did dishes with someone. He guessed he was probably around twelve. It had been thanksgiving. Connor frowned, that was the day he came out to his family. The pale teen shook his head. He didn’t want to remember, he was happy right now and he wanted to keep it that way.

“Connor?”

The motherly voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t be,” Heidi placed a hand on his shoulder. “Evan gets like that sometimes. He’ll lose himself in his thoughts and need someone to pull him out.” She washed off the plate and sighed. “Did he really hit Jared?”

Connor took the plate and began to dry it. He nodded, “Yeah. It was an accident though. My sister saw the whole thing.” The brunette began to dry the plate. “Evan wouldn’t hurt a fly.”  Connor felt a tug at his heart, “I’m not corrupting him or anything.”

Heidi paused her washing. She looked at Connor’s hurt face. Her eyes widened, “Oh, honey.” She let the dish fall into the sink. Her arms wrapped around the thin boy. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re not some evil corrupting force. I know Evan wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose.” Heidi pulled back and rubbed the teen’s cheeks. “You’re a sweet boy, Connor. You’ve really helped my Evan.”

Connor gave her a sad smile, “Yeah, he’s… he’s helped me too.”

Heidi took the teen’s trembling hands. “Connor,” she looked into those sad blue eyes, “You will always have a home here.”

Connor sucked in a breath and tried not to cry. He couldn’t cry, not right now. The pale teen bit his quivering lip and nodded. He was pulled into another embrace. The brunette sniffled and moved to wipe at his eyes. “Thank you, Heidi.”

Rushing footsteps made the two pull apart. Evan came down the stairs, face flushed. “I did it,” he noticed the two and Connor’s teary eyes, “Mom!”

Heidi chuckled and went back to washing the dishes. “To two go upstairs and go to bed, you both have school.”

She gave Connor a final smile before resuming her task.

The brunette realized something, the Hansens gave great hugs.   

 

* * *

 

 

Connor got under the covers, Evan next to him.

“My mom didn’t say anything weird, did she?” the blonde asked, concern in his voice.

The pale teen shook his head. “No, she was really nice. Told me that she was happy we are dating, stuff like that.” He looked at the other teen. Evan was much too far for his liking. “Come here,” he urged, arms wide open.

Evan scooted closer and snuggled into the embrace. They laid there for a while before a question popped into Evan’s head. “Will you drive me to school tomorrow?” he asked with a yawn.

Connor sleepily replied, “I’ll drive you to school forever.”

Evan giggled and relaxed. Tomorrow would be shit but he’d have Connor, and that was enough.


	10. Brown Eyes & I Love You's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm surprised how many people like this

Evan and Connor slowly made their way into the school. Neither one let go of the other’s hand as they moved through the halls. They were met with some whispers and curious glances but everyone stayed relatively away. Most people had gotten used to the fact that they were dating but some were still in shock. It had been five days since the ‘fight’ and Evan hadn’t seen heads or tails of Jared. He wondered if the other teen was okay but his fears were always quelled by Connor.

“He’s probably ignoring you. Thinks you’ll come crawling back,” the brunette had said.  

Jared’s disappearance wasn’t the only thing Evan had noticed. There had been a new pair of eyes on him. Those brown pools made his skin crawl. For the last three days, Evan had noticed the boy had been stalking and staring at Connor and him. The other teen’s brown eyes always seemed to be judging him, sizing him up. He also noticed that whenever those brown eyes landed on Connor, they seemed to soften. Evan would always grip onto Connor tighter or pulled his boyfriend into a conversation. After two days of having Connor focus solely on him, the blonde realized something.

He was jealous.

They went to Evan’s locker and chatted a bit. Evan felt it. Those brown eyes were on them again. Evan frowned and glared at the boy, who in turn glared back. This kid wanted Connor, Evan could tell. He growled, no way was he giving up _his_ boyfriend.

“You okay?” Connor asked and looked in the direction Evan was. He grimaced. “Why me,” he whined to himself. The brunette turned his boyfriend’s head. “Hey, ignore him,” Connor ordered.

The blonde looked up at him, eyes narrowed. “Who is he?” Evan hissed.

Connor’s eyes widened at the tone. He sighed, “No one important. Just ignore him.” The brunette felt Luke’s eyes burning holes in his head. Why right now? He did not fucking need this right now. Why couldn’t the universe stop fucking him?! He glared at the offending boy. Those fucking brown eyes were still locked on them. Connor knew Luke wouldn’t leave without a little prompting. The brunette flipped the staring boy off as he pulled Evan into a kiss. The blonde stiffened in his arms before melting. He made a show of it, hugging Evan close, getting lost as their mouths melded. The brunette felt the annoying stare leave. Connor pulled away and, sure enough, Luke was gone. He smiled and finally saw the anger on Evan’s face.

“We are in the hallway. Why’d you do that?! Who was that guy?!” Evan growled. His face was burning, both from embarrassment and rage.

Connor sighed, “I’ll tell you after school, okay?” His frown deepened, “Just… it’s a long story that I don’t want to talk about while we’re here.”

Evan pouted but nodded. “Alright, but once we get to my house, I want answers.” The blonde pulled out his books and made his way to class. Alone.

Connor groaned. Why did his past have to come back and bite him?

 

* * *

 

 

Evan was fuming. He was walking around the school courtyard. He didn’t want to see Connor, couldn’t trust himself not to pry for answers. He also didn’t want to see that boy again, couldn’t trust himself not to confront the asshole who had been stalking him. Evan paced around, over analyzing and over thinking every detail.

Why was Connor not telling him? Was that guy his Ex? Did Connor just want to make him jealous by dating Evan? Did Connor want to make Evan jealous? Did Connor owe the guy money? Why was he following them?

“Hey Evan.”

The blonde whipped around and saw Jared. He was both shocked and elated. “Jared!” he beamed before remembering their fight. “Are…are you okay?” he asked timidly. Evan took an even step toward the other, wondering how the other would react.

Jared shrugged and moved closer to Evan. “I’m all healed and um…” He ran a hand through his hair. “I guess…” The boy growled, “Was I really a shitty friend?!”

Evan’s eyes widened but he sheepishly nodded. “You… you have been.”

Jared seemed to deflate under the words. He sighed, “I know. I know I have been.” He looked hurt, “I just… I fucking suck at apologizing. How do you manage to say sorry all the time?!” Jared sighed, “I talked to Connor. He…he told me about the whole car insurance thing. I was just kidding when I said that.”

Evan simply stood there and listened.

Jared continued, “I mean, it was a dick thing to do but I was always joking when I said it. I… I didn’t know you took it literally.”

“How could I not?” Evan asked, a lump in his throat.

Jared felt his own lip quiver. “You’re my best friend Evan.”

The blonde’s eyes went wide. “Jared,” he said, pure emotion in his voice.

The other teen opened his arms, “Hug?”

Evan felt a tear run down his cheek but he smiled. He hugged the other boy. “I’m sorry I hit you,” he whispered.  

Jared held Evan tighter. “I’m sorry I was a dick,” he pulled back and smiled. “So, friends?”

Evan nodded. “Yea, friends.”

 

* * *

 

 

The drive back to Evan’s house was laced with tension. Hell, their shared last period was tense. Evan had been in a good mood because of Jared, but that didn’t mean he’d forgotten about the talk they were going to have. They climbed out of the car and went up to Evan’s room. The blonde sat down and glared at his boyfriend. “Alright, spill it. Now.”

Connor gave a sad laugh, “Jealousy makes you demanding, huh?” The brunette kicked off his shoes and sat beside Evan. “You know you won’t like the answer, right?”

Evan frowned. What the hell was he hiding? “Please just tell me,” the blonde begged. He could feel his leg bouncing as anticipation weighed heavy on him.  

Connor sighed. “Alright,” better to rip the Band-Aid off fast, “I used to fuck him for drugs.” The brunette braced for impacted. Evan, per usual, didn’t react how Connor predicted.  

The blonde’s eyes widened. “Oh,” was his only response. He hadn’t expected that, kind of expected it but not in this context. His eyes narrowed though, “Have you?”

“No!” Connor said firmly. “I haven’t for, like, two months. He’s total dick and…” the brunette ran his hand through his hair, “I just… weed helps me forget and he had weed and he wanted sex for it. That was all it was. A fucked up trade, I guess.” He saw the puzzled expression, “He started getting…weird, so I found a dealer that took money. He tried to contact me for a while but then he disappeared. I don’t why the hell he’s showing up now.” The brunette stared at the floor, “I’m not proud of it, Evan.”

The blonde swallowed a lump in his throat. “Did you like him?”

Connor grimaced, “Hell no! Luke’s a douche. I just wanted drugs.”

“And you haven’t done anything with him since we got together?” Evan confirmed.

Connor growled, “No.”

 The blonde wrung his wrists. His leg bounced as he chose his words carefully. “I’m not…mad at you. I just.” Evan yelled in frustration, “I hate how he looks at you! You’re my boyfriend and I hate how he ogles you while I’m right there!” He could feel his breath quickening at an alarming rate. “Iwanttopunchhimintheface!”

Connor placed a hand on the other’s shoulder. “Evan, calm down.” He turned the blonde’s head to face him. Connor cupped the tanned boy’s plush cheek. Evan’s face was red and a deep pout was on his lips. Connor wanted to kiss those downturned lips. His mood went from angry to horny real quick.  “You’re so fucking cute when you’re jealous.”

Evan slowly smiled. “I’m sorry,” he balled his fists and tried to stop shaking. “I-I don’t want to share you.”

Connor chuckled, “Trust me, you’ll never have to.” He finally kissed the boy. Shaky hands tangled into his hair. Connor groaned and grabbed at the blonde’s hips.

Evan moaned and climbed into Connor’s lap. He pulled away from the hot mouth to bite and nip at the other’s jaw. “I want to mark you up. I want _him_ and everyone else to know you’re mine.”

Connor growled, “Now you know how I feel.” He pulled off Evan’s shirt, careful with his cast. The brunette then lifted his arms so Evan could take off his tee. Connor latched onto a patch of skin in front of him. Evan moaned. Arms wrapped around his head as he bit and nipped at the tanned skin.

Evan growled and pushed Connor down. “I’m marking you.” He said and descended on the pale flesh.

Connor gasped and firm lips pressed kisses on his skin before teeth sunk in. “Fuck…Evan,” he moaned. That persistent mouth sucked on his neck, probably leaving dark purple bruises. Connor let his nails rake down the blonde’s back.

Evan panted and straddled the brunette’s waist. He ground down on Connor. Both teen’s moaned. “You’re mine,” he whispered to himself, “Only mine.”  

Connor flipped them over. He bit at Evan’s chest and neck. “Yours,” he whispered hotly into the blonde’s ear. The pair became lost in their frenzy, marking each other’s skin as their own and kissing each other’s lips.

“Fuck me, Connor,” Evan moaned. Pale hands spread his thighs and hips came in contact with his once more. He wrapped his legs around Connor’s waist.

The brunette dug into Evan’s nightstand for the bottle of lube.

“Evan, is Connor staying for dinner?” Heidi saw the boys on the bed and screamed, “Ah! I’m so sorry!”

“MOM!” Evan cried in utter embarrassment.

Heidi covered her eyes. Attentively she asked, “Are you boys being safe? Do you need condoms?”

“Get out!” Evan screeched in horror.

“There’s a pizza on the table for you two, night.” Heidi shut the door and ran out of the house. She made it to her car before releasing a roar of laughter.

Evan covered his face. He wanted to die. Oh, he wanted to curl up into a ball and die.

Connor busted out laughing. “Oh my god! Your mom offered to buy us condoms!” He felt tears running down his face. “I can’t breathe!”

Evan screamed behind his hands, “Why, why me?!” The blonde sat up and winced. His neck and chest hurt. Connor was still laughing on his bed. Evan realized that they had almost had sex. They had almost just fucked in his bed. Jesus Christ. “I’m going to take a shower,” Evan blurted out.

The brunette sucked in a deep breath. “Aw, don’t leave yet. You have to admit, that was really funny.”

Evan bit his lip. With his back to Connor, he whispered, “I never said you couldn’t join me.”

Connor’s eyes widened. He shot up, “Really?”

Evan nodded before leaving the room. He could hear Connor following. The blonde whimpered. Connor actually wanted to shower with him! Evan flipped on the light and went to turn on the faucet. He could hear Connor shucking off his pants. Evan looked back and his breath caught in his throat. “Oh Connor, I’m so sorry!” The brunette’s neck and upper chest were covered in dark bruises and teeth indents.

Connor looked in the mirror. “Geez, Evangreen. When you said mark, you really meant mark!” He gave Evan a wink, “I’ll wear them with pride.”

The blonde looked in the mirror as well. “Connor!” he cried as he saw all the bruises on his neck. “I’m going to have to wear a turtleneck for weeks. My mom-”

“Already knows and so does most of the school,” Connor cut in. He licked his lips, “I wouldn’t mind leaving a few more.”

Evan shuddered, “What’s up with you and biting?”

Connor gave him a sultry smile, “Your skin makes my teeth itch.”

Evan gave him a puzzled look, “That’s weird, Connor.”

The brunette shrugged but didn’t deny it.

Evan moved to turn on the shower head. He bent over a bit and gasped when Connor slapped his ass. “Connor Murphy!”

Said teen laughed and threw up his hands. “I have no regrets!”

Evan grabbed the hand towel off the sink and whacked Connor with it. They both laughed and went into the shower. Their lips met and hands explored as they stood under the cascading water.

 

* * *

 

 

The pair sat on the couch and ate dinner. Evan giggled when Hei Hei freaked out.

“You really like Disney,” Connor teased, “don’t you princess?”

Evan gasped, “I am a queen, thank you!” He huffed and took a bite of his pizza.

Connor rolled his eyes, “I’m sorry your majesty.”

Evan beamed and planted a kiss on the brunette’s cheek. “You are forgiven,” he said and curled up against Connor’s side.

The two finished off the pizza and ended up tangled on the couch. Connor hummed as Evan ran fingers through his hair. He could feel himself falling asleep. “Your hands are magical,” he slurred and listened to his boyfriend’s heartbeat.

Evan beamed and kissed the top of Connor’s head. The blonde snuggled closer to the other. “You’re magical,” he replied sleepily.

Connor chuckled, “Dork.” He groaned, “We should go to bed, but I don’t want to get up.”

Evan whined, “Same.”

They slowly slunk off the couch and stumbled up the stairs to Evan’s room. Connor climbed in the bed and took his place near the wall. He pulled Evan against him. “I love you,” he mumbled, half asleep.

The blonde’s eyes widened in shock. He blushed and snuggled into Connor’s chest. “Love you too,” he whispered into his boyfriend’s t-shirt.


	11. Every Month or Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Comments fuel me so please leave one

Monday rolled around and so did school. The morning was beautiful and sunshine flooded the room. Connor sat up and he felt it.

It was going to be one of those days.

It was like getting mentally hit with a brick and a weight falling on his heart. The teen didn’t want to get out of bed, didn’t want to see anyone. The world around him seemed to dim. The sunshine seemed to mock him with its golden glow.

He wanted to scream. He’d been doing so well. He hadn’t had an episode in almost a month. He was happy! Why was his brain doing this?!

Connor felt the urge to cry and break things wash over him. He wanted to. He wanted to destroy everything until it was just as broken as he was. The teen sat up and tried to calm down. “Think of something happy. Think of-”

Evan.

Connor smiled. He sucked in a breath and grabbed his phone. The ring made him more nervous by the second.

“Hello?”

Connor beamed. He loved that voice. “I’m not going to school today.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. Evan whimpered, “Are…are you okay?”

Connor frowned, no point in lying. “No, I’m not. I just…” The brunette quickly asked, “I really want to cuddle and watch Disney movies. Can I come over?”

Evan immediately answered, “Yes.”

The brunette got up and threw on some clothes before going down the stairs.

Zoe’s eyes locked on Connor. She frowned. “It’s one of those days, isn’t it?”

Connor nodded. “I’m going over to Evan’s,” he grabbed a pop tart even though he wasn’t hungry. He hadn’t eaten anything the night before. Connor frowned, he could practically see Evan’s concerned face. He needed to eat.

Zoe nodded, “Alana will give me a ride.” She saw how much Connor had changed overnight. He had been all smiles when they were in her room. They had painted each other’s nails and chatted about Evan and Alana. Connor had given her advice about asking the beautiful girl to homecoming. Zoe frowned, “Is something wrong?”

Connor felt his eyes begin to water. “No, I’m fine,” his voice cracked. “I hate it. I fucking hate this. Nothing was fucking wrong!” He threw his pop tart. “I was okay, I was totally okay!” Connor grabbed at his hair and held back his tears. He wouldn’t cry, not here, not right now. He knew Larry was in the house and he wouldn’t give that bastard any satisfaction. “I just…”

Zoe jumped up and went to stand beside her brother. She didn’t know what he needed. Zoe did know that she wanted to comfort him. “Why don’t you stay home, I’ll stay with you and-”

“No,” Connor cut in, he did not want to be in this house. No way was he going to listen to his parents fighting, not again, and sure as hell not with him like this. He needed to leave before Larry came to check on them. He needed to go somewhere safe. He needed… “I just…I just need to go see Evan.”

Zoe frowned, “You can’t make him your sole crutch.”

Connor glared at her, “Shut the fuck up, Zoe!” He stormed out of the house. The brunette wiped at his eyes. He knew Zoe was right. He knew Evan had his own problems. Connor growled, he could be selfish. For today, he would be selfish.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan threw on some comfy clothes. He gave his mother a quick text and prayed her response would be supportive. He wasn’t surprised when it was.

Evan fished out all his Disney movies and made some hot chocolate. He was used to doing this, not just for himself but for his mom as well. She’d have bad days and Evan would try to cheer her up. Some hot coco and some hours of venting normally did the trick. Evan wished he could cheer up as easily as his mother did. He wished it was as simple as she made it look.

 A knock at the door made Evan suck in a breath. He went to answer it and saw Connor standing there. Hair in disarray and a melancholy face.

Connor stood in the doorway. He could feel Evan’s eyes on him, examining him. He must look terrible. God why was he so fucking terrible?! Why couldn’t he just be fucking normal for once?! He bit his lip and tried not to fall apart. He at least didn’t want to do it outside.

Evan placed a hand on the brunette’s cheek. He looked into the boy’s stormy eyes. “Connor,” the blonde whispered. He pulled the other into his house. Evan closed the door and led his boyfriend to the couch. “Wait here,” he said and went to grab the hot chocolate.

Connor slipped off his shoes and socks. The cold hardwood helped to ground him. He tried to breathe.

“Did anything-”

“No,” Connor said quickly. “Nothing…nothing happened.”

Evan nodded and didn’t pry. He held a mug out to the other teen. “It has marshmallows,” he said sheepishly.

Connor chuckled and took the drink. “Thank you, Evan.”

The blonde sat close to him. “I’m your boyfriend, it’s my job.” He looked at how stiff Connor was. “Can I touch you?”

The brunette mulled it over. Any contact would probably make him burst into tear. He set the cup down. Connor saw the worry in Evan’s eyes. He nodded. The blonde slowly wrapped his arms around him. Connor sucked in a shaky breath and finally broke down.

Evan pulled Connor to his chest and ran his fingers through his hair. He placed a kiss on the soft locks. “I love you,” Evan whispered and felt how Connor’s arms wrapped around him in a vice. His shirt was getting damp from Connor’s tears. “What do you need?” he asked.

Connor gave him a sad laugh, “Besides pills and a shrink?” He hiccupped and pressed his ear against Evan’s chest. He listened to the muffled heartbeat and felt himself relax a bit. “You,” he answered, “I just need you right now.”

Evan moved them so they were laying on the couch together. “I have Beauty and the Beast in the player, is that okay?”

Connor nodded and watched Evan wiggle an arm out and grab the remote. He watched the movie start up. “Is this the new one?”

Evan nodded, “Yeah.”

“You just have a crush on Emma Watson,” Connor teased through tears.

“Don’t diss Hermione,” Evan bit back and playfully tugged the brunette’s hair.

“Don’t,” Connor said swatting at the boy’s hand, “That’s a kink.”

Evan sputtered and moved his hands to Connor’s back. He could feel the brunette’s smile against his shirt. They laid there, listening to the music and lazily touching each other. Evan’s fingers danced along Connor’s back and Connor’s hand found its way into Evan’s casted one.

When the credits began to roll. Evan saw that Connor was asleep on him. He smiled and saw the circles under the teen’s eyes. They had gotten better, lighter than when Evan first met him. Evan moved Connor’s sleeve and saw there were no new cuts. He looked at the other one and saw the same thing. Evan sighed in relief. The blonde wondered what he could do for Connor. It wasn’t like the police could make the Murphys get Connor help. Evan didn’t know what to do. He wanted to make Connor better. He had no idea how though. He wasn’t a therapist. Hell, he was in therapy!

Evan was just as broken. There was no way he could fix himself and Connor. The blonde looked at the boy who was sleeping on his chest. He could do this at least. Connor had helped him with panic attacks. Jesus, Connor had done a lot for him unconsciously. Evan could do this with Connor every month or two. Lay with him and console him, lull him back into normalcy. Whatever normalcy was for them.

He looked over at the clock and saw that it was almost eleven. The blonde sighed and let himself get lost in Connor’s warmth. They could both use a nap.

 

* * *

 

 

Blue eyes cracked opened and blinked out sleep. Connor groaned and sat up, careful not to crush Evan more than he probably had. He stretched his stiff limbs and notice his sleeves were all messed up. His face was flushed and Evan’s heat seemed to linger on him.  He grumbled and pulled off his jacket. Connor saw how Evan shuddered. Poor thing was probably shocked by the change in temperature. He smiled and covered the teen with his jacket.

Now that his mind was clear, guilt weighed heavy on him. He had made Evan miss school. He’d been a dick to Zoe, who probably told their mom. He probably made his mom cry. Connor pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Zoe, snapping a picture of Evan sleeping with his jacket. He laughed at the response.

 **Zoe** : _You’re only forgiven because Evan is adorable!_

 **Connor** : _I know_

He pocketed his phone and went to the kitchen. Connor couldn’t remember the last time he had drank some water. He was probably dehydrated, especially after all the crying he had done. The brunette remembered to get water from the pitcher in the fridge. He remembered the horrified look Evan gave him when he had drunk out of the tap. Connor chuckled and down his glass. The brunette poured himself another. He could hear shuffling in the other room. A couple minutes later, Evan shuffled in wearing Connor’s jacket.

“Hey,” the blonde said sleepily. He walked over to his boyfriend and rested his head on the bony shoulder.

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep,” Connor whispered and kissed Evan’s forehead. He moved to kiss him fully but Evan turned his head. “What’s wrong?”

The blonde shifted a bit before muttering, “My breath stinks.”

Connor let out a snort. He watched as Evan’s face turned a beet red.

“It’s not funny!” the blonde insisted and tugged at the jacket’s sleeves that were a bit too long on him.

“It’s not funny, it’s just cute.” Connor handed him his glass of water, “Here, drink.”

Evan took a tentative sip. “Did you just poison me?” he teased.

Connor smiled, “No, but that should take care of your breath worries.” He pulled the blonde into a kiss. The brunette backed Evan against the fridge and ran his hands along the teen’s sides. “I really like you in my clothes,” he said between kisses.

Evan smiled mischievously, “I like you without them.”

Connor growled and claimed those teasing lips. “Don’t rile me up, Hansen,” he bit at Evan’s neck. The blonde was practically vibrating against him. Connor loved that Evan was in pj bottoms, he could grab his ass with barely any barrier. His lips trailed down the tanned neck. He nipped and sucked at any skin he could find.

“Fuck,” Evan gasped. He grabbed at Connor’s hair.

“What do you want?” the brunette asked. He nipped at Evan’s ear and ground against the blonde’s erection.

Evan gasped and growled, “Suck my dick.”

Connor’s eyes widened. Well then.

Evan was mortified by what had slipped out of his mouth. “I-I didn’t…” He watched as Connor slipped onto his knees. “Wait!” Evan shuddered as a firm hand rubbed his through the thin material he wore. “You…you don’t,” he moaned loudly, “have to.”

Connor chuckled, “I know.” He tugged down Evan’s pants and saw how hard the other teen was. “Geez, Evangreen,” he whispered.

Even could feel Connor’s breath ghosting over his cock. “Please,” he plead, knees shaking.

The brunette decided that he loved hearing Evan beg. Connor licked the underside of the blonde’s length. He felt how Evan shivered against him. Connor grabbed one of the plush thighs. He engulfed Evan’s length, hearing the loud gasp his actions drew. Hands tugged at his hair and caused him to growl.

Evan felt like his legs were going to give out. His head hit the fridge as his back arched. “So good, fuck, yes!” he moaned loudly. “I love your mouth,” his fingers gripped at the brown locks. “God, I love your fucking mouth!” He tugged at the tresses and let his eyes wander downward. Sky blue eyes were staring back at him. His knees buckled from the site. “Fuck,” he hissed.

Connor grabbed two handfuls of Evan’s plush ass. He hollowed out his cheeks and sucked on Evan’s hard cock. Connor watched as Evan’s eyes rolled back and a shudder ran through the other teen’s body. He pulled off the cock and wet two of his fingers before going back to giving Evan head.

The blonde gasped as a finger circled his entrance. He cried out as a fingertip entered him. “Connor!” Evan screamed as the thin digit sunk into him. He didn’t know which feeling to chase.

Connor groaned and felt Evan shake against him. He pulled one of the blonde’s legs over his shoulder. His finger could get deeper into the boy.

Evan felt like he was going to fall apart at the seams.

Connor pressed another finger into the other.

Evan shook his head in shock. “No, wait, Fuck!” His tongue lolled out as a new feeling of fullness spread through him. “Oh God, oh God!”

Connor searched for the one thing he knew would send his lover over the edge. He smiled around his cock and shoved his fingers into the spot.

Evan screamed and curled in on himself as pleasure shot through his body like electricity.  “Connor!” he shrieked and went limp against the fridge. He slid down the appliance and onto the floor.

Connor slipped off the softening cock and pulled his fingers out. He licked his lips and swallowed the load he received.

Evan could feel his legs shaking from the force of his orgasm. “What, what was that?” he asked in disbelief.

Connor chuckled, “It’s called a prostate and a blow job, you virgin.” He stood up and washed his hands in the sink. “That’s the first time I’ve ever given a blowjob while sober.”

Evan decided to focus on breathing instead of the comment. He really needed to study up on sex stuff.

Connor extended his hand. “Here, let’s go take a shower.”

Evan gave him a dreamy smile and took his hand. He couldn’t fix Connor, but he could definitely do this every month or two.


	12. Scars and Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There's talk of self-harm in this chapter. I've actually been a self-harmer and have friends who have harmed, so some of this is a bit personal.

Evan laced his fingers with Connor’s as they walked into the school. No one stared, nor was anyone surprised anymore. Evan smiled, life went on. The pair made their way to Evan’s locker, like they did most mornings.

“When do you get your cast off?” Connor asked and leaned against a locker.

Evan rolled his eyes, “Friday. You continuously asking isn’t going to make it come off faster.” He frowned when Connor took his books. “I can carry them,” he muttered with a blush.

The brunette smiled, “I know but I’m not risking you hurting your arm again.” He leaned down and kissed Evan’s cheek. “I want to have some fun this weekend,” Connor said with a wink.

Evan felt his face redden even more. He bit his lip, “Me too.”

“Ew, that’s gay.”

Connor glared at Jared, “What do you want, Kleinman?”

Jared rolled his eyes, “Evan and I are friends again, so don’t start with the over protective boyfriend thing.” He looked at Connor up and down. “Aw, you’re carrying your prince’s books.”

Evan sputtered and mumbled to himself.

The brunette smiled and kissed Evan’s cheek again, “You’re damn right I am.”

Jared clutched his stomach and pretended to gag. “Oh god, I’m choking on your schmaltz.” He laughed as Evan whacked him with a binder. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry! Geez.”

Evan gasped as Connor slapped his butt.

“Good one, Evangreen.”

The blonde giggled and playfully punched Connor. “Cut it out. I don’t need both of you teasing me,” Evan slung his backpack over his shoulder. “Come on, let’s go to class.”

“Evan!”

All three boys whipped around to see Zoe frantically running down the hall. She had on an out of place beanie. “Evan, I need you help!” she said, tugging at the blonde.

Connor’s eyes narrowed, “Is that mine?”

Zoe cringed, “It was an emergency!”

“What’s wrong?” Evan asked before Connor could snap at her.

Zoe whined, “I want to ask Alana to homecoming today but I woke up late and didn’t have time to do my hair. Please Evan, I’ll pay you, just please do it. I can’t ask her while looking like this!”

“What’s wrong with beanies?” Connor mumbled.

Zoe heard him and rolled her eyes, “Stop getting offended. They don’t work for me or this outfit!” She gestured to her sky blue jeans and light pink top.

Evan didn’t really see a problem in her appearance but he did want to help. “Do you have a brush?”

Zoe’s face broke into a smile and she nodded, “We can use the library.” She pulled the blonde with her down the hall.

“Hey!” Connor yelled.

“I’ll bring him back!” Zoe screamed and raced with a stumbling Evan behind her.

 

* * *

 

 

                “Evan, you are a miracle worker,” Zoe said as she examined the braid. She smiled, “You sure you don’t want to do hair for a living?”

Evan beamed, “I-I’m not that good. My mom taught me how.” He stepped back and let Zoe stand. She wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you,” she said in utter joy and looked at the clock. “Oh shit, class it about to start. Let’s go!”

Evan looked at the clock as well. “You’re right, come on!” The pair gathered their things and ran out of the library.

“Thanks again, Evan!” Zoe said as she headed in the opposite direction.

The blonde beamed and made it to first period just in time. Connor was there with his books. “Nice timing, Evangreen.”

 

* * *

 

 

Eating lunch with Jared was always a chore, which was why he mostly went to the library. Now however, he not only had a teasing best friend but he had a teasing boyfriend as well. They were also constantly antagonizing each other.

Jared threw a fry at Connor. He chuckled and said, “You’re pretty _fry_ for a white guy.”

Connor glared at the other teen, “Oh fuck you, Kleinman.” He threw some bread at the boy, “I wish you were comatoast.”

Evan groaned, “Guys, please. It’s painful.”

Jared shrugged, “It’s not my fault your boyfriend makes terrible puns.”

Connor nodded, “And it’s not my fault your friend is a piece of shit.”

“Oh fuck you!”

“Fuck you!”

“Girls, you’re both pretty!” Evan screamed, “Stop bickering.”

Both brunettes were shocked. The male Murphy recovered faster though. Connor smiled moved closer to Evan. “You think I’m pretty?” he asked in the boy’s ear.

Evan could feel his face heating up as Connor’s breath tickled his ear. “Please stop,” he squeaked.

Connor gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “You love me,” he said and took a bite of a fry.

“GAY!” Jared yelled. Connor gave him a swift kick under the table. “OW! Jesus Murphy, I was just stating the obvious.”

Evan sighed. They were back to fighting.

Zoe had also heard Jared’s yell and gave him a swift smack to the back of the head.

“I’m under attack by Murphys!”

Zoe rolled her eyes until they landed on Evan. She smiled, “Guess who has a date to Homecoming?”

Evan beamed, “Zoe, that’s wonderful!”

The female Murphy giggled excitedly, “I know right?! You have to do my hair again, please Evan.”

Connor chuckled, “I told you so.”

Evan lightly nudged him before turning back to Zoe. “I will,” he assured.

Zoe gave him a nervous laugh, “Also, I kind of told all my friends that you did my hair so you might be bombarded by girls tomorrow. Okay bye!” She quickly ran off to go join Alana at the far table.

Evan sat there, shell shocked. “What do you think she meant by that?”

Connor frowned, “I think you’re about to become a lot more popular.”

 

* * *

 

 

Evan used his free period to sit in the library. Connor wasn’t there yet so he decided to type his letter out. They were becoming easier and easier to write. He didn’t have to lie about his happiness anymore so being optimistic wasn’t too hard. The blond now sat at the computer searching ways to deal with people who have depression and self-harm. He knew about depression but the self-harm element was new to him.

He knew he couldn’t ‘cure’ Connor, but he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try to help him. Evan read about how it was like an addiction. He had no idea that it released endorphins and gave the person a sort of high. Evan frowned, he searched for how people could help those suffering.

_Don’t be judgmental_

_Ask them how they’re feeling_

_Don’t make them feel guilty_

_Give positive reinforcement went improvement is shown_

_Let them know you care_

Evan read through the list. He could do all of these. The blonde already knew that Connor hadn’t cut since they’d started dating. All he needed to do was encourage that behavior. He reread the list and wrote down the site so he could read more at home.

“Hey.”

Evan whipped around and saw a girl standing there. “Um, hi?” Evan quickly closed out of the browser. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her before. Why was she in the library? Who the hell was she? Was this one of Zoe’s friends?

The girl giggled, “You’re Evan, right?”

The blonde nodded, “Y-yeah?”

“Oh good! I’m Makenzie,” she sat next to him, a bit too close for Evan’s liking. “I was wondering if you could do my hair for homecoming. I’ll pay you. I saw what you did with Zoe’s.”

The blonde opened his mouth but only stutters came out, “I-I um…well-”

“Aw, Zoe was right, you are cute,” she placed a hand on his shoulder, “Do you have a date? I could go with you, just do my hair, okay?”

“He has a date,” Connor said, slapping the girl’s hand away. “and the only hair he’s doing is my sister’s and mine.”

Makenzie glared at Connor. “Oh really, I don’t see your name on him.”

“Bitch,” the brunette growled and showed her Evan’s cast.

Her eyes widened, looking between the two. She huffed and stalked out of the library.

Connor glared at her until she was gone. He then turned back to Evan. “You okay?”

The blonde’s mouth caught up with his brain, “Connor!” He looked at the direction the girl left then back at his boyfriend, “She just wanted me to do her hair!”

“And get in your pants,” the brunette growled.

Evan looked up at him, mouth agape. “What are you talking about?!”

“She was eye fucking you!”

“She just wanted to get her hair done!”

Connor bent down and grabbed the armrests of Evan’s chair. “You know how you felt when Luke was staring at me? That’s how I feel right now but worse because she fucking touched you.”

Evan shivered. All he could do was whisper a soft, “Oh.” He saw the anger in Connor’s blue eyes. Evan bit his lip. He pulled his boyfriend into a kiss.

Connor’s eyes widened before falling closed.

Evan pulled back and smiled. “F-feel any better?”

Connor gave him a wolfish grin and pulled his boyfriend up. “Come here,” he urged and pulled Evan behind the bookshelves.

The blonde giggled and followed Connor into the corner. The girl was quickly forgotten.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan smiled and listened to Connor’s voice slowly read to him. The day had been good and nothing was better than spending time with his boyfriend in the orchard. Evan snuggled closer to Connor as a breeze chilled him.

The brunette stopped reading and turned to Evan. “You cold?” he asked.

Evan shrugged, “A little.” He watched as Connor stripped off his jacket and handed it to him.

“Here,” the brunette said and covered Evan’s shoulders.

The blonde smiled and slipped on the garment. He really did like Connor’s jacket. It was a bit old, but it was Connor’s and that in itself was enough.

“How do you feel?” Connor asked.

Evan giggled, “I feel…teenage rebellion. I feel like smoking the drugs and driving really fast, which scares the shit out of my poor boyfriend and I should totally stop doing that.” He saw Connor’s unamused face.

“Give it back,” the brunette said and tugged at the jacket.

Evan laughed and held on tightly to the coat, “No! I’m actually cold, please.” He lightly swatted at the other and ended up on the ground with Connor at his side. The pair laughed as they wrestled for the jacket.

Connor resorted to tickling Evan, making the blonde scream, “That’s not fair!” The brunette playfully growled, “Let go of my jacket, Evangreen.”

“No!” the blonde said defiantly, “I’m a rebel and you can’t stop me!” Connor bit his neck. Evan gasped, “No! That’s a kink!” He swatted at Connor’s head.

The brunette burst out laughing and let his head rest on Evan’s shoulder.

The blonde wrapped his arms around Connor’s neck and laughed as well.

The pair slowly caught their breath and simply held each other. “I love you,” the brunette said and pecked at Evan’s lips.

Evan beamed, “I love you too, Connor.” His eyes widened, “Oh! When is Homecoming?”

Connor thought for a moment, “In October, at least, I think that’s what Zoe said.”

Evan swallowed and asked, “Could… could we go to Homecoming and Prom?”

Connor frowned, “I’m not doing a dumbass promposal.”

Evan giggled, “I don’t except you to!” He saw Connor smile as well. Evan trailed his hands down Connor’s arm and noticed the scars. There were no new ones and it made Evan’s heart swell with joy. He ran his fingers over the marks. “They’re healing well.”

Connor nodded, “Yeah, they are.”

Evan remembered what he had read about positive reinforcement. Reward progress and acknowledge accomplishments. He kissed the scarred wrist, “I’m proud of you.”

Connor felt his lip twitch. “Shut up, Evangreen.”

The blonde smiled and pulled Connor to his chest. “I love you. I’m happy I’m with you. I’m so lucky you came to apologize to me.” Evan felt hot tears against his chest. He rubbed Connor’s back and let himself relax under the brunette’s heat. The world seemed to slow around them as the sky turned a bright orange.

The day was ending and all was calm.


	13. Fairy Prince and Ghosts from the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: please read new tags

 

Once more, Connor and Evan walked into school together. The pair were idly chatting when they noticed a swarm of girls around Evan’s locker.

Connor pulled the blonde away, “Nope!”

Evan sputtered, “Connor! We can’t just run from them, and I need my books!” The blonde saw the confliction in his boyfriend’s blue eyes before he was released.

“Fine,” Connor grumbled and they went toward the hoard.

“There he is!” one of the girls shouted and then Evan was surrounded. Flurries of questions began to spill out.

“Will you do my hair?”

“Where’d you learn?”

“Who taught you?”

“Do you have a date to prom?”

“Can you do mine? I’ll pay you!”

A hand reached in the crowd and pulled Evan out.

“Single file and calm, or none of you bitches get shit!” Connor ordered, making the group fall silent.

Evan clung to his boyfriend’s side. “Thank you,” he mumbled into the beat-up jacket.

“You see why I wanted to run?” Connor teased, getting a playful swat from Evan. He looked at the confused girls. “He has a date to both prom and homecoming. He’ll do your hair, for a price. And if anyone tries to grab at him again my sister and I will kick your ass. Got it?”

The group nodded in unison.

Evan breathed a sigh of relief. He stuttered out, “T-ten bucks and I’ll do your hair.”

All of their faces seemed to brighten.

Evan smiled as well. “Follow me to the library, if you want your hair done this morning.” There were squeals as they followed Evan, confusing most passersby. Connor rolled his eyes and followed, someone needed to keep an eye on them.

 

* * *

 

 

And that was how Evan Hansen made a hundred dollars in one day.

The blonde looked through the crumpled tens again and got excited.

“Quit flaunting your wealth, Hansen,” Jared said and flicked a fry at the other. 

Evan wasn’t even mad. He continued to smile till a thought crossed his mind. “Hey, Jared,” he said to get the other’s attention. “Could you take me to the mall?”

Jared quirked an eyebrow. “You aren’t hanging with your homicidal hubby?”

Evan rolled his eyes, “Connor has a doctor’s appointment.” The blonde gave the other a sly grin, “I’ll give you twenty bucks.”

“Deal.”

 

* * *

 

 

Evan looked up at the variety of toys. He was in the back of Spencer’s with Jared snickering beside him. He looked at Jared in distress, “Help me.”

The brunette choked and busted out laughing. He wiped away a tear and pointed to a purple vibrator. “I like this one. It’s not too big, so you’ll still have surprises when you get with someone. Unless Connor has a mircopenis. Please tell me he has a micropenis.”

Evan’s face turned bright red. “Oh my fucking god. No, he doesn’t!” he groaned. “Why, why did I ask you!”

Hared beamed, “Cause, I’m your only friend who has toys.”

“You have more than one?!”

Jared rolled his eyes, “Oh, Evan, variety is the spice of life.”

Evan sputtered he grabbed Jared’s suggestion. “Here!”

The brunette chuckled. He thought for a moment, “You need lube? Cleaner?”

Evan looked a Jared in confusion. “Won’t water a soap work?”

Jared looked at him in distaste, “Grab some fucking cleaner.”

Evan grabbed some cleaner and handed it to Jared as well as his money. “Here.”

Jared quirked an eyebrow. “Lube?”

Evan shuffled a bit, “I-I have some.”

Jared laughed loudly.

“Shut up Jared!”

The brunette calmed his laughter and went up to the cashier. “I would like to purchase these sex items, please!” he proclaimed and slammed the items on the counter.

Evan screamed internally and hide behind a display.

Jared found him a minute later behind the piercing stand, bag in hand. “Come on, let’s go you squip.”

Evan quirked his eyebrow, “What does that mean?”

Jared rolled his eyes, “Get with the lingo, Evan.”

The blonde scoffed, “Whatever.”

 

* * *

 

“You sure you want to go alone?”

Connor rolled his eyes, “It’s just the doctor’s, Zoe. Geez, I’m not dying.”

The female Murphy frowned. “Is Evan…”

“Evan’s a virgin,” Connor interrupted and finished tying his shoe.

Zoe nodded, “You really like him, huh?”

“You already know the answer to that,” Connor said and made sure he had his insurance card and his license before grabbing his keys and leaving. It wasn’t like he hadn’t been tested before, especially after the whole ‘incident’. Connor didn’t want to risk it though, not with Evan.

The teen drove to the hospital. His check in was easy, aside from the odd looks he got. Connor sat in the chair and waited for his blood to be taken. He sighed and swung his legs. His mind drifted to Evan, it seemed to always drift to Evan. Connor was pulled from his thoughts by his phone buzzing.

 **540 - 787- XXXX** : _I see you’ve made a new ‘friend’_

Connor glared at the text.

 **Connor** : _Who the fuck is this?_

 **540 - 787- XXXX** : _Really? You deleted my fucking number? After all I did for you_

Why did that sound so familiar.

 **Connor** : _Luke_?

 **540 - 787- XXXX** : _Yeah it’s me, asshole. Who the fuck is that guy?_

Connor growled and typed furiously.

 **Connor** : _Why the fuck do you care?!_

 **540 - 787- XXXX** : _Cause you’re not supposed to fuck anybody else!_

 **Connor** : _Oh fuck you. We weren’t even dating and we sure as hell aren’t dating now. You’re the one who decided to be a total creep and then fall off the face of the earth_

 **540 - 787- XXXX** : _I have some weed, you should come meet me_

 **Connor** : _Fuck off!_

 **540 - 787- XXXX** : _You’re always such a bitch when your sober. How does that fucking worm even stand you? You’re nothing but a useless piece of shit_

 **Connor** : _DON’T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT HIM THAT WAY_

 **540 - 787- XXXX** : _Why, don’t tell me you actually love that little bitch_

 **Connor** : _I swear to god, Luke_

 **540 - 787- XXXX** : _Maybe something happens to him, huh? I can see he already took a tumble. Wouldn’t be too hard to convince people he’d taken another_

 **Connor** : _IF YOU FUCKING LAY A HAND ON HIM, I WILL KILL YOU_

 **540 - 787- XXXX** : _Oh really? Did you tell him everything? Did you tell him about me? Did you tell him about my friends? I still have some of the pictures you know. Be a shame if someone slipped some in his locker. I wonder how he’d react. He seems like the goody two shoes type_

Connor tried to calm down. His entire body was shaking with rage but he tried to quell it. The text kept coming though and he couldn’t stop. Connor roared and threw his phone across the room.

“Jesus!” Heidi screamed and looked at a distraught Connor, “Honey, are you okay?!”

Connor tried really hard to hold it in, he really did. He couldn’t seem to hide his emotions from the Hansen’s though. Tears burst from his eyes and he hung his head. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he choked and tried to calm down.

Heidi hushed him and held him close to her chest. “There, there sweetheart. I’m here for you. What happened?”

“A fucked up ex,” Connor growled and buried his face in Heidi’s shoulder. She was so warm and comforting. He saw were Evan got it. Connor melted against the kind embrace and slowly quelled his anger and pain. Jesus Christ, he was crying on his boyfriend’s mom. Connor pulled back and wiped his face. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

Heidi frowned, “I’m sorry some ghost from your past is tormenting you.” She asked, “Does Evan know?”

Connor nodded, “Yeah,” and looked at his cracked phone. It wasn’t a full lie, Evan knew most of it. The situation finally dawned on him though and he asked, “Wait, why are you here?”

Heidi smiled, “I’m your nurse, silly.”

Connor’s eyes widened in fear, “O-oh.” He didn’t know what to do and she was already looking at his chart!

“Let’s see you’re here for,” Heidi paused before looking back up at Connor and then the phone. “This ex-”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” the teen quickly shut down. No way was he talking about it. Not here and definitely not now.

Heidi nodded. She sighed and gathered the supplies to take Connor’s blood. Heidi saw the shame on Connor’s face. “Did Evan ever tell you why he kept his hair short?”

Connor shook his head, “He told me his hair was long at one point but never told me why he cut it off.”

Heidi frowned, “It was his father’s doing.” She swallowed down her sadness. “He used to work nights, barely saw Evan, except in passing. We really didn’t have any spare money and I didn’t want to take a razor to Evan’s head without knowing how to use it. I taught Evan how to braid his hair instead. He would always watch me do mine and would try to copy me. We’d go to the park and he’d braid my hair and I’d braid his and we’d make flower crowns and play.”

She gave him a sad smile, “I used to call him my fairy prince and he used to call me mommy queen.” Heidi beamed at the memories before continuing. “Anyway, Evan became really popular at school. Little girls would ask him to braid their hair during morning time and recess. They’d all run around together and pretend to be fairies. I used to pick him up and he’d be swarmed by little girls with flowers in their hair.”

Heidi frowned, “Then his father’s schedule changed. He started seeing Evan more and noticed his hair. I came home from work one day and found Evan crying in his room, his entire head was shaven.” She growled, “I confronted his father and we argued till he screamed how he didn’t want his son to be some fairy. Evan, bless his heart, didn’t know what his father meant and told him that he was a fairy prince.”

Heidi felt tears welling in her eyes, “His father hit him so hard that he smacked against the wall.”

Connor’s eyes widened in horror.

Heidi wiped at her eyes, “I kicked him out, obviously. Moved Evan far away from him, but even that didn’t heal what that man had done to him. Evan became more timid, fearful, anxious. For a long time, he would cower around men. It’s one of the reason I could never hold a relationship. Evan would get so frightened and think they’d hurt him or me.” She sucked in a breath, “He grew out of that fear but it was replaced with more anxiety and self-hatred. I used to catch him poking at himself in the mirror and telling himself every flaw he had. It broke my heart hearing my son think he was worthless. It broke my heart that I couldn’t always be there to reassure him. It broke my heart that I had lost my little fairy prince. I never thought I’d see that little boy again.”

Her eyes brightened, “Then you came along.”

Connor quirked his eyebrow.

Heidi chuckled, tears running down her cheeks. “I told you, you’ve done a lot for my boy. I haven’t caught him hating himself in the mirror. He’s let his hair grow longer then I’ve seen in years. He has more friends and he’s even doing hair again. You’ve done so much for my boy. You’ve loved him. Shown him he’s worth something. Made him feel wanted. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”

Connor wiped his own eyes. “Can I call you mom?”

Heidi beamed, “Of course you can.” She pulled him into another hug. “You know, Evan would be really happy to see you tonight,” she invited.

Connor sniffed and smiled. “Thank you,” he whispered and held her tighter.

 

* * *

 

  

Evan placed the toy away. He would use it tomorrow, maybe. Evan felt his phone vibrate. He looked at the message.

 **Mom** : _Connor is coming over_

Speak of the devil. The doorbell rang and Evan jumped up to get it. He found Connor behind it, dried tears on his face. Evan opened his arms and Connor walked into them.

“I fucking suck,” Connor sniffled.

Evan frowned, “No you don’t. Are you hungry?”

Connor shook his head, “I just want to snuggle.”

Even beamed. He led his boyfriend into the house and upstairs to his room. It took a while but Connor fell asleep, arms wrapped around him. The blonde ran his fingers through the mocha locks. He kissed the top of Connor’s head. The brunette looked so peaceful and content. It made Evan’s heart skip a beat. Connor could be so cute!

Evan felt something vibrate. He saw Connor’s phone was sticking out of his jacket pocket. Evan grabbed the device and saw a number had been spamming Connor. The blonde’s eyes narrowed. He looked at Connor’s sleeping form.

He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t. Evan bit his lip. Why was message preview off? Why was this person messaging Connor? Why were there so many messages? The blonde pressed the home button and saw that he was Connor’s lock screen picture. Even’s heart melted but there was a password. Even thought for a moment, what could it be? The blonde bite his lip and typed in his birthday.

It opened.

Evan fell in love all over again, Connor had used his birthday. He pressed the message button and scrolled to the top. Evan frowned. Fucking brown eyes. He read through it all. The more he read, the more he got pissed.

Evan was shaking. He’d never felt this kind of rage before. He growled, how fucking dare this boy. How dare this kid think he could make him love Connor any less. How dare he think Connor was worthless. Evan growled. If this bastard thought he could break them up, he has another thing coming. The blonde reread the last message, blood boiling, and shut off the phone. There was no need to be angry. Evan had Connor in _his_ bed, that asshole did not and never would again. “I love you, no matter what,” Evan whispered and hoped Connor’s subconscious could hear him. He placed a chaste kiss on Connor’s forehead and watched a smile form on the chapped lips. Evan beamed, “ _I guess he heard_.”


	14. Both Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a set up chapter, next chapter will be smut. I hope everyone's Halloween was amazing!

 

Connor would never get tired of waking up next to Evan. He giggled and nuzzled into Evan’s cheek, making the sleeping boy mewl. “God, I fucking love you,” he whispered. Connor sat up and stretched, they had about two hours till they needed to leave for school. Wednesday had been hell and yesterday had been full of more girls wanting Evan to do their hair. Connor sighed, tomorrow was Saturday and he wouldn’t have to worry about sharing Evan. The date dawned on him though. It was Friday.

Connor beamed, holy shit, it was Friday! He looked down at Evan. Today that cast would be gone. Today they’d go to the orchard. Today was going to be fucking great. Connor slipped out of bed and decided to let Evan sleep some more. For what Connor was planning later, Evan would need all the sleep he could get. 

He made his way downstairs and found Heidi making coffee.

“Morning, Connor,” she greeted with a sweet smile.

“Morning, mom,” he replied, the words flowing naturally. Connor rubbed his eyes and yawned. “When does Evan get his cast off today?”

Heidi chuckled, “I scheduled it for right after school.” She saw the teen’s excitement, “Would you like to come?”

“Can I?” he asked, eyes bright.

Heidi nodded, “Of course, sweetheart. Evan would probably be thrilled if you came.”

“Thank you! Also, I can drive him to the hospital. It’ll probably be easier that way,” he said and made himself a cup of coffee. “When should I wake him up?”

Heidi shrugged, “That works perfectly and he should get up soon.” Both heard footsteps coming down the stairs, “Speak of the devil.”

Evan walked into the kitchen, yawning.

“Dammit, Evangreen,” Connor said through a yawn and Heidi giggled through hers.

“Sorry,” the blonde mumbled and went to hug Connor. “You left the bed cold,” he whispered and moved to get some water.

Heidi watched the two laugh and tease each other. She sighed, a smile on her lips, “ _Young love_.”

 

* * *

 

 

Connor was fucking ecstatic. Fuck Luke. Fuck Larry. Fuck school. Nothing could ruin this god damn day for him.  He didn’t even care when Jared cracked a dumbass joke or when girls swarmed Evan. Connor was way to fucking high on life to care.

Evan had been particularly affectionate too. They had snuck kisses throughout the day and held each other’s hand. The whole time in English, their fingers were laced together under the desk.

As soon as the bell rang, the pair bolted to Connor’s car. “So, are we going to the orchard right after I get my cast off?” Evan asked, nervously.

Connor shook his head, “No, I have to go back to the house, get a few things, and set up some stuff. I’ll pick you up around six or so.”

Evan beamed, that gave him enough to shower and do… stuff.

Connor started the engine and drove straight to the hospital. “Your mom’s meeting us, right?”

“Yep!” Evan said cheerfully. When they parked, he raced out of the car. “Hurry up, I want to use my arm again.”

Connor chuckled and ran after his boyfriend. The pair made their way through the lobby and to the check in.

“Hi, Evan,” the receptionist greeted and handed Evan a clipboard.

“Hello, Mrs. Clara,” the blonde smiled brightly and signed in.

“The big day, huh?” she teased and then noticed Connor. “Is this your boyfriend? Your mom has been talking about you two nonstop.”

“All good things I hope,” Connor gave her a playful grin.

Evan blushed and bumped the brunette with his elbow. “Come on,” he urged and handed back the clipboard back. “I’ll see you later, Mrs. Clara.”

“Bye sweetheart!” she called after them.

The pair went to Evan’s assigned room and waited for Heidi and the doctor to show up. Evan sat on the exam table and Connor took the swivel chair. The blonde chuckled as his boyfriend wheeled around the room making whooshing noises and spinning about. “You’re so cute,” Evan said.

Connor gave him a cheeky wink before rolling over to the blonde. “You’re cuter,” he pinched Evan’s thigh, earning a playful swat. “I’m really fucking happy. It’s like Christmas, Halloween, and Easter are happening all at once,” Connor rested his head in Evan’s lap.

The blonde ran this fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. They both fell silent as the clock ticked above them. Evan frowned thinking about tonight. What if he messed up? What if he wasn’t any good? What if Connor didn’t want him after?

“Quit thinking so loud,” Connor mumbled and pinched Evan’s thigh again.

“I wasn’t thinking!” Evan blurted out.

Connor chuckled and looked up at him. His face became serious, “We don’t have to do anything tonight, if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to think-”

Evan frowned, “It’s not that. I want to, I just…I don’t know how good I’ll be.”

Connor shrugged, “You’re not supposed to be good, at first.” He held Evan’s shaking hand, “It’s a learning thing. You don’t start out with the ability to walk or swim or write, you learn those things.”

Evan’s anxiety eased. “I guess you’re right.”

Connor smiled, “You bet your cute ass I’m right.”

Evan giggled and continued to play with Connor’s hair.

“What are you two boys doing?” Heidi asked, a smile on her face.

“Evan’s comfy,” Connor slurred a bit. He sat up and scooted to his boyfriend’s side.

The doctor walked in behind Heidi. “Hi there, Evan. You excited?” he asked.

The blonde nodded and used his good hand to hold Connor’s. He was ecstatic.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan waved his arms around in the car. “Wooo!” he screamed and let his limbs stick out the sun roof.

“Evan, cut it out. You don’t want to hurt it again,” Heidi laughed at her son’s mad flailing.

“I have both arms!” the boy cried in joy.

Heidi shook her head, “You never lost one.”

“Yea but I’m not as restricted,” Evan countered. He giggled and laid back against the seat.

“You’re going to be safe tonight, right?” Heidi asked.

Evan felt his cheeks flush. “We will be,” he replied and fiddled with his shirt.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor packed his car, humming happily to himself.

“Do you need any help?” Cynthia asked. Her heart had nearly exploded when Connor had shyly asked her for help. They had found the tent, which had been buried in the garage, and found food for the night. She had taught Connor how to pack a picnic basket and helped him find some decent snacks. Cynthia couldn’t remember the last time she had spent time with her boy. She was cherishing every minute.

“I’m fine,” Connor said and placed the final item into the car. He ran a hand through his hair. “See, I’m done.”

Cynthia furrowed her brow, “You two will be okay, right? It’s not going to be too cold tonight? Are there any wild animals there? Will you-”

“Mom, we’ll be fine!” Connor laughed. He watched his mother’s face light up.

Cynthia held back joyous tears. She was still getting used to Connor calling her ‘mom’ again. “Okay,” she whispered. Her fingers itched to hug her son. Connor seemed to understand her silent plea. He wrapped his arms around his mother. “I’ll be back after school Monday,” he whispered and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Bye.” He got in his car and drove off.

Cynthia pressed a hand to her cheek. She turned back to the house to start dinner, a smile on her face.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan looked at himself in the mirror one more time. He had taken a long shower, brushed his teeth three times, and did…other things. The blonde shook his head, now was not the time to get lost in thought. Evan packed his stuff, checking and rechecking his bag. He sucked in a breath and looked over himself again.

They were going to have sex.

Jesus Christ, they were going to have sex!

The doorbell rang, and he ran out the room, then remembered his bag. He scurried back down the hall and grabbed his satchel before stumbling down the stairs.

He ripped open the front door and saw Connor’s red face. “Hi!” he squeaked.

“Hey,” Connor’s voice cracked.

Both teens busted out laughing at each other and themselves. They slowly calmed down and looked into each other’s eyes. “Ready to go?” Connor asked, offering his hand.

Evan took it and nodded.


	15. Only Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!  
> Smut, that's all this chapter is, fluff and smut  
> Evan's first time is in the woods, fight me

 

The car ride to the orchard was silent. There was an excited but anxious feeling in the air. Connor slipped his hand off the steering wheel and rested it on Evan’s thigh. He squeezed the khaki covered flesh in assurance. The blonde jumped a bit before looking down. He smiled warmly and placed his hand over Connor’s. Their fingers laced together, and both of their heartbeats slowed. The unspoken bond between them seemed to strengthen.  

Connor pulled into the gravel drive and parked. “Come on,” he urged and jump out of the car, basket in hand.

Evan giggled at his eagerness and got out as well. “Can I carry anything?” he asked, sweetly.

Connor looked at him up and down. Evan was fumbling with the hem of his shirt again. Connor beamed, his boyfriend was so cute. “You can help tomorrow. This is all I have to carry right now though,” Connor said and waved the basket.

Evan nodded and slung his bag over his shoulder. All of the promises and teasing were finally going to become a reality. Those biting teeth and traveling hands wouldn’t stop short tonight. Brief touches would be longer and wet dreams would come to fruition. There were no interruptions here. No one to walk in and stop them. No moms, no sister, no friends, and no librarians. They could go as far as they wanted.

Evan felt himself hardening. Every growled word and hot whisper began to replay in his mind. He hoped Connor was a man of his word. The blonde tried to quell his horniness. All in due time, he thought. Taking a needed breath, he went and took Connor’s hand. “Lead the way.”

The brunette kissed Evan’s knuckles before leading his lovable boyfriend through the trees.

“The weather’s really nice tonight,” Evan remarked as they walked. He was desperately trying to distract himself.

Connor nodded, “Yeah, I’m glad. Knowing my luck, I thought it was going to rain.”

Evan shrugged, “Maybe our bad luck counteracts each other.”

Connor tightened his grip on Evan’s hand. “Probably,” he whispered. “Here we are,” he said and gestured to the tent on top of the hill.

Evan smiled. It was a blue waterproof tent. It was plain, a bit large, but perfect. A shining beam of moonlight illuminated the little camp Connor had made. Evan hugged his boyfriend, causing the brunette to jump. “Thank you, it’s wonderful,” he whispered.

Connor chuckled, “We haven’t even gotten to the good part yet.” He winked and saw how Evan’s eyes lit up.

The blonde pressed himself against the other teen. “No, I guess we haven’t,” he whispered into the brunette’s ear. 

Connor let his hands rest on Evan’s hips. He pinched the plush skin above the blonde’s waistline and growled, “That’s not fair, Hansen.”

Evan giggled and stuck out his tongue before going to the tent. He unzipped it and crawled inside. There was a lantern that casted stars against the plastic walls. It shifted colors and brought the dark space to life. Two sleeping bags were rolled out and pillows were laid on them. The blonde realized how much love went into the little setup. He moved to sit on one of the sleeping bags and took off his satchel. Connor crawled in and zipped the tent closed. He placed the basket down and moved to Evan. 

“You like it?” he asked, a waver in his voice. His hands lightly gripped the blonde’s knees.

Evan nodded and saw the mixed look in Connor’s eyes. “It’s our own little world,” he whispered, “Only ours…and only us.” His hands moved to Connor’s chest. “I think my thoughtful boyfriend deserves a kiss,” he teased, heart racing.

“Yeah, he does,” Connor teased back. He tucked some stray hair behind his ear and leant in for a kiss. Evan closed his eyes and moved to meet Connor’s lips. They were soft. He wondered if Connor had stolen some of Zoe’s chapstick. Evan whined when the brunette pulled back seconds later. That was way too short for his liking.

“You hungry?” Connor asked, oblivious to his boyfriend’s pouting. He moved to grab the basket. “I brought snacks.”

Even shivered. Oh, he was hungry alright. The blonde licked his lips, there was a hint of cherry on them. He giggled but tried to keep a straight face. “What do you have?”

Connor pulled out a snickers bar. “Your favorite.”

Evan beamed and took the candy. Not only was it delicious, it was a good distraction.

Connor then pulled out a joint.

“What’s that for?” Evan asked through a mouth full of chocolate.

The brunette shrugged. “Us,” he said, before adding, “if you want.”

Evan frowned, “Will it hurt?”

Connor chuckled, “Before you, it was the only coping mechanism I had that didn’t hurt.” He saw the pained expression on Evan’s face. “Shit, I mean-”

“It’s okay,” the blonde said. He smiled sadly, “I just hate remembering how things used to be… for us.”

Connor watched Evan move to him.

“I want to try, only a little though,” he said and moved to sit beside his boyfriend.

Connor nodded. He kissed Evan’s cheek. “I’m turning you into a rebel. Soon you’ll be driving fast and doing all the drugs!”

Evan snorted, chocking on his candy. “Connor!” he yelled through joyful tears as he swatted at his boyfriend.

“You sweet, innocent thing,” the brunette laughed and patted Evan’s back. “You haven’t even taken a hit yet and you’re already coughing!” he tried to contain his laughter, and failed miserably. Connor dug out a lighter from his pocket.

Evan observed him as he lit the joint. He realized that it wasn’t much different from smoking cigarettes, at least in procedure. Evan watched Connor take a slow drag before exhaling. His body seemed to visibly relax. Those blue eyes locked with Evan’s. “Here,” Connor passed the blunt to him.

Evan took it to his lip and tried to copy what Connor had done. He ended up coughing up a lung. “I’m dying!” he wheezed through his hacking.  

Connor smiled, “Aw, my poor innocent baby!” He rubbed Evan’s back. “Deep breaths, Evangreen,” he instructed and took the weed for the blonde’s hand.

For once, that advice helped. Evan groaned, “I don’t think I was meant to be a rebel.”

Connor clicked his tongue, “Don’t worry, there are other ways.” A devious smile spread across his face. “Go lay down,” he said.

Evan quirked an eyebrow but obliged. He rested on top of the sleeping bag. Hands came and spread his legs wide, so Connor could move between them. Evan felt his horniness return full force.

Connor let his eyes wander the beautiful boy below him. Evan was so cute, and trusting, and lovable. He took a drag from his blunt and tapped Evan’s lips. The blonde took the hint and opened his mouth. Connor swooped down and blew smoke into it. “Inhale,” he instructed.

Evan did and felt a shiver run up his spine. A pleasant warmth spread through his veins and made his muscles relax.

“See, no coughing,” Connor whispered.

Evan smiled. He licked his lips and replied, “I like this way much better.” His legs brushed Connor’s hips. Evan bit his lip, “It’s warm, you should take off your jacket.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Connor whispered, eyes locked with Evan’s. He placed the joint between his lips before slipping off his jacket, throwing into the darkness of the tent. Connor took another drag before leaning down, Evan opened his mouth and inhaled the smoke Connor let out. The pale teen let his lips linger over Evan’s.

The blonde reared up and captured the hesitating mouth. Connor groaned and let himself fall into the kiss. A side of him wanted to rip off Evan’s clothes and fuck him into oblivion, while the other side of him wanted to take things slow and sweet.

Evan pulled back and threw off his shirt before capturing Connor’s lips again. “Please,” he begged between kisses, “Please.”

Connor growled. He snuffed out the blunt on his sleeping bag, he’d deal with those consequences later, and pulled back. His own shirt joined Evan’s in the darkness as they both wrestled out of their pants before tangling back together.

Their hands wandered over each other skin, nails catching and leaving angry red lines. Connor moved to suck and bite at Evan’s neck. The blonde whimpered in turn and ground his hips upward. His whole body seemed to catch fire and it was driving him mad.

Connor moaned loudly, a mouthful of skin in between his teeth. He moved with Evan’s frantic thrusts until they fell in a rhythm. His teeth unlatched to let out a deep, “Fuck.”

Evan groaned at the feeling of Connor biting into a new patch of skin. The blonde wrapped his legs around Connor’s hips and dug his heels into the small of the others back. It felt good, but it wasn’t enough. Evan grabbed a fistful of mocha hair and pulled.

Connor let go. “Evan!” he yelled in shock and grabbed the other’s wrist. The brunette could feel his dick twitching from the rough treatment.

Evan tugged Connor’s face closer. “Fuck me,” he growled.

The brunette smiled devilishly, “Yes sir.” He felt Evan’s grip loosen and he slipped out of it. Connor trailed his hands down Evan’s sides before hooking his fingers around the waist band of the blonde’s boxers. He slipped them off and threw them into the darkness.

“Yours too,” Evan whispered huskily.

Connor complied and then moved to dig into Evan’s bag. 

“What are you doing?” Evan asked.

“Getting the lube I know you brought,” Connor said with a wink. He pulled out the bottle before going back between Evan’s legs. He flicked open the cap and warmed the lube on his fingers.

Evan spread his legs wider as a finger pressed against his hole. He moaned as a digit was pushed inside of him.

“Fuck,” Connor whispered. He could feel how warm Evan was around him. Connor pushed in another finger with ease. His eyes narrowed before a smile split his face. “Did you finger yourself before I picked you up?”

Evan’s face turned an even deeper shade of red. “I used…” he mumbled the last bit.

Connor pushed a third finger in and found a bit of resistance. “What did you use, Evan?” he asked, trying to distract his boyfriend.

The blonde groaned as he was breached. Evan whimpered, “I… I bought a toy.”

Connor chuckled, “So that’s what Jared was talking about.” He spread his fingers, thrusting them in and out of Evan’s tight heat.

“What?!” Evan squeaked. He felt pleasure shoot up is spine, “Connor!” The blonde moaned loudly and ground his hips down. “Oh, fuck,” he gasped and dug his nails into the slippery fabric of the sleeping bag.

Connor bit his lip and spread his fingers before pushing in deeper. He grabbed Evan’s wrist and placed it on his shoulder. “If you’re going to hold onto something, hold onto me.”

Evan’s eyes widened but he wrapped his arms around Connor. “I might scratch you,” he warned.

Connor grinned, “I want you to.”

The blonde shivered. He shot his hand down and grabbed Connor’s wrist. “I’m fine, get in me,” he begged.

Connor licked his lips. “I don’t think you’re ready yet-”

Evan dug his nails into the pale wrist. “Connor Murphy, put that dick to good use and fuck me!” he growled.

Connor shivered. “Fuck,” he whispered.

“That’s what we should be doing,” Evan teased and guided the pale hand back, so the prodding fingers slipped out of him. “Come on,” he urged and moved to give Connor’s hard cock a few strokes.

The brunette snapped out of his lustful daze. “Fine,” he growled and grabbed the backs of Evan’s plush thighs. He pushed them toward the blonde’s chest and lined himself up with Evan’s glistening hole. Connor felt Evan’s nails digging into his shoulder. He pushed in, easily getting halfway before having to pause for the blonde.

“Shit!” Evan raked his nails down the pale back. His legs wrapped around Connor’s still hips. He looked up with bleary eyes. “I’m fine, more,” he gasped and used his legs to press Connor deeper inside. Evan threw his head back, “Fuck, yes!”

Connor’s arms trembled as he tried to hold himself up. The brunette sucked in a deep breath and tried to keep his voice steady, “D-don’t fucking do that.”

Evan smiled, cheeks flushed and eyes glazed. “Then don’t make me wait.” He ground down and both teen’s gasped at the feeling.

 “Fine,” he growled. Connor pulled back before quickly thrusting back in. The brunette listened to the scream Evan let out. He began a harsh pace. “Is this what you wanted?” He felt Evan’s nails digging deeper into his skin. “And here I thought you’d want something slow and gentle.”

“Later, later,” Evan rambled, “Slow later, wanna fuck now.” He tangled his fingers in Connor’s hair. “I want you. All of you.”

Those hazel eyes stared into blue. Connor gulped and leaned down to kiss the blonde, keeping his rough pace. “I love you,” he whispered against the soft lips and grabbed the shaking legs around his hips. He placed them over his shoulders and his hands next to Evan’s head.

The blonde screamed into the kiss and dragged his nails down Connor’s back. The new angle felt amazing. “Come on!” he tried to pull the other down. “Bite me,” he begged, “please bite me.”

Connor smiled devilishly. He pushed in to the hilt and stilled, “Pull my hair and make me, Hansen.”

Evan growled. He tangled his fingers back into the wavy locks before roughly tugging to other teen closer. Connor moaned loudly in his ear. “I said, bite me,” the blonde ordered. Evan shuddered, he could feel Connor twitching inside him. “Yes sir,” Connor breathlessly whispered before sinking his teeth into Evan’s neck. “Move,” the blonde whimpered, “Please move.”

Connor slowly began to roll his hips, gradually picking up speed.

Evan held onto the other teen. He pulled Connor’s hair again resulting in another moan. “Masochist,” he teased.

Connor let go of the blonde’s neck. “Hi pot, I’m kettle,” he shot back before biting along Evan’s jaw. “You feel good, such a good boy,” he whispered into the blonde’s ear. Connor groaned at the sudden tightness he felt around his cock. His eyes widened before a smile spread across his face. “You like that?” he whispered, “You like being a good boy.”

Evan cried out, the combination of Connor’s thrusting and words were too much. “I- I want…” the blonde’s words dissolved into gibberish as Connor thrusted into his prostate.

“Good boys use their words,” the brunette chided and let Evan’s legs wrap around his waist. The sound of their fucking became louder in his ears. Evan’s cries were getting higher pitched and the air in the tent was saturated with the smell of sex. Connor cupped the other’s boy’s ass, lifting Evan’s hips from the sleeping bag. He moved the other to meet his thrusts. “Come on,” he sighed, “Come on.”

Evan moaned loudly, “Connor! I’m gonna cum!”

“Me too, me too,” the other gasped.

“Please,” Evan begged, “Please!”

“What do you want? Tell me what you want,” Connor urged and slowed he thrusts. He ground himself against the blonde’s sweet spot, resulting in Evan crying out.

“Again,” Evan pled, “Call me a good boy again.”

Connor smiled. “You’re a good boy, Evan. Such a good boy.” The brunette relished the moans that flooded out of his lover. “Even though you’re a fucking brat, you’re a good boy.” He started thrusting anew, not bothering to gradually speed up.

“I’m your good boy, right?” Evan asked, sickly-sweet hope in his voice.

Connor leant down to kiss those quivering lips. “Yes,” he answered, “you’re my good boy. All mine. All fucking _mine_!” He moved his hand between them to stroke Evan’s cock. “You can come. You’ve been such a good boy, you can come.”

Evan sobbed, his entire body shaking. “I love you!” he screamed as he neared the edge of euphoria.

Connor dug his nails into Evan’s hip. The rhythm was faltering as they both got closer to the edge. “Pull my hair,” he ordered, “Pull my fucking hair!”

Evan grabbed the mocha locks. “Cuming!” he screamed, “Cuming!” His whole body tensed and spasmed as he came. “Cum inside me,” he begged, “cum inside me. Cum inside me!” He roughly pulled Connor’s hair.

Connor felt pleasure erupt from his very core. “Evan!” he cried.

Said teen gasped as he was filled, making him shudder and shake. The pair trembled and tried to catch their breath.

“Jesus Christ,” Connor panted out, eyes wide. He let his head rest on the blonde’s shoulder. That had been a lot more intense than he imagined. Connor smiled, it had been perfect. He raised himself on shaky arms and pulled out of the other.

Evan whined at the feeling of emptiness. He laid there and tried to breath as Connor moved around the tent. He heard a zipper being pulled, then fresh air flooded the small space. Evan relaxed and tried to sit up, but a gentle hand pressed him back onto the sleeping bag.

“Lay back,” Connor instructed.

Evan whined as something cold wiped his sensitive skin. “What are you doing,” he slurred out.

“Cleaning you up,” Connor replied and threw the baby wipe into the garbage bag he’d brought. “Dry cum is no fun,” he said and beamed as Evan gave him a tired smile.

The blonde lifted his arms, “I demand post coital cuddles.”

Connor chuckled, “Give me a second.” He kissed Evan’s cheek and then moved out of sight.

Evan could hear him shuffling around before the tent was zipped closed once more. He hummed and pale arms pulled him into the other sleeping bag. “You’re comfy,” Evan whispered as he laid on Connor’s chest.

“And you’re cute when you’re half awake,” the brunette replied and kissed his boyfriend’s forehead.

“We’ll take a shower at my house tomorrow,” Evan planned.

“Definitely,” Connor replied. He held the blonde closer to his chest. He eyes became heavy as he whispered, “I love you.”

Evan smiled and mumbled back, “I love you too.”


	16. Cutest Couple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS!!!

 

Connor groaned. His arm was numb, and his head hurt. He yawned and looked down at Evan. The brunette smiled and used his other arm to hug the sleeping boy. Memories flooded back slowly, causing the pale teen’s eyes to widen. Connor Murphy had fucked Evan Hansen. The realization alone was enough to make the brunette giddy. He placed kisses on the blonde’s forehead, careless in his affection. He was too happy for words.

Sunlight began to flood the tent and was starting to burn his eyes. It was another morning, once again by Evan’s side. He wanted to stay in the little world they had made, but alas, reality was inescapable. One last look at Evan’s sleeping face and Connor reasoned that they should probably leave soon. He carefully slipped his arm from under his boyfriend’s head. His limb began to tingle back to life as blood began to flow through unblocked veins. He gently placed Evan’s head on the pillow before sitting up. He shook his arm and tried to get some feeling back. “Jesus Christ,” he mumbled.

Connor ran his fingers through his hair, detangling some knots in it. All that pulling really did a number on his normally soft locks. He searched around for his clothes from last night. He’d change into fresh ones after he showered at Evan’s.

“Connor,” a small voice whined.

Said teen looked back and smiled at his freshly awake boy. “Hey you,” he greeted and kissed the blonde’s cheek. 

Evan giggled and pushed the brunette gently. “We need to shower… and brush our teeth,” he groaned and tried to sit up. “Everything hurts,” Evan whined, hands then helped him into a sitting position. “Thanks,” he mumbled into Connor’s shoulder before laying a kiss on the pale skin.

The brunette chuckled and handed Evan his clothes. “Here, we’ll change at your house.” Connor went out of the tent and stumbled as he stood. “Fuck,” he gasped and tried to get his bearings. He buttoned up his pants and tied his hair into a messy bun.

Evan hissed at the sunlight but made his way out of the tent as well. He pulled on his shirt and tried not to stumble and fall over. The blonde slung his satchel over his shoulder and rubbed his eyes. “Why’s the sun so damn bright?”

Connor smiled. His boyfriend was too cute. He turned around and kissed Evan fully on the lips. “Go wait in the car,” he instructed, “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“I want to help,” the blonde muttered. Connor had done so much last night, he could at least help clean up.

The brunette rolled his eyes, “Fine.” He thought for a moment before going back into the tent and grabbing the picnic basket. “Here,” he said cheekily and handed it to Evan. “Now let me clean up.”

Evan pouted but took the basket and walked down the hill. Shooting pain went up his back as he moved. No wonder Connor told him to go sit down. He made it to the car, albeit limping, and climbed into the passenger seat. Evan groaned and tried to relax into the chair.

Connor came down from the hill awhile later and found Evan asleep in the car. He chuckled and packed the backseat before climbing inside and driving to Evan’s house.

 

* * *

 

 

They had spent the day watching movies and snuggling. Now in pajamas, Connor couldn’t resist slapping his boyfriend’s ass. Connor giggled as Evan playfully swatted him with a pillow. “I’m not sorry!” he yelled in rebellion and blocked the plush attack. He reached out and grabbed the other.

The blonde gasped but let himself be pulled into an embrace. Connor kissed the top of his head and held him close. He buried his face into the paler teen’s chest. “You’re such an ass,” he mumbled into the faded graphic tee Connor wore.

“Why, cause I like yours? It’s not my fault your butt’s so cute,” Connor teased and grabbed two handfuls of the plush flesh.

Evan playful hit him again. “Cut it out, pervert,” he nipped at Connor’s collarbone. The brunette winced before chuckling. Hands slipped under Evan’s shirt and up his back. “Cold,” the blonde gasped and laughed in surprise.

“Warm me up, baby,” Connor said and pressed his cold hand flat against Evan’s skin.

“Connor!” the blonde squirmed and tried to get away from the freezing fingertips.

Connor ran his fingers up the blonde’s spine. “What, I’m not doing anything,” he teased and nipped at Evan’s ear.

The blonde giggled, “Knock it off.” The cold hands moved from under his shirt to wrap around him once more. He nuzzled into Connor’s neck. They laid there for a while and let their heartbeats fall into sync.

Silence seemed to stretch on. Their breathing matched, and their eyes closed. Thoughts raced through their heads and unsaid words waved through the air. Reality had slowly been seeping in throughout the day. The walls around them were no longer blocking the outside world. Unspoken anxiety and fear hung over them. Two minds racing, both afraid that the other would leave. Both afraid to be alone again after having a taste of happiness. The tension built until a question rang out.

“Do you think I’ll go to college?” Connor mumbled. He seemed to be asking himself more than anybody else.

Evan shrugged, “You could, if you wanted to.” Connor wasn’t like Evan, his parents had enough to send him to whatever school he wanted. The blonde frowned, he couldn’t help the twinge of jealousy that ran through him. He squashed it though. It’s not like Connor flaunted his wealth or tried to make Evan feel bad about being poorer. The brunette didn’t have a plan because…

“I didn’t think I’d make it this far,” Connor felt his throat tighten. He chuckled sadly, “No one thought I would last this long.” Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, “I wouldn’t be surprised if my parents didn’t have a fund for me like they do for Zoe.”

Evan frowned and shifted to hold Connor’s hand in his. Their fingers interlocked, and Evan could feel the flutter in the brunette’s pulse. His heart began to race as the weight of Connor’s words dawned on him. He stared at his boyfriend’s arms and saw the healed scars. “We’ll figure it out,” he began, “…together.” Evan moved Connor’s wrist to his lips. “W-who knows…maybe we could go to the same school,” a smile spread across his face, “I could help you remember the word ‘book’ and proof read all your essays.”

“Well, one of us has to remember,” a sad laugh rung through the room. Tears ran down Connor’s face. Blue and hazel eyes locked onto each other. “I’m so glad I pushed you,” he whispered, trying not to choke on his words.

Evan gripped Connor’s hand tighter. “Me too,” he nuzzled into his boyfriend’s shoulder. They fell into thought again as the sky grew dark. Unsaid words weighed heavily on them, but they’d be said another day.

For now, only silence.

 

* * *

 

 

Monday came all too fast for the pair.

Evan and Connor moved through the familiar halls and were surprised to find Alana waiting by Evan’s locker.

“Perfect! I hoped you’d come here,” she beamed and showed them her camera. “I need a photo of you two.”

Connor grimaced, “Why?”

Alana gave him a sly grin. “Let’s just say that you two got nominated for cutest couple in school, also for homecoming and prom kings.”

Evan’s eyes widened. “Who nominated us?!”

“Couldn’t have been that many people,” Connor added in. It wasn’t like people were falling over themselves to nominate him. Even with Evan’s cuteness, he was still known as the ‘school shooter’.

“Oh you’d be surprised,” Alana said and waved her camera. “Anyway, back to the task at hand, I need a photo of you two!”

Evan nervously turned to Connor. “Do…do you mind?” the hope in his eyes seemed to pour out in droves.

The brunette shrugged. He couldn’t say no to that face. He tried to play it cool though, “As long as you’re okay with it.”

Evan smiled and turned back to Alana. “Okay! Should we do it here?”

Alana shook her head, “No, there’s too many people around. Let’s go to the library.”

The pair followed her. “Against the bookcases, if you please,” she instructed. Alana gave a knowing grin, “You two should be familiar with this spot.”

Evan sputtered out a few unintelligible noises and Connor flipped her the bird.

She laughed and held up her camera, “Alright now, scooch together and smile.”

The pair moved closer. Connor threw an arm around Evan’s waist and Evan let his head rest on Connor’s shoulder. Evan felt jittery, he didn’t take good pictures. What if they lost because Evan was awkward? What if people made fun of them because Evan looked stupid? What if-

Connor’s voice pulled him out of his internal fray. “Evangreen,” he whispered into the blonde’s ear, “smile, beautiful.”

Evan couldn’t help the redness that dusted his cheeks nor the smile that spread across his face.

Alana snapped the photo, “Perfect! You two really are the cutest couple, excluding Zoe and I.” She winked and laughed when Connor stuck out his tongue at her. Alana looked at the photo with pride, “You two are sure to win, an innocent goody two shoes and a bad boy, you’re every fangirls dream couple.”

Evan played with the hem of his shirt before looking up at Connor’s face. “I know he’s been in my dreams,” he said sweetly.

“Hopefully,” the brunette gave him a devilish smirk, “I’ll be in your pants later too.”

“Connor!”

 

* * *

 

 

Evan watched Connor eat. He had been keeping track of the other’s eating habits. The thought of Connor starving himself, intentional or not, really bugged him. He wanted his boyfriend to be happy and most of all healthy.

“I know I’m pretty, but damn, Evangreen,” Connor teased. He pinched Evan’s thigh and watched his boyfriend jump.

“S-sorry,” the blonde stuttered out and covered Connor’s hand with his. “I was just distracted,” he smiled, “besides it’s your fault for being so gorgeous.”

“Shut your cute ass up,” Connor grumbled though a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

Evan kissed his cheek, “Make me.”

“Whoa! Make way for the gay,” Jared said, causing the couple to break apart.

“Hello, dumbass,” Connor growled.

“Jared.”

“Dumbass.”

Evan rolled his eyes. “What are you doing over here?” he asked.

“Besides protecting these poor innocent youths from your gay agenda? I came over to congratulate you both on being nominated!” Jared explained, sitting down with his lunch.

Evan was about to thank him when Connor jumped in.

“How’d you know we were nominated?” the brunette asked.

Evan thought about it and joined in, “Yeah, Alana hasn’t put the posters up yet.”

Jared closed his mouth and looked tense. “Well…ugh,” for once, he went silent.

Realization hit and Evan gasped, “Did you nominate us?!”

Jared’s cheeks tinted, “You two may be terrible, but you make a pretty cute couple. Even I can admit that.”

Connor chuckled, “You could have just said that Zoe or Alana told you.”

Jared frowned deeply. “God dammit,” he whispered under his breath.

Evan snorted and began to laugh in hysterics, Connor joining him.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan shifted to look up at Connor. The pale teen had his hair up and was lounging against the headboard. They had decided to hang out at Connor’s today. The house was theirs since Zoe was out with Alana, Larry was on a business trip, and Cynthia was out shopping. Reruns of Futurama played on the TV as the two relaxed.

“What?” the brunette asked, staring at Evan’s adorable face.

The blonde smiled and rested his head back against Connor’s shoulder. “Just making sure you still like me,” the blonde teased.

“I’m dating you!” Connor said in faux exasperation.

The pair laughed at themselves before slipping onto the mattress. The noise from the TV faded into the background as hands began to lazily wander. The blonde bit his lip and moved his hand lower, causing Connor to take in a shaky breath. “You still want to get into my pants?” Evan asked, running his other hand under Connor’s shirt. He felt the lustful growl that rumbled through his boyfriend’s chest. Evan let himself be rolled onto his back as Connor moved between his legs. Lips covered his, pulling him into a searing kiss. Teeth bit at bottom lips as clothes were shed and breath became labored. Hips began to grind as the pair shimmied out of their pants. They pulled apart, red faced and gasping.

“Innocent, my ass,” the brunette teased and nipped at Evan’s neck. He slipped a hand into the blonde’s boxers.

Evan smiled widely. “Hi pot, I’m kettle,” he shot back before pulling Connor’s hair and dragging him into another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut in next chapter, yay or nay? Comment below


	17. Riding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut in the first part, I wanted to write bottom Connor

Evan threw his clothes over the bed, uncaring as to where they landed. He watched as Connor did the same. The pair pulled each other close and fell against the sheets. Evan could feel his mind fogging with lust as he slipped his fingers through Connor’s hair. His voice was small as he whispered, “I want-Ah” Evan gasped as teeth sank into his neck, his train of thought derailed.

Connor licked the bruised skin, feeling the indents his teeth had made. “What do you want?” he asked laying quick kisses on Evan’s lips. His hand moved over Evan’s side, nails catching the soft skin.

The blonde tried to speak but his brain and mouth weren’t connecting. He put a hand on Connor’s shoulder. The brunette finally stilled over him and he could finally think. His fingers twisted in brown locks. “Wanna fuck you,” he growled.

Connor’s eyes widened and he moved back.

Evan’s face turned bright red and horrified, “I mean, I-I’m sorry! Idon’tknowwhatIwasthink-”

“Evan,” Connor said to stop the panicking blonde. He kneeled up, the other teen following him.

“I-I’m sorry,” the blonde repeated, avoiding Connor’s eyes.

“Don’t apologize,” Connor said. He didn’t mean to make Evan feel bad. He just never thought the blonde would ask to top. Connor smirked. “ _Innocent my ass_ ,” he thought. Connor took Evan’s chin in his palm, making the blonde look at him. “I want you to fuck me,” he said, knowing his boyfriend needed verbal confirmation.

Evan shuddered. “Okay,” his voice cracked, making Connor chuckled. “I um…how?” He felt like a dumbass for asking for something he didn’t know how to do.

“Lay down,” Connor instructed. He tied his hair back and moved to dig into his nightstand.  

Evan felt his cheeks burning. He was terrible at keeping his mouth shut. His stupid curiosity got the best of him. Evan frowned, what if he did a bad job or Connor disliked it? Would he be angry? Would he break up with Evan? The blonde sucked in a deep breath to calm his racing mind. Thankfully his thoughts were interrupted when Connor poured cold lube on his cock.

“Sorry,” the brunette said when he heard Evan wince. He wrapped his warm hand around Evan, giving the blonde a few strokes, making sure he was hard.

“S’okay,” Evan whispered and watched as Connor straddled his waist. “W-wait!” he grabbed the brunette’s hip. “Don’t-don’t I need to…you know,” he held up a finger and hoped Connor would understand.

The brunette leaned down and gave Evan a deep kiss. It seemed stupid, but the question meant a lot to Connor. Evan cared about him, cared if he enjoyed it. That was more than what most of his other partners did. “You’re so fucking sweet,” he whispered against the soft lips. He sat back up and saw the confused look on Evan’s face. “You don’t need to stretch me,” he said.

Evan jolted when a hand grabbed the base of his dick. “I…don’t?” he was so confused. Everything he read said to stretch. “ _What are the rules?!_ ” his mind screamed.

Connor smiled. “You’re not the only one who masturbates,” was all he said as he sank down onto Evan’s cock. The brunette groaned, it had been months since he’d bottomed. There was a sharp sting, but Connor pushed through it, he’d been through worse. He sucked in a breath and looked down at Evan. The blonde was a mess. “Fuck,” he moaned and slowly raised his hips before bringing them back down. Both teen’s gasped in unison.

Evan tried to figure out how to deal with this new feeling. Connor was so hot and tight around him. No wonder people wanted to stick their dick in everything. “Wait, wait,” he moaned. It felt like he was going to melt.

“You act like you’re the one getting fucked,” Connor gave him a sly grin and began to move. The rhythm was a bit off, but he was slowly getting the hang of it. “Shit, ‘s been so long, you feel so good.” He groaned, “Such a good boy.” His pace finally evened out as he bounced on Evan’s lap. Connor smiled, for once he was riding and enjoying it. “My good boy, such a good boy,” he praised, making the blonde fall apart under him.

Evan bit his lip and fisted his hands in the sheets. He tried to stay still but involuntarily bucked his hips. He watched Connor’s eyes widened at the action. The brunette stilled on him, nailing digging into Evan’s chest. Reality set in and Evan panicked. “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry!” the blonde cried.

Connor shook his head, “I’m fine, just-” He rose and fell again, adoring the feeling of Evan inside him. “Just do that again,” he begged.

 The blonde nodded and rolled his hips up. He heard Connor moaning above him. Pleasure was painted across the brunette’s face and caused something within him to snap. Evan grabbed the other teen’s hips and planted his feet on the bed. He thrust up harder.

Connor fell forward and caught himself on Evan’s shoulder. “You little shit!” he laughed breathlessly. His whole body trembled from the feeling of Evan hitting his prostate. The blonde continued to move, missing and hitting the spot. Connor cried out. He loved how sex turned Evan from shy and anxiety ridden to dominating. He quickly began to match the blonde’s pace. “Fuck yes!” he cried as his prostate was hit. “Right there, right there, again!” he cried.

Evan’s eyes rolled back as Connor tightened around his cock. The feeling was entirely new and amazing, he didn’t know how to handle it. “Wait, Connor, wait!” the blonde dug his nails into the bony hips. He was going to cum too soon and mess up. He didn’t want to mess up.

Connor hissed and sank down fully before stilling. There was no way in hell he was going to let Evan lose his nerve. This was the first time he had ever wanted to be fucked. “Evan,” he used one of his hands to hold the blonde’s chin. “Look at me,” he ordered. Those hazel eyes stared into his. “Good boy.” He could feel Evan shudder from the praise. “You’re doing great. Just… just move with me,” he instructed. His hand grabbed Evan’s side. “Meet me when I go down,” he explained and raised his hips. Connor gasped as Evan listened to his instructions, “That’s right, good boy.” His head fell back, “Fuck, Evan, keep going.”

The pair moved in tandem. The bed dipped and rocked from their movements. The air between them became sultry and filled with loud gasps and moans. The sound of skin slapping against skin rang off the walls as sunlight began to dim. Their rapid pace began to falter as they neared the edge.

Connor dug his nails into the sheets. His legs were on fire and his hair was falling in his face, but no way was he stopping. “Come on, come on,” he urged. He wanted to feel Evan inside him, coming inside him.

Evan had his head thrown back. “I-I can’t,” he stammered. “I’m…I’m gonna-” He dug his nails deeper into the bruises on Connor’s hips.

“It’s okay,” the brunette assured, “Been such a good boy for me. You can cum, Evan.” He jerked and cried out as a shaky hand wrapped around his cock. “Wait, Evan!” he warned, knowing he was close too.

“Wanna be good. Wanna make you feel good,” Evan said, earnestly.

Connor could feel his heart melting. It didn’t take much of Evan’s unrhythmic stroking for Connor to lose his mind. The brunette quickly covered his mouth, biting into his palm. His legs shook, whether from pleasure or overuse, he couldn’t tell. With a low keen, he shuddered and came, coating Evan’s fingers and chest.

Evan’s mouth hung open in euphoria. “Oh fuck!” Connor had become so tight. The heat, the feeling of Connor around him, shaking over him. Evan pulled Connor’s hips down and pressed himself as deep as he could. Every muscle in his body locked as he came, filling his lover.

Both teens collapsed on the bed, trying to regain their breath.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Connor gasped, chest heaving. “We can’t keep having mind blowing sex.”

“Why not?” Evan asked, moving some hair out of Connor’s face.

The brunette’s eyes narrowed, “You’re a little shit.”

“I’m a rebel and you can’t stop me,” Evan laughed until Connor shifted off of him. He slipped out of the brunette and hissed as cold air met his spent cock.

“Come here,” Connor said and pulled Evan to his chest. “I demand post coital cuddles.”

 

* * *

 

 

Evan had no idea how they were able to shower and clean up their mess in time. By magic or luck though, they were presentable by the time Cynthia returned to the house.

“Connor!” his mother called, causing both boys to jump.

Evan followed his boyfriend out the room and down the stairs.

“Oh, Evan!” Cynthia greeted with glee, “I’m so glad you’re here. I got a bit extra.” She set the KFC on the table. “Connor, can you help me get some plates?”

The brunette nodded, “Sure mom.” Connor followed her into the kitchen, leaving Evan to awkwardly stand in the dining room.

The blonde heard the front door open and close. He wasn’t too surprised when Zoe rounded the corner. She looked happy, a blush dusting her cheeks and her hair a bit messy.

“Oh, Evan,” Zoe said in surprise, “Hi!”

“Hey, Zoe,” Evan greeted.

The female Murphy saw the food on the table. “Whoa, mom actually got something out? She normally cooks.” Zoe hung up her coat. “How are you?” she asked the blonde.

“I’m fine,” he replied and played with the hem of his shirt.

Zoe’s eyes scanned over him. She smiled knowingly, “You two had sex didn’t you?”

“Zoe!” Evan squeaked.

“What the hell are you two talking about?” Connor asked, setting some plates on the table.

“Just some healthy teasing,” his sister said, coyly.

“Hey, teasing him into a tomato is my job,” Connor said. He walked over and kissed Evan’s cheek. “She knows, doesn’t she?” he whispered to the blonde. He chuckled at the curt nod he got. “Don’t stress,” Connor said and gave Evan a pat on the back. “Sit down,” he reached over and pulled out a chair.

Evan took the seat and Zoe sat across from him. She smiled sweetly, “I was only messing with you, Evan. I’m no better.”

“Especially with that hickey on your neck,” Evan pointed out. He covered his mouth, shocked at his own words.

Zoe gasped and covered the bruise.

Connor smiled, “I’m rubbing off on you, huh Hansen?.”

Cynthia came out carrying utensils. She saw the empty spot by Zoe and sat. “Did you have a good time with Alana, sweetie?” she asked, handing everyone silverware.

Zoe blushed, “Yea, I did.” A smile involuntary stretched across her face.

They all made their plates and ate, laughter and chatter filled the air. Cynthia was glowing. Her family was more connected than ever. Dinner hadn’t been like this in so long. Both her children getting along, Connor was actually eating, and life was filling the room. Why hadn’t it been like this before? Her eyes landed on the seat at the head of the table. Oh… She sucked in a breath and swallowed the realization. She’d live in this moment of bliss while it lasted, after all these years, she deserved it.  

“Do you all want to go to shopping for Homecoming?” she asked, hoping to distract herself.

“Sure mom,” the Murphy kids replied.

Evan sat there quietly. He was surprised when Cynthia asked him, “Evan, would you like to come too?” The blonde looked at Connor, searching for an answer, a way out.

Connor shrugged. “Probably be easier if you came, that way we can find complementing suits,” the brunette explained.

Evan nodded. He played with the hem of his shirt, “I’d…I’d love to but um-” Evan tried to find the right set of words that didn’t sound pathetic. How do you tell your boyfriend and his family that you’re too poor to rent a tux?

Connor frowned, understanding Evan’s dilemma.

Cynthia looked at her son’s conflicted face. She smiled kindly, “We can pay for you, Evan.”

The blonde’s eyes widened. “You don’t have to!”

“Nonsense,” Cynthia said cheerfully, “You both should look your best. Especially since you might win homecoming kings.”

“I don’t want to cause trouble,” Evan mumbled.

“It’s no trouble, Evan, really.”

The blonde looked at her. He saw the kindness in those greying blue eyes. Evan slowly smiled. “Okay,” he agreed, letting go of his shirt. Connor’s hand slipped over his.

“It’ll be fun,” the brunette assured.

Zoe smiled at the pair, as did Cynthia.

The rest of dinner passed smoothly, Cynthia forgetting about the empty chair.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor held Evan close to his chest. Moonlight was flooding the room and showered the pair in a sense of calm.

“Will you ever get tired of me?” Evan asked abruptly.

“Fuck no,” Connor replied, making the blonde snort. He pulled the other closer. “Will you get tired of me?”

Evan turned in the brunette’s arms. “Of course not,” he whispered against Connor’s collarbone. “I love you.”

“Love can fade,” the brunette mumbled to himself.  

Evan caught it though, “You’re just as scared as I am, aren’t you? That one of us will get tired of the other and leave. That we’ll be alone again.” Connor’s arms tightening around him was the only answer he got. “I’m not going anywhere, Connor. I don’t care what happened before we were together, it’s not something I’m going to leave you for.”

“You don’t know that,” the brunette whispered.

Evan didn’t want to admit to snooping through his phone. He swallowed a lump in his throat and said, “Yes I do.”

Connor buried his face in Evan’s hair, it smelt like his shampoo. “I’m waiting for the boot to drop, for this to be a weird dream or trip.”

Evan laughed sadly, “I feel the same way.”

Connor frowned, “How can you put up with me?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Evan replied. He rubbed Connor’s back, feeling the bumps from the scratches he had left days ago. His finger ran over the lines and down the brunette’s spine, counting the vertebra. “You need to eat more,” he said unconsciously.

“I know,” Connor answered. He kissed Evan’s forehead, “I’m sorry I’m a mess.”

“At least you’re a hot mess,” Evan giggled.

Connor beamed, “You’re too cute, Evangreen.”

The blonde shifted back to look at his boyfriend. He pulled the brunette’s arm up to examine it. “Connor,” Evan started, “I’m proud of you.”

Said teen laid there in shock, “I haven’t done anything.”

“Exactly,” Evan whispered and kissed the brunette’s wrist.

Connor melted under the touch. “It’s your fault. Your goody two shoesness is rubbing off on me,” he said, a solitary tear running down his cheek.

“I guess I’ll have to keep rubbing against you then,” the blonde teased.

Connor pulled the other into a kiss, “You fucking better.”

Evan turned over and let himself be pulled back against Connor’s chest. Their hands intertwined as their breathing began to synchronize. The blonde slowly relaxed but his mind was racing. He knew why Connor was so insecure about their relationship. He also knew who was making his boyfriend feel that way. Evan glared at the phone resting on the bedside table. A devious smile stretched across his face, he had a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evan's a little shit


	18. Things Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ENJOY! Happy post Superbowl (I guess)!

Evan grabbed his wallet and threw some extra underwear and pants into his bag. It was Wednesday, and Evan had a plan in place. The blonde bit his lip and looked at his phone. Maybe he should- No! this was for Connor and him. He wasn’t going to chicken out, not with a chance in sight. The blonde sucked in a breath and pocketed his phone.

A car horn honking made Evan snap out of his thoughts. He grabbed his bag and ran downstairs. There was no stopping the smile that spread across his face when he saw Connor.

“Hey, cutie, going my way?” his boyfriend teased.

Evan rolled his eyes, making Connor laugh. He hopped into the passenger seat and relaxed against the torn upholstery. The drive was blissfully short, as was the walk to his locker. Evan’s eyes scanned the crowd when brown locked with his. He gave the other teen a sly grin and pressed himself closer to Connor. Brown eyes narrowed, and Evan mouthed ‘Later’ before pulling Connor and himself into the crowd.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan was getting jittery. He wanted to get it over with but knew he had to be patient and stick to his plan. Alana and Zoe had joined them at the lunch table. Jared was cracking terrible jokes and smiles were plastered on everyone’s faces. A hand held his and Evan looked into concerned blue eyes.

“You okay?” Connor asked.

The blonde nodded and put on a smile. He looked at the clock, his leg shaking in anticipation. At 12:10 Evan slipped a note into Connor’s jacket pocket. The brunette looked at his from the corner of his eye but said nothing. Evan got up before the other could ask though. “I’m going to head to the library early,” he said cheerfully and left before the others could comment.

Jared saw Connor’s worried expression. He rolled his eyes. “He probably forgot to write his letter again,” he assured and went back to munching on his fries.

Connor nodded and slipped the note out of his pocket. Scrawled in Evan’s scratchy hand writing was ‘ _Meet me in the greenhouse bathroom at 12:20_ ’. Connor furrowed his brow in confusion and fear began to eat at him. ‘ _He doesn’t want you anymore_ ’ Connor shook his head. No, Evan wouldn’t do it at school. Hell, Connor doesn’t even think Evan could do it in person.

He looked at the clock and got up. “I’m going to make sure he’s okay,” he said.

“You barely ate anything, Connor,” Zoe pointed out, voice soft.

Connor gripped his tray, his knuckles turning white. “I’m not hungry,” he replied between clenched teeth.

Zoe sighed as she watched him walk away. “Did something happen?” Alana asked, her hand gently rubbing Zoe’s back

The female Murphy grimaced. “Someone’s been messing with Connor and it’s really screwing with him mentally. He’s been scared and anxious…worried,” she trailed off and went quiet.

Jared frowned and looked in the direction Connor had left. He forced a smile, “He’ll be okay, Zoe.”

She nodded. The last thing she wanted was for Connor to go back to the way he was. Zoe wouldn’t be able to live with herself if he reverted back.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor climbed the stairs. The greenhouse was on the top floor of their high school. Classes started in the second semester, closer to summer or some shit. Connor never really learned to care, all he knew was that no one came up here during the fall and winter. The bathroom was made so students in the botany courses didn’t have to go to another floor just to piss.

Connor tried to catch his breath. He hated fucking stairs. Connor tasted metal in his mouth. He should have eaten, he should drink more water. The brunette clenched his fist. He waited for his heart to stop racing before going to the bathroom. His hand rested against the door. He steeled his nerves and told himself he’d be okay.

He was a terrible fucking liar.

Connor felt tears prick at his eyes. ‘ _You’re overreacting_!’ he mentally screamed. A little voice in the back of his head added, ‘ _Then again, maybe you’re not_.’ Connor growled and pushed into the bathroom. “Alright, Hansen, what’s-” His question stopped when he saw Evan on the sink counter, wearing only his shirt.

The blonde bit his lip and spread his legs. “Come here,” his voice was low as he beckoned the other to him.

Connor took an uneven step. He threw down his bag and stripped off his jacket. “You’re going to be the fucking death of me, Hansen.” The brunette grabbed the plush thighs and spread them wider, he dug his nails into the skin. “Here I was, scared that you were hurt, or something happened, when in reality,” he nipped at the blonde’s ear, “you just wanted to get fucked.”

Evan shivered. “I’m sorry I made you worry,” he gasped as teeth bit at his ear lobe.

Connor growled at the sincerity in the blonde’s voice. “Just tell me next time,” he begged and unbuttoned his jeans, all fears and anxiety were forgotten in the rush to get inside the blonde.

“Condom,” Evan said, handing one to Connor. “I prepped, so hurry up and get in me.”

The brunette’s eyes widened. “Did you plan this?!” Evan only gave him a devious smile in reply. ‘ _That shouldn’t be hot_ ,’ Connor thought and ripped open the package.

Evan was glad Connor was getting to the point. He needed the Murphy in him, **_now_**. Fingers tangled in mocha hair as Connor pushed into him. The condom made it easier, Connor bottoming out quickly. Evan let his head fall back. “Fuck yea,” he moaned, “Come on, move.”

Connor groaned and dug his nails into Evan’s thighs. He saw the blonde’s blissful expression and began to move with vigor. “You’re going to be limping the rest of the day,” he promised and pulled Evan close. His hands grabbing the blonde’s plush ass. “I’m going to make you fucking scream. You’re going to have to sit and you’ll feel every bruise I’m going to leave on your ass. Gonna remember that I’m the only one that can fuck you like this.”

Evan screamed and clawed at Connor’s back. “Fuck yes! Mark me, tell everyone I’m yours!” he begged and used his legs to help push Connor into him. Electricity shot up his spine as his prostate was hit. “Connor!” he clutched at the brunette as his was fucked into the mirror behind him.

“We’ve got an hour. I’ll bend you over after this and fuck you again,” Connor growled, “My good boy, all mine”

Evan shook his head trying to not let the praise cloud his judgment, “No, we c-Ah!” He pulled at Connor’s hair as teeth dug into his skin. His eyes rolled back, and his mouth hung open in a silent scream. Bleary, hazel eyes then looked at the doorway.

Brown eyes stared back.

Evan smiled devilishly. He began to moan and pant louder into Connor’s ear. If the newly arrived teen made a noise, he didn’t want Connor to hear. “Just like that, harder,” he encouraged. Evan licked his lips and kept eye contact with the other boy. “So good, Connor,” he praised and felt a moan vibrating through the brunette’s teeth.

Evan kissed the side of Connor’s head, fingers tangled in the brown lock. He slowly raised his middle finger to the other boy. “Mine,” he growled, “All mine.” He sunk his teeth into Connor neck, never averting his eyes.

Evan giggled as Luke ran from the bathroom in a panic.

‘ _All mine_.’

 

* * *

 

 

Connor rested on his bed. Streams of moonlight filled his room. It was well past midnight. He couldn’t sleep. Connor and sat up, he might as well go smoke. Hell, it might even help. He grabbed his bag and crept downstairs. The house was so surreal at night. It was too quiet, too peaceful. There was no yelling, no screaming, no crying. Only silence, and Connor loved it.

He went through the sliding glass door and into the backyard. The moon was full and made the world seem even more like a dream. His bag fell quietly against the grass as he sat on the step and looked over the square piece of land. It seemed so small now. It used to be his world, the center of his universe. This is where he’d play with his sister, where his mom would push him on the swings, where his dad would catch him going down the slide. This is where they would have bonfires and barbeques in the summer. This is where Connor learned how to play catch and how to set up a tent. This space, this little space held so many memories.

There was a dead patch of grass where their old playground used to be. He didn’t remember when they got rid of it. It must have been years ago. Connor wondered where that old playground went. He wondered where all the joy and laughter went.

Things change.

A dam broke inside him and Connor choked on his tears. Memories flashed through his mind. He used to be so happy, so kind. Guilt weighed heavily on him. He’d ruined their family, he ruined everything. He sobbed for himself, for his mom, for Zoe. The thought of his sister made even more tears fall. He was supposed to protect her, to be her big brother. He had promised to fight every bully she faced or person she dated. He had promised to always be there for her. Connor hiccupped and tried to calm down. He rummaged through his backpack and accidently found the bottle of pills.

His eyes lingered on the medication. It had been months, and still no one had noticed he had taken it. Even he had forgotten about it. Connor swallowed. He was going to do it after the first day. Watch the sunset one last time and just…

He had promised himself he would do it if nothing changed. Connor gripped the bottle, a sad smile spreading across his face. Nothing was supposed to change. No one was supposed to be with him that day. He wasn’t supposed to be looking for colleges. He wasn’t supposed to be shopping for a homecoming suit. He wasn’t supposed to be here. Connor got up and looked over the bare backyard.

Things change.

The brunette slipped back into the house. He crept to the bathroom and looked at the bottle of pills. His eyes locked with his reflection’s and a voice replayed in his head.

_“I’m happy I’m with you.”_

_“I’m so lucky you came to apologize to me.”_

_“I love you.”_

_“I’m proud of you.”_

Connor opened up the cabinet and put back the pills. Once more, he looked at himself. He could practically feel Evan’s arms around him, the blonde’s words of praise.

Connor hadn’t looked at himself in a long time. He noticed all the changes. The bags under his eyes were lighter, his skin had some color, his neck was littered with hickeys. Thin fingers ran over the dark marks and a wave of longing washed over him.

He wanted to see Evan.  

The brunette crept back downstairs, backpack in tow, and out to his car. The rumble of the engine relaxed him and he back out of the driveway and moved down the street. He bit his lip and wondered if he should call, wondered if he should even go at all. Connor gripped the steering wheel and kept driving. He pulled up to the familiar house and parked.

A few minutes passed. He sat in the car and questioned himself. His thumb rubbed again the house key Heidi had given him.

“ _You’ll always have a home here_.”

Ultimately, he got out of his car and let himself into the house. Connor felt himself relax. He was home. The teen made his way upstairs and to Evan’s room. As he expected, the blonde was asleep. Connor thought it was cute how Evan would curl around whatever he was sleeping beside, in this case a pillow. The brunette stripped off his shoes and jacket before sitting on the edge of the bed. He gently placed a hand on Evan’s shoulder.

“Evan,” he whispered, shaking the boy a bit.

The blonde grumbled and rubbed his eyes. A confused expression on his face. “Connor?” he slurred. Evan yawned and sat up. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

The brunette frowned. He shouldn’t take it to heart, it was a genuine question. A good question to ask. “I can leave,” Connor said, bitterness in his voice. He moved to get up.

Evan shot his hand out and grabbed Connor’s wrist. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he tugged the other toward him. “I just didn’t except you.” Evan smiled sweetly, “Come here,” he urged.

Connor followed and slipped under the blanket, Evan laid his head on Connor’s shoulder. A hand resting over his heart. Connor pulled Evan closer, his fingers running through Evan’s hair. It had gotten a bit longer, to the top of the blonde’s ears.

“I love you,” he whispered. Connor could feel Evan’s smiled against his collarbone.

“I love you too,” the blonde replied and snuggled closer. He easily drifted back to sleep.

Connor relaxed and felt sleep coming to him. A buzzing made him groan. He turned a bit, not wanting to disturb Evan. It was the blonde’s phone. Connor grabbed the device, just to silence it but then saw the number. He glared at the screen. Connor opened the phone, Evan didn’t keep a passcode on it, and scrolled through the texts.

The brunette dropped the device and looked at Evan’s sleeping face. The boy looked like a cherub, sweet and innocent. Connor reread the texts. He couldn’t believe his boyfriend.

He should be mad. He should be livid. He couldn’t help but smile though. Evan had orchestrated this whole afternoon. Evan had planned everything down to the last detail. Connor touched the hickeys on his neck and shuddered.

Evan Hansen could be dangerous.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be really depressing, prepare yourselves


	19. Photographs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the hurt I am about to cause

 

Connor didn’t know how to broach the topic of what Evan did. He decided to just let it go. The day was going smoothly. Classes were fine, everyone was cheerful, and Connor didn’t see a glimpse of Luke.

It was end of the day and they stopped by Evan’s locker.

“Do you want to come over?” Connor asked, leaning against the metal.

Evan smiled, “Sure, we can work on our papers.”

Connor rolled his eyes, “Goody two shoes.”

The blonde opened his locker and gasped when photos fell out. Connor kneeled down to help gather them. When did Evan get these? He froze when he saw what was on them.

Evan looked at them too and visibly cringed.

Connor began to shake. He violently ripped up the picture in his hands and snatched the other ones out of Evan’s.

“Connor,” Evan choked out.

“This is your fault,” the brunette snarled through clenched teeth. He glared at Evan, “This is you’re fucking fault!”

Evan’s eyes widened in terror and flinched as the brunette pointed at him. A flash of remorse passed through those blue eyes before they turned icy. Connor growled, cursing Evan once again before running down the hall. He stuffed the photos in his jacket pockets and hoped no one had seen them.

Evan held the locker to haul himself up. Tears burst from his eyes. He didn’t mean for this to happen. Connor was right, this was all his fault.

“Hey Evan!” Jared greeted. He noticed the blonde’s distress. “Hey, hey, what happened?”

Evan hiccupped, “Can you…can you p-please drive me home.”

Jared nodded and wrapped an arm around the blonde. “Come on,” he said and helped the blonde maneuver the halls.

 

* * *

 

 

The house was dark, and Evan slunk inside. He set down his bag and finally broke down, loud sobbing echoed through the empty rooms. Jared had offered to come in and keep him company, but Evan wouldn’t have been able to hold back if he had asked him what happened. No, Evan chose to suffer in solitude and try to think of a way to fix this. He wanted to find Luke, wanted to make him pay for not only hurting Connor but also photographing it.

Evan hiccupped and tried to wipe at his eyes. He was a mess, an awful mess. Lost and guilty, he decided he needed another plan of action rather than killing the kid. His phone rang though and made his heart stop. Maybe it was Connor, maybe they could work this out. He didn’t even look at the number as he answered, “Hello?!”

“ _Evan fucking Hansen_!” Zoe screamed over the line, making said teen pull the phone away from his ear.

“Z-Zoe?”

“ _Yes, it’s Zoe. What the fuck happened today, Evan_?! _Connor’s a fucking mess. He locked himself in his room and won’t come out. The only reason we know he’s not dead is because we hear shit breaking_!”

Evan’s blood ran cold. He tried to speak but all that came out was a squeak.

“ _Listen, you’re coming over to my fucking house, and fixing this. I don’t care what happened, I don’t care who’s fault it is. You two are going to fucking talk_!”

Evan shivered, remembering the look of rage Connor had given him. “Zoe, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“ _I’m already at your house so get out here_!”

Evan’s eyes widened in terror. He opened the door and sure enough Zoe was there, she had taken Connor’s car.

“Get in, now!” she screamed.

Evan obeyed and got into the familiar passenger seat.

“You going to tell me why my brother came home crying?” she asked through clenched teeth.

“I-” Evan didn’t even know where to begin. So much had happened.

She looked over at him and growled, “Fine.” Zoe sped through the neighborhoods and slammed on the brakes when they got to her house. “I expect a full explanation once you two make up.”

“I don’t think Connor wants to see me!” Evan blurted out.

“I don’t care what he wants! What he needs is to talk to you about whatever the hell’s going on. Cause he won’t fucking talk to me and he sure as hell won’t talk to our parents. You’re the only one that knows what’s happening to him, Evan!” Zoe reasoned and grabbed the blonde.

Evan wanted to argue more but both paused when they saw Cynthia on the doorstep.

“Mom, what happened?” Zoe asked, praying she wouldn’t find a bruise on her mother.

“I…I couldn’t listen to him anymore,” she broke down in sobs. “I can’t stand hearing him like this. I can’t stand not being able to do anything!”

Zoe wrapped he arms around her mother. She glared at Evan and snarled, “Fix this.”

The blonde nodded, this was his fault. He needed to take responsibility. Evan walked into the house and jumped. He could hear Connor. The screaming was heartbreaking and the sound of things shattering was terrifying. Evan made his way up the familiar staircase and to Connor’s door. He didn’t know how to start, didn’t know how to enter.  

He knocked.

The crashing stopped before footsteps stormed up to the door. It was thrown open as Connor screamed, “I said, leave me alone!” He saw a petrified Evan standing in his doorway and stopped. A part of him wanted to pull the blonde into a hug, another part of him wanted to punch his boyfriend in the face. Connor didn’t know which side would win and decided closing the door was the best option. He moved to shut it, but Evan was faster, sticking his foot out.

The blonde yelped in pain, which made Connor open the door fully. “Are you crazy, Hansen-” the brunette gasped as he was pushed into his room, Evan following.

The blonde shut and locked the door, pressing himself against it. The room was a mess, things were flipped over and broken, there were holes in the walls. Evan felt fresh tears well in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed, “I’m sorry, Connor.”

The brunette stood there, remaining quiet.

Evan continued. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault. I-I wanted him to leave you alone. I wanted to show him that what happened to you didn’t make me love you any less. I wanted to show him that you were mine. I’m sorry, if I ever thought-” He chest felt so tight. It was getting harder and harder to breathe as he choked on tears. Hands grabbed his shoulders.

“Look at me, Evan. Copy me,” Connor instructed. It felt natural. They had done this so many times before.

Even tried to match the brunette, slowly calming down. He sniffled and tried to keep talking. “I-I went through your phone. I’m sorry, you were asleep and he was texting you and I was curious. I saw what he had said to you. What he had done. I got so angry. He has no right to talk to you like that, to make you feel like you’re worthless. I-”

Connor pulled him into a tight hug. His body was trembling. Evan didn’t hate him, didn’t think he was disgusting. Evan was sorry, Evan didn’t tell him he was overreacting.

The blonde held onto his boyfriend. “It’s not your fault,” he sobbed into Connor’s neck. The brunette began to try and fight out of his grasp, head shaking. “It’s not your fault. He had no right to hurt you.” Connor was screaming now, tears soaking Evan’s shoulder. He wasn’t fighting against the blonde’s hold anymore. The pair dropped to the floor. “It’s not your fault,” Evan reassured. He rubbed Connor’s back and ran his fingers through the messy curls. “I’m sorry, Connor. It’s not your fault.” Evan held him tighter.

The brunette continued screaming until there was no more air in his lungs. Connor’s throat was raw. His eyes stung from all the tears. Evan continued to whisper to him, over and over again. Connor sobbed and held onto him tighter.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan helped Connor put his room back together, as best they could. He texted Zoe that everything was fine now. Connor was picking up broken glass and trying to think of a way to repair the walls. Evan’s words were still ringing in his head. He didn’t know how much he needed to hear them.

A knock at the door pulled him out of his thoughts. Evan answered it, telling Zoe they’d be down in a minute to talk. Connor didn’t want to tell his mom and sister what happened. Didn’t want them to know how big of a screw up their son and brother was. Evan took his hand.

“You have to, Connor. If they don’t know, they can’t help.”

The brunette nodded. “Okay,” he agreed, and they made their way downstairs.

Cynthia shot up when she saw Connor. “Oh sweetie,” she sobbed and cupped her son’s face. “Please, talk to me,” she begged through tears, “Please.”

Connor didn’t know where to start. He shakily took out one of the photos. His mother’s eyes grew wide and more tears gathered in them.

“Did…did you want this?” she asked, voice breaking. Connor shook his head. His mother’s arms wrapped around him. Zoe’s heart broke at the picture and she held her brother too. Evan stood by the couch and simply watched them.

“We- we need to file a police report. We need to tell your father.”

Connor’s eyes widened, “No, you can’t tell him!”

“Connor,” Zoe touched his arms. Her brother pushed it off though.

“No, Zoe! You know what he’ll say? He’ll ask, why was I such an idiot? Why couldn’t I keep my legs closed? Why couldn’t I have just been good and stayed home? Why couldn’t I have just been straight and normal? I’m not giving that bastard any more ammunition than he already has!” Connor screamed.

Cynthia wanted to believe that Connor was exaggerating. She wanted to tell her son that his father would understand. The problem was, she couldn’t. Cynthia pulled her son back into a hug. “We’re going to file a police report. We need this on record, Connor. In case he tries to harass you again, or Evan.” The trio looked at the blonde. That was the push Connor needed, “Okay, okay.”

 

* * *

 

 

Evan and Zoe sat in the waiting room of the sheriff’s office. Cynthia and Connor were both talking to an officer. Evan had his head in his hands and his leg was bouncing. “It’ll be okay Evan,” Zoe said and patted the blonde’s back.

The officer walked out and walked over to the pair. “Are you Evan?” he asked. Said teen nodded. “I need you to come with me, son,” the officer said. He took Evan into a room next to Connor’s and sat him down at a table.

“I’m officer Morgan,” the man began, setting up a recorder. He said his name again and date before sitting down. The officer told Evan to say his name and the date too. He set down a notepad and sat across from Evan. “Alright, Evan, I need you to tell me what happened today.”

The blonde took a deep breath. “The whole day was normal. We-we went to my locker at the end of the day, because I put my books away, and the pictures fell out.”

“So someone slipped them in there?”

Evan nodded, “Or they broke into my locker. I don’t know which.”

Officer Morgan nodded and wrote in his notepad. “How long have you known about the assault?”

Evan cringed. “A-about a month.”

Officer Morgan raise an eyebrow, “How did you find out?”

“I looked through Connor’s phone,” he saw the officer’s confused expression and explained, “The guy was messaging Connor and taunting him about the…” he went quiet. 

Officer Morgan nodded. “Alright, son. Do you know the man who did this?”

“His name’s Luke,” Evan said.

“And how do Luke and Connor know each other?”

Evan’s blood ran cold. He couldn’t say that Luke had been Connor’s drug dealer. The teen settled on, “They dated.”

The officer nodded and wrote it down. He sighed and stopped the recording. “Connor doesn’t want to press charges, but this is a serious crime. We are going to look over the school cameras and see what we can find. If it turns out that this Luke really did plant these in your locker, it’s a serious offence. If there is something you are not telling me, I need to know now.”

Evan shook his head, “I’ve told you everything, sir.”

Officer Morgan nodded. “Alright son, let’s get you back out there. Your boyfriend needs you right now.” He got up and held open the door for Evan. 

The blonde was surprised when he saw his mother. “Mom?” Heidi snapped her attention to her son. “Oh honey,” she wrapped her boy in her arms. “What are you doing here?” he asked. Heidi gave him a sad smile, “Mrs. Murphy called me.”

“Mom,” Connor said.

Both woman snapped their attention to him. “Yes, dear?” they asked in unison, shocking the other.

The teens chuckled at the exchange. Connor sadly laughed, “I guess I have to specify.” He looked at Cynthia, “Mom-mom, can I spend the night at other mom’s house?”

Both Zoe and Evan snorted.

Cynthia smiled, “Of course, dear.” She watched her son follow Evan outside, a deep frown on her face.

“Mrs. Murphy,” Heidi said, “it was nice to finally meet you. I’m sorry about that, Connor’s been calling me mom for over a month now. Replying is just a force of habit.” She stuck out her hand.

Cynthia took it. The woman’s palms were rough from working. Her hazel eyes seemed to glimmer with life, unlike Cynthia’s dulled blues. Connor had only started to call her ‘mom’ consistently for a couple weeks. She swallowed a deep ache in her chest and smiled. “Call me Cynthia, please.”


	20. Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all need this fluff, I apologize in advance for the next two chapters

 

Heidi led the boys inside. “Evan,” she said to get her son’s attention, “I need to go back to work.”

Evan nodded, “Okay, mom.” A wave of emotions washed over him. He hugged his mother, surprising her.

Heidi smiled and wrapped her arms around her child. “I’ll be back in the morning,” she assured.

Connor watched them. His heart melted but there was also a bitter taste in the back of his throat. It was a pang of envy that he swallowed down in disgust.

Evan waved his mother goodbye and looked at Connor from the corner of his eye. He saw the frown plastered on the brunette’s face and turned away. The door shut quietly, and the lock’s click echoed in the silence. Evan gasped as thin arms wrapped around his waist. Lips pressed against his shoulder, simply resting there against the fabric of his shirt. Trembling hands traveled upward. One clutched at his side and the other pressed over his heart. Evan leaned into the touch and smiled when he heard a sigh of relief against neck.

Evan turned around and placed his hands on Connor’s hips. “Let’s go upstairs,” he suggested. Connor nodded and followed the blonde to his room.

 

* * *

 

 

They didn’t go to school the next day.

Connor couldn’t handle the thought of seeing Luke, or of Evan getting hurt. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Evan got dragged into this more than he already was.

The brunette tightened his arms around Evan. His boyfriend was sleeping soundly. Evan’s eyes moved behind his eyelids. Connor wondered what the blonde was dreaming about. He wondered if he was in it. Connor sighed, he should fall back asleep. What time is it? How long had he slept? Was Zoe going to yell at him when he got home?

A wave of guilt washed over him. Jesus, he had torn up his room and probably scared his mother and sister shitless. Connor fought back tears. He was such a fuck up. Dammit, his mom probably cried, Zoe was probably pissed. Connor struggled to pull away from Evan. That warmth, that feeling of safety, how the blonde grounded him, he never wanted to leave Evan’s side.

That wasn’t healthy.

Connor never thought he’d have a codependency problem. He never thought he’d have someone to latch onto. Connor tried to blink the tears out of his eyes. He slipped to the edge of the bed and tried to calm down. The room was growing brighter as sunlight streamed in through the cracks in the curtains. Connor tried to breathe, his shoulders began to shake.

He was going to have to go home. He was going to have to face his sister and mother. Connor choked, Larry would find out. He just knew it. Connor sobbed, he might have to talk to the police again. Luke was an idiot, he probably got caught on one of the school cameras. What if he told the cops that Connor bought drugs from him? What if he went after Evan? What if he tried to go after Zoe while Connor wasn’t at school?

Tears streamed down his face. He was supposed to protect her. He was supposed to be her big brother, her rock. Connor wanted to scream, wanted to start over. He wanted to tell his mother how much he loved her. Wanted to tell Zoe how sorry he was. His family was going to be dragged into another mess of his making. Connor clawed at his arm. He had throw away all his razors, he knew wouldn’t be able to resist temptation. God, he was fucking regretting it. The urge to tear into his skin and let out all his demons was suffocating. It was an unholy itch his mind demanded he scratch. Connor dug his nails deeper into his flesh, hoping he would bleed.

A gentle hand covered his. It pulled his damaging nails away. Connor could feel how Evan’s hand shook against his. Lips pressed against his shoulder, resting there. “You can cry. You’re allowed to cry,” a small voice whispered. Connor choked, “I don’t want to cry anymore.” He curled into himself, “I don’t want to cry anymore.”

Warm arms wrapped around him. He felt hot tears on his back. “Evan,” he tried to turn but Evan’s broken voice stopped him.

“I’m sorry.”

Connor laughed, trying to breathe. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You aren’t the one who was dumb enough to trust a drug dealer. You aren’t-”

“Shut up,” Evan seethed. His arms tightened around Connor. “It doesn’t matter who he is. It doesn’t matter what you did. It doesn’t fucking matter!” Evan got up and stood in front of Connor. He held the brunette’s face. “It doesn’t fucking matter that you fucked him for drugs. It doesn’t matter that you took drugs. It doesn’t matter what you did. No one has the right to hurt someone like that!” Fresh tears rolled down Evan’s face. “What if it where me? What if it was the same thing but with me instead of you? Would you feel the same about it? Would you think it was my fault and I deserved it?”

“Of course not!” Connor answered and gripped Evan’s wrists. Those hazel eyes gave him a pleading look. Connor’s shoulders laxed. He nodded, “Okay, okay, I get it.”

Evan sighed. He placed a kiss on Connor’s forehead. “Try to remember, whenever you start thinking like that, try to remember.” Evan hugged the brunette. “Please try to remember,” he begged. Connor pulled him into his lap. Evan placed kisses on Connor’s hair. “I love you,” he whispered into the brown waves, “I love you.”

Connor pressed his face into Evan’s thin t-shirt. “I know, I know, I’ll try.” He began to rock back and forth. Evan pushed him against the mattress. Connor fell back, his hands falling on Evan’s hips. Those warm lips pressed against his cheeks, his jaw, his lips. They were innocent and fleeting. “What are you doing?” Connor asked, feeling his heart swell with warming.

“Loving you,” Evan answered. He placed another kiss on Connor’s forehead. “I’m going to smother you with affection until you love yourself as much as I do.”

Connor was taken aback. He smiled though, “that might take a while.”

“Good thing I don’t plan on going anywhere,” Evan whispered and laid a kiss on Connor heart. He felt it fluttering under his lips.

Connor smiled, his new tears weren’t filled with sorrow.  “Promise?” his hands ran up Evan’s side. The blonde merely smiled down at him before going in for a kiss. This one wasn’t chaste or fleeting. It was filled with raw emotion and made Connor swoon.

“Promise.”


	21. The Text

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel so sadistic, toying with your guy's emotions. I'm also a masochist though because I'm writing this shit and hurting myself. Anyway, next chapter is going to be pain and fluffy. If you don't think I can do both, you are wrong, good sir.

Connor pulled into the driveway and his heart stopped. Larry’s car was back, he wasn’t supposed to be back yet. He was supposed to come back next week. He wasn’t supposed to be here! Connor got out the car, his gut wrenching. He’d be quiet. He’d be stealthy. Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t be caught. He quietly opened the door and tried to tip toe to his room.

“Connor?”

Said teen tensed up. Fuck. He turned and saw his mother. Her eyes were red and tear stains had cut through her makeup. He could feel his heart break in two. Connor moved and wrapped his arms around her. Thin arms wrapped around him in turn. Cynthia buried her face in the crook of her son’s neck. “When did you get so tall?” she asked, her throat tightening.

Connor chuckled, “I don’t know.”

Cynthia pulled back and smiled up. Two sets of blue eyes swirled with a mix of adoration but also a deep sadness. “Your father wants to see you, he’s in his study.” A look of betrayal flashed over Connor’s face. Cynthia quickly explained, “The police called. He got to the phone before I could, I’m sorry Connor.”

The teen nodded, “It’s not your fault mom.” He held her hands, “I’m sorry I made you cry. I’m sorry I freaked out and scared you and Zoe.”

Cynthia’s eyes widened. Connor had never apologized like this. She swallowed and tried to find her voice. “You…it’s okay Connor. I probably would have reacted the same way.”

“No, it’s not okay. I shouldn’t…” Connor squeezed her hand, “I shouldn’t make you and Zoe cry. I shouldn’t hurt you. I shouldn’t…” His blue eyes pleaded for his mother to understand him. There was no way he could string his thoughts into words, at least not right now.

Cynthia understood. She smiled and placed a hand on her son’s cheek. Her heart melted when Connor nuzzled into her palm. It had been so long since she felt this connected with her boy. So many years...wasted…and distant. She pulled away. “Go see your father then head to bed, you need to go to school tomorrow.”

Connor nodded. He was dreading the talk he was going to have with Larry. A shaky breath was taken in before he rapt his knuckles against the door.

“Come in,” a voice from inside called.

Connor gripped the door handle. He turned it and felt his stomach drop. Anxiety raced through his veins, he didn’t know what to expect. Larry stood behind the large wood desk. Connor remembered playing behind that desk, pretending he was a businessman. The days where Zoe would be his secretary and bring him papers. She’d steal a pair of their mother’s heels, her little arms wrapped around old newspapers their parents had given them. Connor would scribble on them and use his father’s stamps before demanding coffee over their walkie-talkies, it was their own makeshift intercom. Sometimes Larry would play along, be an investor that needed Connor to lend him money. Larry would make up fun businesses, an ice cream toy store or a puppy playground. Connor couldn’t remember ever saying ‘no’ to any of Larry’s ideas.

Those memories left a deep ache in his chest and a bitter taste in his mouth. “Mom said you wanted to talk to me.”

Larry nodded. “The police called, about your case. They have video of that…boy breaking into Evan’s locker.” He looked his son up and down, “You weren’t going to tell me, were you?”

Connor bit the inside of his cheek. His fist clenched, and he became rigged under Larry’s piercing gaze. “No, I wasn’t going to.”

The older man frowned deeply. He sighed. “Do you know why I’m back early?” He watched Connor shake his head before continuing. “I have a coworker, a good man, nice guy. Michael Goodman, do you remember him?” Once again Connor shook his head. Larry shrugged, “He came for Christmas when you were around nine, brought his daughter, she’s around your age.”

Larry got back on track, “You two were a lot alike.” Connor quirked an eyebrow at that. “She was…troubled, like you. Mike and I talked about you two, we saw eye to eye on a lot of things. We thought that all our kids needed was some tough love and discipline, it’d fix them right as rain.” Larry grimaced.

“Was?”

Larry swallowed, “She killed herself last night. They found her hanging in her closet, she left a note for Mike. It was…heartbreaking to say the least. Chelsea, Mike’s wife, found her.” Larry reached into his pants pocket and pulled out the bottle of pills. He set them on the desk.

Connor’s eyes widened.

“I had been looking for these,” Larry gestured to the bottle, “for a while now. I thought I had taken them all and just forgot. Then I come home and they’re sitting in the cabinet, right where I had left them before.” He looked at his son, tears gathering in his eyes. “When?”

Connor’s lip quivered, “The first day of school. I…I was going to do it then.”

“Where?” Larry asked heartbroken.

Connor began to cry, “At the orchard. I wanted to see the sunset one last time, fall asleep…”

Larry frowned, “You didn’t even want to die at home.” He sniffled and wiped at his eyes. “Why didn’t you?” he asked.

Connor shrugged. “I met Evan, I had pushed him. I wanted to say sorry before I…I didn’t want his only memory of me was pushing him into the lockers.” He laughed sadly, “Everything just kind of happened. He…he was crying, and I comforted him and then we started talking. I was going to leave, still do it, but I offered him to come along. I figured if he said ‘no’, I’d go through with it, a sign from the universe or something. I never thought he’d say ‘yes’.”

Larry nodded. “Where you still planning to after?”

Connor nodded, “I was. I was going to the next day, but I spent the night at his house. I kept putting it off till the next day and then, before I knew it, I forgot they were even in my bag. I found them a couple days ago…I put them back.”

Larry sniffled, trying to keep himself together. “Do you want a male or female doctor?”

Connor’s head snapped up, “What?”

“Your psychiatrist, would you prefer male or female?” Larry asked again.

Connor was taken aback. He registered the words and answered, “F-female, I think female would be better.”

Larry nodded. “Go to bed son, you have school tomorrow.”

Connor moved toward the door, “Okay.”

“Connor,” Larry said to get his son’s attention. “I’m glad you met Evan.”

The brunette smiled, “Me too, dad.” He left the room, closing the door behind him.

Larry stood there, shell shocked. He fell into his leather chair; a hand covered his mouth. His eyes stared at the bottle of pills. Heart clenching, he reached out and took them. Shaky hands pulled took out a key and unlocked the bottom drawer of his desk. He placed the bottle inside. His eyes lingered on the old drawings. ‘Puppy Playground’ was scribbled on the printer paper in big red letters, the ‘r’ was backwards and the ‘u’ looked more like a ‘v’. A tear hit the drawing, soaking the crayon covered paper. He shut the drawer and locked it.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor pulled up to Evan’s house. He smiled when the blonde came out, that same satchel over his shoulder. Connor gripped the steering wheel. “Morning,” he greeted. Evan got into the passenger side. He moved over and kissed Connor. He relished in the brunette moan. Evan pulled back, “Morning.”

Connor chuckled, “Damn, Hansen.”

Evan giggled and sat back.

Connor drove and soon enough they were parking. They walked into the school. Everyone was staring at them. Connor hoped Zoe didn’t tell anyone. Once they made it to Evan’s locker, they saw why.

It was destroyed.

The metal door was caved in and hanging off the hinges. The books that were inside were torn up, broken. The flyers Alana had made of them were scattered all around the floor. Evan leaned down and picked one up. He glared at the paper. His face was blacked out and Connor’s eyes were ripped out. The words ‘FAGS’ and ‘SLUT’ were scribbled all over them in big black letters.

Evan turned around and looked through the sea of gawking students. He couldn’t see Luke anywhere. His fist clenched, crumbling the flyer. A hand took his. He looked at Connor’s calm expression and felt himself relax. Evan sighed and took out his destroyed history book. He held Connor’s hand as they walked to their first class together.

“Evan!” Jared screamed, catching up to them. “Are you okay?! I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for two days.” He glared at Connor, “And you! Why did I find him crying by himself the other day, you fucking asshole!”

Evan stepped in, “Jared, don’t be mad at him. A…a lot of shit happened.”

Jared gave him a confused look. “What kind of shit? Shit like that?” he asked, pointing to Evan’s locker.

Evan nodded. He didn’t know how much detail Connor was okay with. Vague as possible would probably be for the best.

Connor frowned, “He’s right though, I shouldn’t have left you.”

Evan’s eyes widened. “Connor, I’m not mad at you,” he assured.

“I know, I’m mad at myself though. I’m sorry.” He rubbed his thumb over Evan’s knuckles.

“Hey,” Jared said to get their attention, “you two are really cute and all, but there’s still the issue of Evan’s locker being torn to shreds.”

Evan nodded, “Yeah, I’ll probably be called to the office.”

Speak of the devil. The intercom came to life, “ _Will Evan Hansen please come to the office, Evan Hansen to the office please_.”

“Fuck,” the blonde said, making Jared gape and Connor chuckle.

“I’ll come with you,” the male Murphy said and followed Evan down the halls.

Jared rolled his eyes, “Fine, just leave me behind then.” He looked back at the crowd around Evan’s locker. His eyes narrowed when he saw a blonde boy with a large smile splitting his face.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan sat at the lunch table, gazing down at his food solemnly. The school said he had to pay for the book that got ruined, even if it wasn’t his doing. It was funny to watch Connor tear into the principal about it, still, Evan had to come up with the money. Both Zoe and Connor offered to help him, even Jared said he’d throw in a few bucks. Evan felt bad about them offering to help, but he also knew his mom couldn’t afford to pay for five textbooks.

The blonde sighed and a hand wrapped around his. He smiled as Connor gave him a reassuring squeeze. Evan rested his head on Connor’s shoulder and tried to relax.

Zoe smiled at the two, as did Jared, he would never admit it though.

Evan wanted to stay here, in this peace and tranquility. He wanted to stay at this table, surrounded by his friends and the person he loved. Talking began anew. Zoe was down because Alana couldn’t come to lunch today, yearbook or something of the like. Jared was trying to find a new car. Evan smiled, he felt like a normal teenager for once, and it was glorious.

His phone buzzed abruptly. The blonde looked at his pocket curiously. He fished it out and glared at the message.

 **540 - 787- XXXX** : _Come to the third floor_


	22. Falling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of pain and a splash of fluff, enjoy!

 

Connor watched Evan walk away. He wondered if Heidi had come to the school. The brunette frowned as his boyfriend became lost in the sea of students.

“Aw come on, homicidal hubby, he won’t be gone forever,” Jared assured.

Connor rolled his eyes, “Go choke on a chod.”

Jared gasped, “How dare you disrespect my blowjob skills!”

Connor burst out laughing, “Shut up, Kleinman.”

Zoe chuckled, happy that her brother was getting along with the trash mouthed boy.

They ate in relative peace for a while until Alana ran up to the table, slamming her hands on it. “Where’s Evan?!” she asked urgently.

“He left to go do something. What happened?” Connor felt his gut twist.

Alana franticly explained, “I heard from Jason, that Matt told him, that Luke was going to fight Evan today on the third floor!”

“There’s no way that can be true,” Jared said, “how would he get in contact with Evan.”

Connor’s eyes widened. He shot up and raced out the lunch room.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan scaled the steps. Luke was waiting for him at the top. The other blonde took a few steps back, so Evan could stand on the landing.

“Wow, you actually showed up, you’ve got some guts,” Luke sneered.

Evan looked between the two boys behind the other, “More guts than you. You really needed backup?”

Luke shrugged, “Unlike you, I’m not dumb enough to come alone. Connor can be dangerous.” He gave Evan a triumphant smile, “Why do you think I had to drug him.”

A knot formed in Evan’s gut. He growled, “They caught you on camera.” His hazel eyes narrowed at the boy, “They saw what you did the other day. They know you put those pictures in my locker. They know what you did to Connor.” He stomped toward the boy, going toe to toe with the taller boy. The look of shock on Luke’s face was deeply satisfying, “And if for a second you think you’ll get away with this, you’re dead fucking wrong, asshole. What you did was pure evil and if you think for a second, I would ever blame Connor, you’ve lost your damn mind!”

Luke took a step back but Evan followed.

“You’re nothing! A disgusting creep who thinks he’s untouchable. Well guess what, you’re not.” Evan smiled, “You’re going to go to jail, maybe then you’ll know how Connor feels.” He moved back, face red and fist clenched. “Stay away from my boyfriend, or else,” He warned and turned to go back downstairs.

He shouldn’t have turned his back.

Evan gasped as firm hands pressed against his shoulders. His feet went out from under him. The world seemed to move in slow motion as the stairs came closer.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor raced up the step. His lungs were burning, and his mind was racing. “ _Be okay. Be okay. Be okay. Be okay_!”

The brunette ran onto the landing and saw Evan tumbling down the stairs. He screamed and watched as Evan bounced on the steps. Blood splattered on the tile and Evan’s body made a sickening crack as it impacted before rolling down the rest of the steps. Connor scrambled to grab the blonde and stop him from falling anymore. “Evan?!” he screamed. The blonde’s eyes were rolled in the back of his head. Connor began to hyperventilate as blood coated his hands. “Oh god, Evan!” He maneuvered the blonde onto the landing.

“Connor, don’t move him!” Alana screamed in horror. She sank next to Connor. “He probably has a concussion.” She pulled out her phone and dialed 911.

Connor looked up and saw Luke on the landing. Zoe joined them and began to panic over Evan, as did Jared. She saw how Evan’s cheek was smashed, probably broken from the fall. His eyes were nearly white.

“Connor,” Zoe said to get her brother’s attention. She looked at him with tears in her eyes. There was blood on the stairs and a wave of anger ran through her. “Go kick his ass, big brother.”

Connor screamed and raced up the step, throwing his entire body weight against Luke, knocking the blonde to the floor. His fists began to fly, smashing into the blonde’s face. Hands grabbed at him and Connor tried to shake them off. One of the boys grabbing him was knocked down by Jared, the other brunette began to punch and kick Luke’s lackey which resulted in him receiving a few punches too.

The other boy was taken down by Zoe who shot through the air like a bullet. She latched onto the boy’s back and began to slap and claw at any flesh she could get to. There was screaming and horrifying noises as the six teens punched and grappled at each other. Connor growled as Luke landed a hit but that didn’t stop his blind rage as he smashed his fist into the other’s face. There was blood on his knuckles, he couldn’t tell if it was his or Luke’s and he didn’t care. All he wanted to do was destroy the boy that dare hurt his Evan.

Jared was kicking the other boy in the stomach. Zoe was clawing at the other henchman’s eyes.

“Break it up! BREAK IT UP!” an older voice screamed. Older hands grabbed at the teens. Connor howled and kicked back, “Let me go! I’m going to kill him! LET ME GO!” Tears streamed down his eyes as the resource office grappled him to the ground.

“They pushed Evan down the fucking stairs!” he heard Jared scream.

Connor looked down the steps and saw Evan being loaded onto a stretcher. “Evan, I’m sorry!” he cried. He wanted those hazel eyes to look at him, wanted a smile. Evan’s expression didn’t change though. “EVAN WAKE UP!” he screamed, choking on his tears as he was handcuffed. “Please!” he sobbed, “Please let me ride in the ambulance with him!” He was hauled to his feet, arms behind his back. “He’ll panic if he wakes up alone!” Connor called to the EMTs. “Don’t let him wake up alone!” he begged, “Don’t let him wake up alone!”

Connor watched as Evan disappeared from sight.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor sniffled, dried blood messing with his nose. Jared and Zoe sat beside him, also handcuffed. Connor folded in on himself and cried. “It’s my fault, oh god, it’s all my fault.”

“Connor, it’s going to be okay,” Zoe assured.

“What if he’s paralyzed? What if he’s in a coma?” Connor sobbed, “Oh god.”

“Shut up,” Jared growled.

Connor looked at him with wide eyes.

“Evan wouldn’t want you freaking the fuck out. Get ahold of yourself, he’s going to be fine!” Jared insisted, tears streaming down his face. His whole body was shaking, “Evan survived a sixty-foot tree, he can survive a fucking flight of stairs.”

Connor swallowed, tasting the blood in his throat.

Alana walked into the office. She looked at all three of them. Connor and Jared had it the worse, both bloodied and bruised, Zoe had a few cuts and a busted lip. She felt tears gathering in her eyes.

“Is he okay?” Connor asked franticly.

Alana grimaced, “I don’t know.”

The other three deflated at the words.

“MURPHYS, KLEINMAN!” the principal raved, “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU ALL THINKING?!”

“They pushed Evan DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!” Jared roared, making everyone jump.

The principal sighed, “All of your parents are coming. You’re all suspended for three days, out of school.”

“That’s bullshit!” Zoe screamed.

“You all shouldn’t have fought!” the principal shot back.

“Maybe if you took bullying seriously here, this wouldn’t have fucking happened,” Connor pointed out.

“If we did, you would have been expelled by now,” the older man growled.

“Fuck you!” Zoe screamed and tried to lunge at the principal. The man jumped back in fright.

“Four days!” he proclaimed.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor raced through the corridors, despite his family’s calls. He saw Heidi and ran to her, “Mom!” he called. She opened her arms, holding the boy to her. “Oh Connor, your face!” The brunette smiled through his tears, “You should see the other guy.”

Heidi pulled him into a tight hug. She saw Jared and sobbed, “Oh honey.” She pulled him into a hug as well. “Hi Miss. H.”

Zoe smiled at Miss. Hansen. The blonde woman gave her one in turn and hugged her as well, “Thank you all for fight for my boy.” She looked at the door, Evan’s name written in scribbled letter.

“Is he awake?” Connor asked, hands trembling.

Heidi nodded, “He has a mild concussion and a broken cheekbone.” She smiled, “He’s always been very lucky.”

“Can we see him?”

Heidi chuckled, “Well, he’s kind of…high right now.”

All three teens quirked an eyebrow.

“He’s on a lot of pain killers,” Heidi explained, “so, when he acts a little funny, just know it’s because of that.” She opened the door. “Honey, your friends are here to see you.”

All shuffled into the small room. Evan was moving his arms through the air. He was hooked up to IVs and his entire head was bandaged. Evan finally noticed the new people in his room. “FWIENDS!” he slurred, cotton in his mouth. “Mom, it’s my fwiends!” he cried, “I have such good fwiends.”

“Aw,” Zoe said, hand over her heart.

Evan’s eyes locked on Connor. He smiled and screamed, “Mom! You bwought me an angel!” Evan waved, “Come ‘ere pwetty angel. I wan’ hugs, pwease, pwease!”

Jared burst out laughing and began to wheeze. He would never admit how adorable that was. He gained some breath to tease Connor, “You heard him, pretty angel, go give him a hug.” He nudged said teen’s side.

“Don’t be mean to my angel!” Evan screamed and swiped at the air.

Connor couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face. “How high are you?” he asked, moving to be by Evan’s side.

“I’m 5’9”, silly,” the blonde slurred, making everyone giggled.

Connor sat on the side of the bed. “I’m going to tell you all about this when you sober up.” He held Evan’s hand, it felt so cold.

“Will you be my boyfwiend?” Evan asked.

“We’re already dating,” Connor answered and kissed the chilled fingertips.

Evan gasped, “Weally?!” He looked at Jared, “Jawed! Jawed! I’m dating an angel!”

Connor beamed, “No, I am.”

It took a moment for Evan to register the comment. When he did, he giggled and squeezed Connor’s hand, “We can both be angels.”

Connor placed a kiss on Evan’s forehead, “I’d like that.” He hugged the blonde and listened to the happy sigh he got in turn. Evan was okay.

They were going to be okay.


	23. Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter!!!

 

Heidi wiped at her eyes as she watched Evan cling to Connor.

“Heidi!” a voice called from the hallway. She stepped out her son’s room to see the nurse practitioner waiting. “Oh, Jennifer, I’m sorry. My son’s in there. I’ll get back to-”

A warm hand rested on Heidi’s shoulder. “I know,” the older woman smiled, “you can have the rest of the day off.”

“No, no, I can work,” Heidi tried to insist. Jennifer stopped her though, “Heidi, your boy needs his mother.” She leaned a bit closer and added, “And you need your boy.”

Heidi felt her heart melt. She nodded through tears, “Just let me check on 545 first.”

Jennifer sighed, a smile on her face, “Alright, afterward clock off and be with your son.”

“I will,” Heidi wiped at her eyes and collected herself before checking on the other teenage boy in her wing. His room was right next to Evan’s. She walked in to find a portly man crying in the chair beside the bed. He was dressed in a suit, probably had been called in from work. The poor man looked a mess.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Heidi said, about to leave.

The man stopped her though. “Oh, no, no, I’m sorry.” He wiped his face dry. “I’m sorry, I just,” he looked at his sleeping son. “I got a call saying he had been electrocuted. I thought…” he trailed off and looked up at Heidi, tears still in his eyes. He sucked in a deep breath, “I’m just happy he’s going to be okay.”

Heidi smiled. “He will be. It looks bad but, he’ll be okay,” she assured and moved to check the boy’s vitals. Heidi was saw that everything was in order and turned to the man. “It’s all clear here.”

The man’s head snapped up. He saw how it made Heidi jumped. He quickly spouted out, “I’m sorry. Heere is just my last name.”

Heidi giggled, “Really? That must come with a lot of puns.”

“Oh, it does,” the man confirmed, a smile now plastered on his face. He looked at his son then back up at Heidi, “Thank you, for taking such good care of my son.”

Heidi looked at him in shock. “Of course, has anyone treated him poorly?” she asked, the mother in her showing.

The man noticed and commented on it. “You’re a mother, aren’t you?” he asked, a bit of sadness in his voice.

Heidi blushed, “It’s obvious, huh.” 

“Your child is lucky. Their mother seems to be an amazing woman,” the man commented. “Your husband too.”

Heidi frowned, “No husband.” She looked at the boy in the bed. “He has a good father,” she looked around the room and asked, “Is your wife not here?”

The man frowned, “No wife I’m afraid.” He looked at Jeremy. “She left,” his frown deepened, “It’s hard.”

“I know the feeling,” Heidi said. She placed the boy’s chart back. “What’s your name?” she asked.

The man looked up and smiled. “Joseph, Joseph Heere.”

Heidi beamed, “Hansen, Heidi Hansen.” She moved to shake his hand and she felt her heart flutter at the contact. The smile on her face didn’t falter, it couldn’t. She stepped back. “Well, I’ll probably be seeing you again,” there was hopeful tone in her voice.

Joseph was overjoyed, “I would like that.”

 

* * *

 

 

Evan woke up to the sound of a heart monitor. How long was he out? Where was he?

Luke!

Evan shot up and winced. Every part of his body screamed in unison. He flopped back onto the bed. “Fuck!” he groaned out and whimpered, his mouth hurt. Everything fucking hurt! Evan took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He was pissed though, that bitch had pushed him down the fucking stairs!

Evan sighed, he wondered where everyone was. What time was it? He looked at the clock and saw 9:00 am. Geez, it was early. Everyone was probably at school. He wondered who found him. Was it Connor? Jared? Zoe? The thoughts were becoming too much. He needed a distraction. The blonde wondered what he could do to preoccupy himself. He thought about sleeping again, but that probably wouldn’t be good for him. Evan stared up at the ceiling for a while, counting the dots. A noise made his attention snap to the door though.

“Ah! Sorry, wrong room!” the teen said, putting his hands up. He was lanky and dressed in hospital pajamas.

Another patient. Evan shrugged, “It’s okay.”

The boy relaxed and looked around the space. “Wow, you’re room’s bigger than mine.” He grinned, “I guess they play favorites here, huh?”

Evan smiled, “I am a nurse’s son, so…”

Both teens chuckled. The boy pointed to the chair by Evan’s bed. “Can I sit?” he looked at the door, “I really don’t want to be alone right now.”

Evan felt the same and nodded, “S-sure.” He was going to move his hand to gesture but found it stiff and uncooperative.

The boy sat down, “I’m Jeremy, by the way.”

“Evan,” the blonde replied. Both boys sat in an awkward silence.

“So,” Jeremy began, he waved his hand at the other, “what are you in for?”

Evan gave him a hopeless smile, “My boyfriend’s shitty ex pushed me down the stairs.”

“Seriously?!” Jeremy’s eyes were wide, and his jaw hung open in shock. “I hope he got his ass kicked.”

Evan laughed, “Hopefully, I guess I’ll find out today.” He looked at the boy up and down. “What about you?”

Jeremy frowned. “It’s, it’s complicated. Just…don’t ever take a pill from Japan!” 

Evan’s was taken aback by the outburst. He didn’t understand but knew the other teen was serious. “Why would I do that?”

“Cause, you’re an idiot that wanted to be cool,” Jeremy grumbled and put his chin on his fist.

Evan noticed the jagged scars running up the brunette’s arm. “Is that from the pill?” he asked.

Jeremy swallowed and nodded, “Yea. It may shut off, but it electrocutes you on the way out.”

“Well, that must have been shocking,” Evan quickly closed his mouth. A horrified expression on his face.

“Did you just make a pun!”

“I’m so sorry.”

Jeremy snorted and laughed wholeheartedly, Evan joined in. the pale teen wiped at his eyes, “Man, I needed that.”

“Same here,” Evan said. He liked this kid. He was just as awkward as Evan. The two chatted for a while before Connor entered the room.

The pair hadn’t noticed him yet and he was confused as to how another patient found his way into Evan’s room. “Ugh?”

Evan looked up. “Connor!” he greeted cheerfully before turning to Jeremy, “This is Connor. Connor, this is Jeremy.”

“I see you’re lucid,” Connor said and moved to stand beside Evan’s bed. “You were super high yesterday. Alana took some videos, it was really funny.”

Evan finally got a good look at Connor’s face. “What happened?!” he screamed and tried to pull the other teen closer.

Connor sat on the bed. “I kicked Luke’s ass, douche got in a few punches though.”

Jeremy looked between the two, confused about whether or not he should be here. A loud interruption saved him from the awkwardness however.

“Jeremy Jeremiah Heere!” Michael screamed, “Why are you out of bed?!”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Calm down, Micha.” He looked at Evan, “That’s Michael.”

Evan smiled, “Oh, he is cute.”

“Right?!” Jeremy said.

“Your adorableness will not distract me and flattery will get you nowhere!” Michael marched over to the other. “Now come on, back in bed with you!”

“But Micha!” the teen whined, “I need to move around.”

“No whining!” the tan teen ordered as he ushered the other out of the room. He looked at Evan, “Thanks for keeping him company.”

“No problem,” the blonde replied. Jeremy waved at him before he was pushed out the room by his concerned boyfriend. Evan smiled and looked at Connor.

“Well, that was a thing,” the brunette said. His eyes narrowed, “Since we’re on the topic of worried boyfriends. What the fuck, Evan?!”

The blonde flinched. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Sorry! For what? For going up to meet someone dangerous? For getting pushed down the stairs? For being a fucking idiot?!” There was no stopping the waves of emotion. Hot tears slipped down Connor’s cheeks. “He could have killed you. He could have fucking killed you!”

Evan watched as his boyfriend curled in on himself. He touched Connor’s hand. The brunette interlocked their fingers.

“What if you had died?” Connor hiccupped, “What if you had died in my arms on that landing? There was so much blood. Your eyes were nearly white. I…I thought-”

“I’m alive though,” Evan cut in. He bit his lip, trying to stop himself from crying. “I’m alive, and I’m going to be okay.” He wiped Connor’s cheek dry. Evan knew what he had done was idiotic. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I should have told you. I shouldn’t have gone. I shouldn’t have provoked him.”  

“I dragged you into this mess,” the brunette said, “I never meant to. I never thought this would happen.”  

Evan gave him a sad smile, “Well, we both fucked up. How about we call it even?”

Connor chuckled, a bit choked up from crying. He waved his hand, “Move over, we’re going to cuddle.”

Evan giggled at the childish demand. Tears escaped as the sound left him. He wiggled to one side and let Connor rest next to him. Arms wrapped around him and Evan rested his good cheek on Connor’s shoulder.

“Let me know if you’re uncomfortable,” Connor said.

“I couldn’t be more comfortable,” the blonde whispered into the tattered jacket. The heavy scent of weed and earth made his muscles relax. “You’ve been smoking,” he commented.

“In fairness,” Connor began, “I’ve been kind of fucking stressed.” There was a hint of teasing in his tone.

Evan smiled into the fabric, “Should have brought me some.”

Connor chuckled, “I’ll give you some when you get out.”

“Deal,” Evan whispered and felt his eye lids grow heavy.

He felt safe.  

 

* * *

 

 

Laughter had seeped into Evan’s dreams. He groaned at the warm sound, shifting in his sleep. Consciousness slipped in and roused him. Even yawned and rubbed his eyes and saw that he was still laying on Connor’s shoulder.

“Look, sleeping beauty is finally awake,” Jared said.

Evan smiled, still a bit asleep, “You think I’m a beauty?”

Jared looked at Connor, “I thought you said he wasn’t high anymore.”

The other brunette smiled, “He’s not, he’s just cheeky when he’s half asleep.” Connor kissed the blonde’s forehead and watched the smile spread across Evan’s face.  

“Heard you made friends with the kid next door,” Jared pointed to the wall.

Evan nodded, “Uh huh, his name’s Jeremy. He’s really nice.”

“I see, better watch out Connor,” Jared teased.

Said teen chuckled, “He’s got a boyfriend.” Connor looked Jared up and down, “Unlike you.”

The boy gasped and covered his heart. “Evan! Did you hear what he just said to me?!”

“The truth?” Evan giggled at the shock on Jared’s face.

“You’ve corrupted him. Look at him, he’s full of sass now!” Jared laughed, happy that his friend was okay.

Evan looked around and his eyes landed on the clock, 1:00 pm. “Whoa, we slept for a while.” The time dawned on him though. “Wait a minute, why aren’t you guys at school?”

Connor scratched the side of his head, “We got suspended for a few days.”

“Because we kicked those bitches’ asses,” Jared explained. He looked at Connor, “He got body slammed by the resource officer and had to be handcuffed.”

“You and Zoe got handcuffed too!” Connor shot back.

“Zoe fought?!” Evan asked in shocked.

“Sure, as fuck did, nearly clawed the guy’s eyes out,” Jared laughed at the memory of the furious Murphy tearing into the henchman. “It was pretty cool. I know not to mess with her now.”

Connor chuckled, “I could have told you that.” He saw Evan’s saddened expression. “Hey,” he said to get the blonde’s attention, “Now that I’m suspended, I can come snuggle with you every day.”

Evan’s cheeks tinted, “You better.”

“Gay!” Jared screamed and laughed as a pillow was chucked at him by Connor. Zoe came up behind the glasses wearing teen and whacked him on the back of the head.

“I’m under attack by Murphys!” Jared screamed and looked around in horror.

Connor held onto Evan and watched his sister whack at the trash mouth of the group. His blue eyes wandered to the boy pressed against his side. Evan looked so relaxed, looked so happy. Connor wouldn’t ruin the mood with the news. He’d wait. They had time.

Evan was safe, that’s all that mattered.


	24. Plastic Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy late 4/20, I guess. I've been working a lot. Anyway, enjoy some cute agnsty shit. The next chapter will be all fluff, I promise.

 

Connor sat in the office and let the ticking of the clock lull him. He was terrified. He had wanted this for so long, but now that he had it, he was terrified. His leg didn’t stop bouncing and his hands wouldn’t stop shaking.

“Connor?” a gentle voice called.

The brunette’s head snapped up. A middle-aged woman looked at him with kind eyes. “Here,” he said out of habit, making the woman laughed.

“Follow me, honey,” she said and led the teen down the twisting halls and to her office. She opened the door and gestured for him to step inside. “Well, I guess we should start with introductions,” she said sweetly, “I’m Dr. Napper.”

“Connor Murphy,” the teen replied and sat down on the comfy couch. The room was welcoming, the lights were dimmed to a comfortable brightness. It wasn’t like the blinding lights at the hospital. Connor tried to calm his nerves. He spotted the bookcase in the corner of the room. It had a wide range of cracking, old spines to colorful, big lettered ones. There was a basket of kid toys beside it. Little cars and stuffed animals overflowed the wicker casing and spilled onto the floor. “You do kids too?” he asked, trying to break the ice.

“Sure do,” Dr. Napper answered and sat in her chair across from Connor. “Now, your father didn’t tell me much,” she leaned back in her chair, “where would you like to start?”

Connor shrugged, “I don’t even know where to begin.”

Dr. Napper nodded, “Well, why don’t we start at the beginning. When did you start feeling depressed, or when did you notice it?”

Connor nodded and wrung his wrists. “I was twelve…”

 

* * *

 

 

Evan fiddled with the remote and tried to find something to watch on TV. Jeremy popped his head through the doorway, saving the poor blonde from tedium. “Hey, Evan,” the teen greeted.

Said boy smiled, “Just in time! I’m really bored.”

“Same,” Jeremy replied and plopped down in the chair by Evan’s bed. He looked at the clock, “Your boyfriend not here yet?” he teased.

Evan snorted, “Nope, I guess yours isn’t here either?”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, “Thank fuck. He’s at school, he’ll probably be here soon.” Both teen’s giggled and the brunette explained. “I love him, don’t get me wrong, but he can be a bit-” Jeremy searched for the right word.

“Over-protective?” Evan offered.

The other teen snapped his fingers, “Exactly! He can be kind of over-protective.” His face turned solemn and his fingers trailed over his scars, “not that I blame him.”

“Yeah,” Evan rubbed his bandaged cheek, “I get it.”

Both teen’s grimaced. “At least we have them,” Jeremy said, trying to brighten the mood.

“True,” Evan said with a smile.

Jeremy heard something in the doorway and laughed, “Speak of the devil.”

Connor came into the room. “You’re back for round two, huh?” he chuckled and set down his bag.

Jeremy shrugged and sat on Evan’s bed, “What can I say, Evan and I have a lot in common.” The blonde giggled and pushed the other gently.

Connor smirked, “Yeah well, you’re in my spot, so shove off.”

Jeremy pouted, “You’re no fun.”

“Jeremy!” Michael screamed. Said teen flinched at the worried call. “Ah, fuck,” Jeremy said and got up to meet his distressed boyfriend.

“You-”

“Shouldn’t be out of bed, I know,” Jeremy rolled his eyes. “I need to move around to get better,” he smiled at the other, “Besides, wasn’t like I was alone.”

Michael frowned, “I know…I just worry about you.” He touched Jeremy’s arms. His fingers traced the jagged lines, pain tugging at his heart, “I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

Jeremy frowned. He looked at Evan and forced a smile, “I’ll see you later?”

Evan nodded and watched as they went, Michael gave him and Connor a small wave goodbye. The blonde sighed and looked at Connor. “Where have you been?” he asked sweetly.

Connor smiled, “Therapy.”

Evan’s eyes widened, “Really?!”

Connor nodded and sat on the side of the bed. “Today was my first appointment, she was really nice.”

Evan pulled Connor into a hug, ignoring the pain it caused him. “I’m so happy for you, Connor!” he cried but noticed the grave expression on the brunette’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“They’re charging Luke, for what he did to you,” He then added, “and what he did to me.”  

Evan furrowed his brow. “And that’s bad?” he asked in confusion.

“They want me to testify,” Connor grimaced. “They want me to describe what happened, they want to show the pictures.” Connor sniffled and gripped his jacket sleeve. “They want to show everyone.” He wasn’t ready for that. He wasn’t ready to explain to everyone what happened. He didn’t even tell Evan! Evan found out because of Luke’s texts!

Evan leaned back, bringing Connor with him. Evan guided the brunette’s face to his chest. He kissed the top of the teen’s head and carded his fingers though the umber waves.

“I don’t want to, Evan,” Connor choked. Guilt weighed heavily on him. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed, “I’m so sorry.”

Evan gripped him tighter. “You don’t have to apologize for not wanting to,” he buried his nose in Connor’s hair, “I wouldn’t want to either.”

“My mom would be there, and Zoe, and my dad,” Connor felt his gut twist, “and you.” He tried to breathe, “They said his defense would question my mental health, my drug use… my sexuality.”

Evan frowned. “Connor-”

“If we do go to court,” he gripped Evan’s hand, “They’ll question you too! They’ll dissect every choice you made, including going when he messaged you.” Connor sat up, “I don’t want to Evan! I don’t want to have to deal with this. I don’t want to drag you down with me. I don’t want to drag my family into this. I just want it to go away!” the brunette pulled at his hair, “I don’t…” he tried to catch his breath, “I’m scared. I’m so scared.”

Evan rubbed his boyfriend’s back. “I’ve got you. You don’t have to do anything.” He raised Connor’s chin so he could look into the teary eyes. “No matter what you choose, I’ll be by your side,” Evan promised. Connor hid his face in Evan’s chest.

“I feel selfish,” Connor admitted, “I feel awful. I feel like I’m failing everyone else he’s hurt. I feel like I’m failing you.”

Evan didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to comfort his weeping boyfriend. The blonde held onto him tighter. “I can’t imagine what it feels like, I won’t try to. You don’t owe anyone anything. I wont guilt trip you and tell you you’re selfish, because you’re not. You’re strong, and beautiful, and I love you more than anything. Whether you walk into that courtroom to testify or just be there for me, I’ll stand by your side.”

Connor pushed off Evan’s chest. He kissed the blonde roughly. His healing lip stung from the contact, but it made him feel alive. Evan hummed into the kissed, ignoring the pain in his cheek. The pair got lost in the contact and felt the world fade out around them.

Evan gripped at Connor’s shoulder and tried express what he couldn’t say. He never knew the brunette was trying to do the same.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor set his bag down and slipped off his shoes. He rubbed his eyes and sighed. The brunette left his room and padded down the hall to Zoe’s door. He knocked and heard a muffled, “Come in.” Connor opened the door and was greeted to the soft pastel walls. “I can’t believe you kept this color,” he teased, touching the paint.

“At least I’m not the one who dropped an entire can on the tarp,” Zoe shot back, not even looking up from her iPad.

Connor laughed, she got him there. He remembered assuring their dad that he could lift the paint can. He also remembered when he had dropped it and pink went everywhere. Connor remembered Zoe’s high-pitched giggles when her socks got ruined by the paint. “Dad was really upset, I thought he’d have a heart attack right then and there.”

“He almost did,” Zoe replied and sat up. She still had those socks, hidden in the back of her drawer. They were sentimental, of a time when Connor would put her on his shoulders and help her get anything she wanted. She can still feel the paint on her cheeks, can still hear Connor’s laugh and her father’s huffs of amusement. “The hand prints are still on the dresser,” she said, gesturing to the white piece of furniture.

Connor beamed. “I can’t believe you kept that either.” He sat on the chair in the corner.

“What happened, Connor?” Zoe asked.

He sighed, “You already know.”

Zoe frowned. She knew, but it wasn’t the same as Connor telling her. “Aren’t you happy?”

“Yes, no… I don’t know,” the brunette said and hung his head low. “I should be happy, but-” he couldn’t articulate the feelings that were going through him.

Zoe frowned, “There’s no right way to feel, Connor.” A distraction was in order. She looked at the walls and then to the ceiling. “Do you remember putting glow in the dark stars on my ceiling?”

“You mean me busting my ass because I used dad’s swivel chair?” Connor couldn’t help the smile that split his face.

Zoe giggled, “Yea and dad came and put up the rest of them. That night, all of us laid on the floor of my room and looked at them.”

“Dad had tried to make constellations and failed horribly,” Connor added.

Zoe slipped off her bed and onto the floor. She patted the space beside her. Connor got off the chair and laid next to his sister.

“They aren’t up anymore,” Connor reminded. His eyes scanning the white plaster.

“I know,” Zoe replied. “Doesn’t change the feeling you get though.” Connor nodded. They laid on the floor in silence, imaging the plastic stars were above them. They imagined their parents by their side. They imagined a time when everything was perfect.

Zoe knew they could never go back to how they were. Could never regain the innocence she had lost. She knew nothing was as it had been. This was a start though. She moved over and let her head rest on Connor’s chest, like she had when they were little. Just like back then, a protective arm went around her shoulder.

All the unease Connor felt washed away. He got lost in the nostalgia and closed his eyes.


	25. I Have A Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Memorial Day! I'm sorry for the random updates guys! I just started a new job and got a girlfriend. My life is a mess. Anyway, enjoy this cute shit.

 

Heidi moved through the halls of the hospital. It was Saturday, the sun was bright, but the wind had a chill to it. Connor and Jared had taken Evan home, so she could continue her shift. Heidi smiled, knowing the boys would enjoy hanging out without a heart monitor beeping in the background. She picked up a familiar chart and was surprised to hear a cheerful, “Hello, Heidi!”

Said woman looked up to see the smiling face of Joseph Heere. Over the past few days, they had talked whenever possible. The portly man was adorably nervous most of the time, always kind and respectful. It warmed Heidi’s heart. “Well hello to you too,” she replied. Joseph’s smile was infectious. “What can I do for you today?” Heidi asked and was surprised by the shy reply.

“Maybe join me for dinner…just the two of us,” the man twiddled his thumbs as he braced for rejection.

Heidi bit her lip. She had class tonight. Her hazel eyes scanned over the nervous man. To hell with it. “I would love to,” she answered.

Joseph’s head snapped up from its bent position. He hadn’t excepted that. “I ugh…really?” a pathetic amount of hope in his voice.

Heidi felt her face flushing. “Of course!” she assured and tapped on the clipboard she had in a death grip. Butterflies were fluttering in her stomach at the thought of a date. It was like being in high school all over again. “How about seven?” she suggested.

Joy exploded in Joseph’s eyes. “Seven is perfect! I mean, it’s a good time. Wonderful time. Great time. I’m rambling,” he man laughed, cutting himself off and rubbing his face.

Heidi had never seen anything more adorable in her life. “Do you want to meet somewhere or…?”

“I can pick you up, if you want me to, of course. I understand if you don’t. We don’t know each other too well and Jeremy told me your son is going home today so-”

Heidi cut him off, “I would love for you to pick me up.” She took her phone from her pocket, “What’s your number.”

Joseph sputtered for a moment before giving out the digits.

Heidi beamed, “I have to get back to work. I’ll text you the address later.”

“Of course!” Joseph cheered, “I’m looking forward to tonight.”

Heidi giggled, “Me too.”

The two parted. Joseph got through the front of the hospital when his phone buzzed.

 **XXX-XXX-8749** : _See you at seven_

Joseph Heere would deny he did a happy dance on the sidewalk.

He’d be lying though.

 

* * *

 

  

Evan held onto Connor as they entered his house. Jared followed with some bags.

“Careful!” Connor chided as the blonde staggered. “We don’t need to go to the hospital again.” He gripped tighter onto Evan’s barrowed T-shirt. “Lean on me,” he instructed.

“I’m heavy though,” Evan whined.

Connor’s heart clenched, “This is no time to be cute, you little shit.” He helped the blonde onto the couch. “Wait here, I’m going to get you some water.” He turned to Jared, “Watch him.”

“Aye, aye captain!” Jared gave a mock salute. He set the bags down on the coffee table. He watched Connor leave before turning to Evan. “You okay, dude?”

“I’m fine, Jared,” Evan said evenly. “I’m a little achy but falling from the tree was worse.”

Jared nodded and sat beside the blonde. “I’m glad you’re okay, Evan.”

Hazel eyes widened. “Really?” he said without thinking.

Jared’s frown deepened, “I know I can be a dick, but damn.”

Evan quickly explained, “It’s not that! I just never thought you’d say it out loud, is all.” He smiled, “Thank you, for helping Connor and me.”

Jared rolled his eyes, trying to keep tears at bay, “’Connor and I’, Evan. You’re supposed to be the smart one.” He wiped at his eyes, wincing from his healing black eye. Jared gasped when arms wrapped around him.

“I’m glad you’re okay too,” Evan said.

“That’s gay,” Jared chuckled, choking a bit.

“Did someone say gay?!” Connor asked, his face popping from around the corner.

Both Evan and Jared laughed. Connor handed his boyfriend a glass of water. “Hydrate yourself, you complicated house plant.”

“What kind of house plant am I?” Evan asked, taking a sip.

Connor looked him up and down, “A succulent.”

Evan choked and nearly dropped his glass.

“Jesus Murphy! Don’t kill him!” Jared began to lightly pat Evan’s back. He swallowed his laughter and tried not to make fun of Evan.

Connor crouched down and planted a kiss on Evan’s forehead. “I’m sorry, Evangreen,” he teased and laughed when the blonde gave him a playful swat.

“Oh, this is getting too gay for me,” Jared said and stood up. “You two have fun fucking. Don’t put him back in the hospital, Murphy.”

“Jared!” Evan squeaked.

Connor merely smiled, “I make no promises.” He got another slap for that. “Connor!” Evan screeched, face bright red.

Jared rolled his eyes. “Bye, love birds,” he said and left. 

Connor looked at Evan. “You wanna have sex?”

The blonde grimaced, “Can’t you be a little more romantic?”

Connor sighed, “Evan, master of my heart. Carrier of that sweet ass. Love of my life-” The brunette chuckled when shaky hands covered his mouth.

“Stop!” Evan begged. “I didn’t mean like that!”

“What did you have in mind? Want me to run out and buy you some flowers?” Connor kissed the tanned palm and nuzzled into it.

Evan whined. “I was kind of thinking like…a kiss?”

Blue eyes widened before a smile spread across Connor’s face. “You’re too cute.”

The blonde was about to deny that statement when lips were placed on his.

The front door being slammed opened made the two jump apart though. Heidi rounded the corner. “Evan, you need to help me!” Jared raced in behind her, “I was about to leave, what’s going on?!”

“I have a date!” Heidi screamed in destress.

All three boys looked between the other. Connor stood up, “Okay. Evan,” he pointed to the blonde, “You get hair, I’ll get make up.” He pointed at Jared, “Outfit.”

“Oh bless you boys!” Heidi cried as the three followed her upstairs to help her get ready.

 

* * *

 

 

Joseph nearly kicked in his son’s door. “Jeremy!”

“Jesus Christ, dad!” said teen screamed. It was a good thing Michael and he were only playing Apocalypse of the Damned. “Please knock!”

“I have a date?!” Joseph screamed in a confused panic.

Michael was the first to become unfazed. He jumped up, “I got this!” the tan teen pulled out his phone.

“Who are you calling?” Jeremy asked.

“Your ex and her girlfriend,” Michael said cheekily.

Jeremy blushed but gave his dad a smile. “You’re going to look great,” he assured.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan pinned the last strand his mother’s hair and stepped back. “Done!” he cried, beaming at his work. Connor put the finishing touches on Heidi’s makeup before moving back too. “Gorgeous,” the brunette hopped off the sink and removed the towel from around Heidi’s neck.

Hazel eyes fluttered open. “Oh, boys!” the mother cried. She pulled Evan and Connor into a hug. “Thank you!” she turned around and tugged Jared into the hug too.

The doorbell rang, making them all jumped.

“Shoes!” Jared cried and pulled Heidi into her bedroom. “Stall,” he commanded, pointing at Evan and Connor. The pair raced downstairs, the blonde beating his boyfriend to the door.

Evan opened it and was surprised by the man behind it. He was hefty, holding a bouquet of flowers and was mumbling to himself. “Hello?” the teen said to get his attention.

 “Oh!” Joseph jumped, back straightening. “H-hello, I’m Joseph,” he extended his hand.

Evan took it, giving it a quick shake, and smiled. “Evan,” he greeted back.

“Oh, I know who you are. Hei- I mean, your mother and my son have talked about you.” The man looked behind the blonde. “You must be Connor,” he greeted cheerfully, “My son has mentioned you too.”

The brunette wrapped his arm around Evan’s shoulder. “Good things I hope?”

Joseph’s smile turning into a grin, “Mostly you kicking him out of Evan’s room.”

“Hey, I only did that once. Michael came and got him the other times,” Connor clarified.

Joseph laughed, “Yeah, Jeremy like to exaggerate sometimes. He’s a good kid though.” He looked past the boys and quietly gasped as he watched Heidi descend the stairs.

“Hi there,” she greeted sweetly. Evan and Connor moved out of her way. 

“You’re gorgeous,” Joseph blurted out before realizing what he had said. “I mean, you’re always gorgeous, but even more so, not to say” he took a deep breath, “I’m rambling.”

Heidi giggled, a blush dusting her cheeks. She noticed the flowers.

Joseph saw her glance and offered the bouquet to her. “For you, I remember you saying you liked lilies and I thought blue would complement your eyes.”

Heidi’s blush deepened. “Thank you,” she squeaked out. The two adults stared at each other, both nervous and utterly infatuated.

Connor wrapped an arm around Evan’s waist. “Mr. Heere,” he said to get the man’s attention. “It’s not a school night, but we still expect her back by 12 o’clock.”

Evan added, “On the dot.”

Heidi wished she could cover her face without destroying her makeup. Joseph wasn’t fazed though. “Yes sirs,” he answered and offered his arm to Heidi. His heart skipped a beat when she took it.

“Bring her home safe!” Evan demanded as Mr. Heere opened the car door for his mother.

“I will!” the man promised and got into the driver’s side.

The couple waved as the pair drove off.

“You two will make great gay dads,” Jared said, his head popping between Evan’s and Connor’s.

“Shut up, Kleinman,” Connor said and put the other in a headlock.

“Ah!” Jared cried, “Evan, get your boyfriend, he’s gone crazy!””

The blonde watched the two wrestle for a minute before stepping in. “Alright, let him go, Connor,” and led Jared away from the other.

“What, I was just playing?” his boyfriend teased.

Jared laughed and rolled his eyes. “I’m going to head out, for real this time. Have fun fucking on Evan’s bed!”

“Jared!”

“Don’t worry, we’ll try to break it,” Connor shot back.

“Connor!” Evan screamed in exasperation. He huffed and shouted a goodbye to Jared before closing the door. “You two are going to kill me.”

“Nah,” his boyfriend said and pressed Evan against the door. “I meant what I said, you know.” His hands wandered under the blonde’s shirt. “You want to continue where we left off?”

Evan grinned. He didn’t answer verbally, instead pulling Connor into a kiss.

“GAY!” Jared screamed from behind the door. It was muffled but the canoodling teens could make it out.  

“I’m going to strangle him,” Connor growled.

Evan giggled, “I just might let you.”


	26. How It Began

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut, fluff, and foreshadowing, in that order. Enjoy!

 

Evan gasped as he gripped the headboard. “Connor!” he cried as the creaking of his bed frame filled the room. “S-slow down,” he begged. The brunette obviously didn’t hear his plea as his pace increase. Evan’s eyes rolled back, “Shit, fuck, Connor!” He let his unbandaged cheek press into the pillow. His fingers gripped the sheets, pulling them from the corners of the mattress.

The sound of Evan’s moans and skin slapping against skin put Connor in a haze. He had miss the heat of his boyfriend, the sounds the blonde made. All of it made his go wild. “My good boy,” he whispered and tried to drive deeper into the pliant body. He leaned down and caught a patch of skin between his teeth.

“Wait!” Evan moaned, “I’ll cum, please…Fuck!” He went limp as Connor’s hand encircled his cock. “No, wait, I’ll-”

“You can come,” Connor said, laying kisses on the mark he left. “Such a good boy. Pretty, pretty boy. So sweet,” the brunette covered the blonde, shifting their positions so he could bite the healing neck. Evan made a guttural sound, whether from the words or new position, Connor couldn’t say. He grabbed Evan’s clenched fist and was able to lace their fingers together. “Love you,” he whispered into the blonde’s ear, “I love you so much.”

Evan could feel tears going down his cheek. They weren’t his though. “Connor,” his breath hitched as the pale teen’s hand stroked him fast. “I love you too,” he replied, wishing he could turn around. He couldn’t see Connor’s face, but he could feel the tears hitting his shoulder and neck. Evan settled for holding the brunette’s hand tighter. He tensed and came, his free hand clawing at the mattress.

Connor moaned and followed his boyfriend over the edge. “Such a good boy,” he whispered as he came inside the blonde. He slowly pulled out and moved to get up but Evan’s death grip on his hand made it a little hard. “Evan?”

The blonde sucked in a deep breath, still dazed from their romp. He slowly sat up on the bed. Those tears were drying on his skin, one even slipping down his chest. Connor was standing by the bed, perplexed and eyes still red. Evan finally stood up, “Come on.” He guided them to the bathroom, a bit slow but they got there eventually. “I want to wash your hair,” Evan admitted. He loved the smile Connor gave him. Evan finally let go of the other’s hand. He laid little kisses on the tears stained cheeks. “I love you,” he whispered over and over again with every little kiss he placed. Fresh tears hit his lips, but Connor’s smile remained.

 “I love you too,” the brunette answered and laid his own kiss on Evan’s forehead. The pair stumbled into the shower, giggling.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor sat at the dinner table and lazily munched on his piece of lasagna. His day with Evan had been fantastic. He didn’t want to leave the cozy little home that housed the sweetest boy alive, but he knew his family wanted to keep an eye on him. There had more calls about the case while he was gone. Connor hadn’t been informed what was said but he knew, whatever it was, was bad. Zoe kept giving him concerned looks and his mother’s eyes were red. “Evan went home from the hospital today,” he said to break the tension.

Larry nodded, “That’s good.” He sighed and tried to sit straighter in his chair. The details were still playing in his head. The officer’s sorrowful voice as he told him what transpired. Told him about the videos and pictures they had found in that awful boy’s possession. Larry tried to not let it get to him. Tried to not let the guilt he felt show, but it was weighing heavily on his shoulders. He looked at his son and thought of all the things he had said to his son. A bitter taste filled his mouth and he set his fork down.

Zoe looked between everyone. She was dealing with her grief a lot less quietly. The voice in the back of her head got louder the longer she stared at her brother. That scratch turned into a cut and finally exploded. She asked the table, “Are we just going to ignore it?”

“Ignore what dear?” Cynthia replied, her voice shaky and eyes still glistening. She’d been trying her best not to break down. Never in her life did she ever think one of her children would have to go through something so traumatic. She hoped the officer was right, that Connor may have been too drugged to remember everything.

Zoe stood up so fast she made the others jump. She stomped out of the room, tears in her eyes.

There was a beat of silence at the table as the back door was thrown open then slammed shut.

“I’ll talk to her,” Connor volunteered and followed his sister to the backyard where she sat in the dead grass. The playground used to be there. While it was gone, the damaged grass still remained. “Hey,” he greeted.

Zoe looked up at him, “I’m sorry.” She choked and tried to wipe at her eyes. “I’m sorry, Connor,” Zoe tried to stop the tears that began to roll down her cheeks in a steady stream.

“What’s wrong?” her brother asked and sat across from her. No one told him what the officers said, he had a pretty good guess though. He reached out and took one of her hands.

“I’m such a fucking brat,” Zoe sobbed, “I feel awful. You’re going through so much and I treated you like shit and I-”

“Zoe,” Connor said to get her to stop. “I’m not innocent here. I treated you just as bad.” He played with some of the grass, letting the dew wet his skin. “The past is in the past though, we can’t go back and change it.” Connor gave her a sorrowful smile, “I’m sorry, for everything I did and said. I don’t want to go back, Zoe. I never want to go back.”  Connor squeezed her hand, “I’m feeling better than I have in years. I feel happy, I feel loved… I never knew how much I missed those feelings. I never want to lose them again.”

“Connor,” Zoe said, not knowing what else to say. She couldn’t say what she wanted to. The words seemed to be stuck in her throat. A trembling hand took her free one. They laced their fingers together. She stared into the crystal blue eyes, they were a reflection of her own.

“Zoe,” Connor began but choked. He was crying again and could barely see his sister through his tears, “I want to be the big brother I promised to be when we were little. I want to make up for all the lost time. I love you, Zoe, you’re the best sister in the whole wide world and I don’t deserve you-” Connor yelped as she launched herself into his arms. He sniffled and pulled her into a tight hug.

“I love you too!” she cried. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder. I’m sorry I didn’t fight for you. I’m sorry I let you slip away. Please forgive me.”

Connor laughed through his tears, “There’s nothing to forgive!” He moved back and cupped Zoe’s face, “I didn’t try to stay. I didn’t try to stay beside you. I should have done more.”

“That’s bullshit, Connor!” she screamed, “You were assaulted. You were denied mental health treatment. It’s bullshit!”

“You didn’t know, though,” Connor explained, “You didn’t know about Luke. You didn’t know, and I can’t blame you for that.”

Zoe frowned, “But-”

“But nothing,” Connor interrupted, “stop blaming yourself.”

Zoe smiled. She was confused and angry, but also overjoyed, “When did you get so sweet?”

“Blame Evan,” her brother answered, “His goody two-shoesness is rubbing off on me.”

Zoe giggled, “I guess I’ll have to thank him.”

“Are you two alright?” Larry asked, standing beside the siblings. He rubbed his arm, unsure on what to do. His children were crying but they had smiles on their faces. Larry sat in the grass and watched the two dry their eyes.

“We’re fine, dad,” Zoe said.

Larry sighed in relief, “That’s good. You had me worried there.” He looked at his son, “Are you okay, Connor?”

Connor smiled and nodded. “I’m fine,” he added, “Doctor Napper is nice.”

Larry’s eyes widened, he then smiled as well. “I’m glad. She seemed very sweet.”

Cynthia sat by her husband. Her eyes were still shimmering with held back tears. She looked up at the sky and gasped. “Oh, look at the stars,” her voice soft and full of wonder. The rest of the family joined her in staring up at the sky.

“You should see the orchard,” Connor said. “The moon’s really pretty when it’s shining down on the trees.”

Cynthia smiled, wrinkles forming by her eyes. “We should all go there one night,” she suggested.

 “That’d be fun,” Zoe added, “maybe we could have a picnic.”

“Or we could get some ice cream and go there,” Larry leaned back on his hands and took Cynthia’s in his. He saw how her blue gems widened in wonder and it melted his heart. Memories of them breaking into parks at night and going to diners filled his mind. Replacing the once bitter taste with shared milkshakes and chaste kisses. “We should do it soon, before it gets too cold.”

Connor shrugged, “What about Sunday?”

“That would be nice,” Zoe flopped back on the grass. Her brother laid beside her.

“Come on Cyn, let’s star gaze,” Larry insisted and laid on the grass. His wife giggled and placed her head on his chest.

The four looked up at the shining sky and smiled.

Zoe imagined them contained in four pink walls. They were younger, Connor’s hair was shorter and hers was tied back with a scrunchie. She could still feel the crust of paint on her now pink socks and the smell of freshly colored walls wafting through the room. Zoe heard her mother’s giggle and her father’s chuckle. It made her heart swell with joy. Her eyes went back to the stars. She could almost imagine that they were plastic and that everything was alright.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor sat in the waiting room, leg bouncing. He was wringing his wrists, turning them a slight red.

“Connor?” a kind voice said to get his attention.

He smiled up at Dr. Napper and followed her back to the room.

“How are you feeling today?” she asked as she shut the door.

“The police called, told my parents what happened,” Connor said as he sat down.

The doctor sat across from him. “I see,” she pulled out her notebook, “What did happen, Connor?” She saw the distressed look on the teen’s face. “I won’t push you, but sometimes-”

“No, no, I think…I think I’m ready,” Connor dug his nails into his arms to try and stop the shaky feeling going through him. He took a deep breath, “I met Luke right before school ended.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be a ride on the pain train, prepare yourself


	27. That Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning!!! Connor talks about what happened, it doesn't get explicit but just in case. Self harm as well!!! Once again, not explicit but just in case

Tear threatened to spill from the corners of Connor’s eyes. He swallowed and tried to quell the lump forming in his throat. The boy took in a shaky breath and continued, “It started out fine, he’d take my money, give me weed, then I’d leave. That’s how it was for a couple weeks, then he started letting me stay over to smoke. It was alright a first, hell, I kind of thought of him as a friend. We kissed one night, it was…nice. I thought ‘maybe we’ll date’, but after that, it didn’t take long for him to get…weird.”

Dr. Napper probed, “Weird, how?” She sat straighter in her chair.  

“He’d want to know where I was. Wanted me to hang out more. Wanted to decide what I’d wear. When I talked…” Connor’s frown deepened, “I kind of just…let it go. I just let him do what he wanted. It was easier than trying to fight. I didn’t think much of it. Thought it just came with-” He didn’t want to say the word, Luke didn’t deserve the title.

“A relationship?” Dr. Napper offered.

“No,” Connor growled, “We weren’t together, he was just a drug dealer that got clingy.”

“I’m guessing he believed differently?” she inquired.  

“I…I don’t know what I was to him. Entertainment, I guess. Something to control and look down on,” Connor wiped away an escaped tear. “I don’t know. One night he said he didn’t want money anymore. He said he’d only take sex as payment, I agreed. I thought ‘hell, he’s kind of hot and I don’t have anything better to do’. It was, okay. There was no connection, no sparks, it was just sex. He finished, I got my weed, and then I left. I thought it was just a onetime thing, thought he’d chill out after that. Everything got worse though.” Connor took in a shaky breath. “We never just hung out after that. It was always sex. I went along with it, even when I didn’t feel like it. I don’t know why, I guess I just wanted someone there, wanted some weed. I-”

“You don’t have to defend yourself, Connor,” the doctor interrupted. The boy looked up at her, confusion in his eyes. She continued on, “It doesn’t matter why you let it continue. He took advantage of you, it’s inexcusable, and not your fault.”

Connor fought the urge to argue. he wanted to scream that he knew better, that he should have stopped it. Instead, he just nodded, “Okay, you’re right. Okay.” He paused and collected his thoughts, trying to figure out where to go now. “I stayed around. We had sex, did drugs. He tried to get me into cocaine. I wasn’t dumb enough to do it, though everyone thought I was on it. He’d put some in my bag one night, my parents found it and freaked out. I didn’t like the stuff, he loved it though.” Fear filled his eyes, “He was terrifying on it.”

Dr. Napper handed him a tissue.

Connor stared at it in confuse until he registered the tears rolling down his cheeks. He took it and wiped at his eyes. “I think that’s what he was on, that night. His friends did it too. Maybe they were all high.” He began to shake, “He called me over. It started off innocently enough. It was actually kind of fun.” He gave the doctor a sad smile, “Felt like I was at a party with friends.” His lip began to quiver, “Then I started feeling…wrong. Like my muscles were shutting down and my mind was grinding to a stop. I was scared. I thought I was dying. They all were watching me, as if waiting. I knew they put something in my drink. I remember-” He couldn’t, he couldn’t say it out loud.

Dr. Napper watched as he curled in on himself. She noticed Connor digging his nails into his skin. Little streams on blood came down from his arms. “Connor, stop, I need you to come back for me,” she cautiously came closer, “I need you to come back.”

Connor nodded and tried to breathe, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Look at me, Connor,” she instructed, “you’re not there. No one can hurt you.”

He hiccupped, and tears flowed freely down his cheeks. “I can’t…I can’t-”

“You don’t have to,” she assured, “You don’t have to.”

Connor nodded and sniffled. He looked down at his injured arm and cursed. He’d been doing so good and he fucked it up! “I’m sorry.”

“Let me get my first aid kit,” the doctor said and went to her desk to retrieve some band aids.

He couldn’t. he couldn’t stay here. He had to get out. He needed air, he need to leave, he needed- “No, I n-need to go,” he said and shot up and rushed out of the office.

“Connor!” Dr. Napper called after him.  

He didn’t stop running until he got to his car and peeled out of the parking lot.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor was visibly shaking when Evan opened the door.

“Connor, what’s wrong?” the blonde asked and took his boyfriend’s hand and lead him into the house.

The brunette was silent as he sat on the couch.

Evan saw the distant look in those blue eyes. “Connor?” he tried to snap his boyfriend back to reality. “I’m going to get you some water,” as he moved to leave, Connor’s hand on him got tighter. Evan frowned and sat next to him. They were silent for a while, until Connor finally spoke.

“I tried talking…about what Luke did,” his eyes were still glazed over, “I couldn’t do it, I ran, I-”

“Can I hold you?” Evan asked.

Connor laughed, choking on the sound, “I’m afraid if you do, I’ll start crying and won’t be able to stop.”

Evan felt his lip quiver, “I love you.”

Connor began to sob loudly and let himself be pulled into Evan’s arms. “I’m sorry,” he cried as his tears soaked Evan’s shirt. Small kisses began to litter his forehead as reassuring hands rubbed his back. “I don’t deserve you,” he wept and buried his face in Evan’s chest.

“That’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told,” Evan replied and tried not to cry. He laid back, bringing Connor with him. Evan spotted the fresh crescent marks on Connor’s skin. “We’ll need to clean those later,” Evan said.

“I’m-”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Evan interrupted. He relaxed into the couch. “Just sleep,” he insisted and laid a final kiss on the top of Connor’s head.  

The brunette could feel his cheeks reddening. Connor’s eyes slowly closed.

“I love you,” Evan said again.

The brunette smiled through his tears and listened to Evan’s rhythmic heartbeat, “I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

Connor woke up first. He groaned, eyes stinging. He got up carefully. His arm felt like it was on fire, pulsing and burning from the self-inflicted wounds. He hissed and went upstairs to the bathroom. He shucked off his jacket and ran some cold water over the punctures.

“Oh, Connor… what happened?” a concerned voice asked.

Blue eyes widened and whipped around to see Heidi in the doorway. Connor looked down at his arm, ashamed of his slip up. His first instinct was to try and hide it. The concern in her eyes was painful to see. He felt like he’d disappointed her. He didn’t know what to say. Tears stung the corners of his already red eyes as guilt crawled up his spine. A choked noise left him, and a warm hand reached out to him.

“Let me take care of it,” Heidi whispered and got him to sit on the toilet lid. “Stay here,” she said softly and got the first aid kit from below the sink. She took out a bottle of antiseptic and some cotton swabs. Practiced hands began to clean the wounds.

Connor watched her work. She was so careful and kind. She wasn’t scolding him or gripping his arm too tight. A warmth bloomed in his chest, the memory of his first night staying at this house replayed in his mind. Evan’s shaking hands tending to his cuts and those gentle words of worry. Those wounds had now healed into faint scars. Connor knew these fresh ones would do the same. They were so kind to him, so patient. He didn’t deserve it. As she was wrapping his arm, tears sprung from his eyes. “I’m sorry, mom,” he sobbed. His body began to tremble as guilt clogged his throat and made him choke. Calloused but soft hands cupped his cheek.

“I’m not mad at you Connor,” Heidi whispered.

Connor didn’t expect those words, and didn’t know how much he needed to hear them. “Thank you, thank you. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come I just-”

“Connor,” Heidi interrupted, she raised his chin and wiped away some of his tears. “This is your home too.” Heidi brought his head to her chest. “You’re so strong, Connor. You and Evan are so strong. I’m so proud of my boys.”

Connor held onto her sides and cried. Faint footsteps grew louder until another pair of hands were placed on his back. They were warm and soft and made him feel safe. He’d never felt so safe. Connor buried himself in Heidi’s chest and felt Evan’s forehead on his shoulder.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan sat on the bed and watched Connor. The brunette’s eyes were open, but Evan knew he had detached from reality. He carefully put a hand on Connor’s shoulder. “Baby?” he whispered.

Blue eyes snapped back from the abyss. “Did you just call me baby?” Connor asked, a smile spreading across his face.

Evan shrugged, “I thought it was cute, like you.” He laid down and placed his head on Connor’s chest. “Do you want to talk about?”

Connor frowned, “I don’t know if I can.” He sucked in a breath and exhaled, slowly. “Dr. Napper asked me to tell her what happened. I couldn’t-” Connor choked and tried to collect himself, “I freaked out, ran away.”

Evan rubbed his hand up and down Connor’s chest, trying to soothe the other. “You don’t have to talk about it right now, Connor.”

The brunette sniffled and buried his face in Evan’s hair. He inhaled the blonde’s scent and felt himself relax. He whispered, “Thank you.” Closing his eyes, Connor let his body relax and listened to Evan’s breathing. “I don’t know how they expect me to take the stand, I can’t even tell what happened to my god damn therapist.”

Evan held him tighter, “Don’t think about that Connor, not tonight.” He shifted upward and asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Connor’s heart melted. “Yeah,” he whispered softly and smiled when Evan’s lips pressed against his own.

The pair laid there and shared gentle kisses. Evan gasped when Connor bit his lip. He let himself be rolled onto his back. Pale hands slipped under his shirt and lithe fingers spread across his chest. The kiss became deeper and more aggressive. The brunette nudged his legs apart and moved between his thighs. Evan shook his head. “Wait, Connor,” he panted between Connor’s assault on his lips. He grabbed Connor’s shoulders and pushed back, “Wait!” Blue eyes seemed to plead with him.

“Please,” the brunette answered, “Please, I want to forget.”

Evan visibly swallowed, “Are you sure? I don’t want to cause-”

“You won’t. You… you’re different. With you, it’s different. You-” Connor tried to find the right word to describe the emotions Evan brought out. “You make me feel, loved. That’s the closest word I have to describe it.”

Evan frowned, “I… are you sure?”

Connor nodded, desperately, “Please, Evan. Make me forget him. Make the world just us, please.”

Evan nodded, “Okay.” He sat up and threw off his shirt, Connor did the same. The two raced to shuck off their clothing. They grappled at each other, wanting to feel each other’s skin. The heat of each other, the feeling of their chests rising and falling, the pounding of their hearts.

“Lube,” Connor growled as he nipped at the other teen’s neck.

“Drawer,” Evan gasped and tried to urge the other to bite harder.

Connor kneeled up and rummaged through the nightstand before retrieving the bottle. He warmed some lube on his fingers before dropping the bottle by Evan’s side.

The blonde gasped as a finger slipped inside him. “Fuck!” he cried, head falling back. Connor was staring down at him, adoration in his eyes. Evan moaned as a second finger slipped in. The brunette was making quick work of preparing him. A few minutes later, a third finger was added. Evan screamed as his prostate was hit over and over again. “Get in me!” Evan begged.

Connor pulled out his fingers. He fumbled with the bottle and covered his cock with a good amount of lube. His hands shook as he lined himself up. Evan’s legs wrapped around his hips. It encouraged him to push inside. It was easy to breach the other. Connor gasped and gripped the sheets next to Evan’s head.

Evan felt Connor bottom out and his sighed in relief. “Fuck, Connor,” he moaned and tried to stop the shaking in his limbs. Droplets hit his chest. Evan saw the tears falling from Connor’s eyes. “Connor?” he whispered, concerned.

“I love you,” the brunette sobbed. He slowly began to rock his hips. “I love you so much,” he gasped, “You make me so happy.” Connor went onto his elbows, so he could kiss Evan easier.

The blonde accepted the sweet lips.

The pair moved lazily as emotions began to swell between them. Connor began to cry harder. “I love you so much, Evan,” he gripped the blonde’s shoulders.

“I love you too,” Evan gasped. He felt his own tears forming. “I love you so much, Connor. You’re so sweet and beautiful. You’re so smart and kind. I love you so much!” He dug his nails into the other’s back as Connor’s hips sped up.

“I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you. Such a good boy, I don’t deserve you,” Connor chanted. He bit into the other side of Evan’s neck, mostly to stop himself from rambling.

“You’re a g-good boy too,” Evan moaned as Connor’s thrust began harder. “You’re so strong, so strong- fuck!” He tried to clear his mind, but it was hard to focus with Connor’s well-placed thrusts.

Connor sobbed and gripped his boy tighter.

Evan threaded his fingers in the mocha locks. “Come on, Connor, come inside me. Please, give it to me.”

“That’s not fair,” Connor growled and sped up. The bed made loud protests against the rough thrusts. The wood creaked and slapped against the wall as the pair chased their release.

“Fuck!” Evan cried. Connor and he were pressed together, and it was causing amazing friction on his cock. “I’m coming, fuck, Connor. I’m coming!”

“Do it, please. Wanna make you feel good. Wanna be worthy of you,” Connor confessed and bit Evan’s shoulder.

The blonde arched and came between their chests. His mouth opened in a silent scream. His toes curled and caught the bedding as his legs shook.

Connor grunted and came inside the other. His vision went black for a moment as he hit his peak.

The room was filled with the scent of sex and the couple’s shallow gasps.

Evan wiggled but Connor held onto him.

“Please, just a little while longer,” he begged.

The blonde relaxed and let himself be held. He laid light kisses on the top of Connor’s head. “I love you,” his whispered over and over again.

The world seemed to focus in on them and everything, all the hurt and pain, was forgotten. Connor smiled, just a little while longer. He just wanted to feel safe for just a little while longer.


	28. Shouldn't Have Called

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feels, my dudes

Cynthia swept some crumbs off the floor and sighed. She wondered when her children would get home. The big house felt so empty without them. She dumped the dust and debris in the garbage and nearly jumped when the doorbell rang. They weren’t expecting anyone. A thought crossed her mind that maybe Connor or Zoe had lost their keys. It was unlikely, but it did cross her mind.

Cynthia cautiously went to the door and opened it, finding officer Morgan behind it. “Can I help you?” she asked, weary of the man’s presence. As of late, the police simply called the house to update them on the investigation.

“Hello, Mrs. Murphy,” officer Morgan greeted and gestured inside, “May I come in?”

Cynthia debated it for a moment before opening the door wider, letting the man inside.  “What’s this all about?” she asked as she closed the door.

The officer sighed, “Well, ma’am, it’s about your son’s case.”

“Obviously,” she sniped and walked past the man into the living room. “What’s happened, you normally just call.” Cynthia knew the man was just doing his job, knew she shouldn’t snap at someone trying to help her and her family, still, she was frustrated with the ever-looming eventuality of a trial. The police had informed them weeks ago that Luke wouldn’t take a deal, not with Connor’s case.

Officer Morgan sighed, “Ma’am, I understand you’re in shock about what happened to your boy, but we need your help.”

“With what?” Cynthia sat down, a frown plastered on her face. She’d normally wear her cheerful mask around a guest, offer them coffee and take their coat. Today however, Cynthia didn’t feel like putting on the façade. 

“We need Connor to testify,” he explained and sat on the couch across from the shaken mother. “Without him, the case could be as simple as them stating that Connor wanted it at the time and then changed his mind when Evan saw the pictures.”

“Connor would never want something like that!” Cynthia seethed. Tears threated to spill from the corners of her eyes. That image of her son was burned into her mind and haunted her every waking moment. She remembered his lost eyes when he handed her the photo. Connor could never want that.

“I know, I believe you, but I’m not the one you have to convince. With Connor’s mental health and drug past, the defense could cause reasonable doubt in the jury. We might be able to earn him a few years for Evan’s assault and the vandalization. With Connor’s case though, we might be able to get him on the sex offenders registry and a couple more years.” Officer Morgan saw the pain filling the mother’s eyes. “I won’t lie and say it’ll be easy for him, it won’t be. They’ll try to tear him apart on the stand. If we don’t put him up there, though, there could be a chance that Luke would get off scot free.”

Cynthia sucked in a deep breath and tried to hold back the scream she wanted to let out. She grit her teeth and growled out, “That boy deserves to be punished for what he did, Connor’s past shouldn’t matter. He never asked for that!”

Officer Morgan held up his hands, “I know, I know, but the jury doesn’t know Connor. All they’ll see is a disturbed boy who has a history of drugs and violence.”

Cynthia’s lip quivered, “You need to leave.”

The officer sighed and stood up. he made for the door. Before leaving, he turned and said, “Talk to your son.”

Cynthia watched him go and waited for the cruiser to pull out of the driveway before finally letting her tears fall. She straightened her back and sucked in a breath and forced on a smile. The kids would be home soon, she needed to start dinner.

 

* * *

 

 

Connor dried the bowl, it was a mechanical movement. He was on auto pilot as he placed it on the rack and took the plate his mother handed him. His mind was clouded with heavy thoughts that seemed to block the world out.  

“Connor?”

The boy snapped back to reality and saw the plate in his mother’s outstretched hand. He placed the one he had already dried off on the rack and took the new one. “Sorry,” he whispered. 

Cynthia frowned, “I’m guessing you were at Evan’s all night?” She already knew the answer, but she wanted Connor to stay in the present.

“Yeah,” the boy answered plainly. “sorry I didn’t tell you, I kind of just…” he trailed off, not wanting to get into what happened with Dr. Napper.  

A thought popped into Cynthia’s mind, “We should go get you and Evan’s suits soon.”

“Suits?”

“For Homecoming, sweetheart, remember?” Cynthia hoped she could distract her son from the darkness plaguing his mind. 

Connor nodded lazily, “Oh yeah, that’s like a week away.” He grimaced, thinking about the case and Luke, “I don’t know if we’ll go.”

Cynthia sighed and placed the bowl in the sink. “Sweetheart,” she began, God, she wasn’t good at this. Her boy’s blue eyes were staring into hers. They were filled with uncertainty. He looked so small, even though he towered over her. Her baby was lost and was looking to her for answers. Cynthia took in a deep breath and said, “I think it would be good for you to go.” She looked behind them to the dining room, where Zoe and Larry sat, “For all of you.”

Connor looked down at the floor. His voice shook as he asked, “What if _he’s_ there, mom?” He sniffled, “What if he hurts Evan again, or Zoe? What if-”

“Connor,” Cynthia interrupted and placed her hand on her son’s cheek. “Don’t let fear control you. Don’t let him control you. Letting him take away your happiness and being constantly afraid, is letting him win. Don’t let him win, Connor. You have so many people willing to fight for you. You have so many people who love you. Don’t let him win.”

Connor’s lips quivered as he embraced his mom. Warm, wet hands wrapped around him. After a while, he said, “Evan’s free this weekend.”

Cynthia smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

 

* * *

 

 

Zoe sat on the curb in front of her house. She just needed to be outside for a while. Needed to be out of her home, which was an ongoing rollercoaster of emotions.

“Hey,” a shy voice greeted.

Zoe looked up and smiled, “Hey, Alana.” Her girlfriend sat beside her, making a strange warmth blossom in Zoe’s chest. She was lucky that Alana only lived a street down. Never in her wildest dreams did she think the other would walk to her house to check on her. Zoe grimaced, remembering the grim texts she had sent.

“How have you been holding up?” the mocha teen asked. She adjusted her glasses and drew her jacket tighter around herself. There was a slight chill in the air, not too drastic but noticeable.

“Fine, I guess,” Zoe answered in a monotone voice.

“You guess?” Alana repeated, quirking an eyebrow. She looked at the dark circles under her girlfriend’s eyes and the chipped polish on her finger nails. “You know…you’re allowed to be effected by this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re allowed to be sad and angry. You’re allowed to be mad. You’re allowed-”

“I’m not the one who got- I feel like a selfish bitch, Alana! Connor comforted me the other night, me! The bratty little sister who probably has been making him feel like shit for years because she was the apple of dad’s eye. He, while going through all this bullshit, told me everything was okay! He said he never hated me and loved me. He’s…he’s going through so much, Lany. I just- This isn’t about me, it’s about Connor. I shouldn’t be-” Zoe broke down in tears. She viciously wiped at her eyes.

Alana sighed and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into a hug. “Do you love, Connor?” she asked.

“Of course I do!” Zoe wept, “He’s my big brother.” She sniffled and buried her face in Alana’s shoulder.

“If you love him, then of course seeing him in pain is going to hurt you. You want him to be happy and healthy, don’t you?” She didn’t wait for confirmation and continued, “So of course you’re going to be angry and distressed when he isn’t.” Alana put it plainly, “You’re not trying to steal the spotlight, Zoe. You’re reacting to a traumatizing situation like anyone else would.”

The female Murphy hiccupped. “I just feel-”

“I know,” Alana whispered and placed a chaste kiss on her love’s forehead. “Your brain is being mean, remember?”

Zoe smiled at that. “Don’t use my own words against me,” she playfully swatted at the girl.

Alana beamed and held Zoe tighter. “I love you,” she whispered.

Zoe’s already reddened cheeks darkened. “I love you too,” her fingers laced with her girlfriend’s free hand.

 

* * *

 

 

Jeremy looked down at his buzzing phone in surprise. Evan’s name popped up on the screen and he smiled. He quickly answered it, “Hey, Evan, what’s up?”

“Hey,” the other boy answered. He didn’t know what he was doing calling Jeremy. Didn’t know why he bothered to. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t have a reason to call I just… IwashopingyouwouldbewillingtolistentomeramblefuckIreallyshouldn’thavecalled!”

Jeremy shot up in bed. “Whoa, Evan, slow down!” he tensed when he heard Evan’s breathing become faster.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called, I just-”

“Name five things around you,” Jeremy instructed.

Evan furrowed his brow and looked around his room. “Um, a bed, a table, a dresser, a b-brush, a mirror,” he felt his breathing slow and his body relax a bit.

“Feel a little better?” Jeremy asked.

“Yeah, where did you learn to do that?” Evan asked.

Jeremy frowned, “Michael has anxiety, I’ve helped him through panic attacks before.”

Evan nodded. “That’s really sweet, Jeremy,” he finally said.

“I have to make it up to him somehow,” Jeremy grimaced.

“Make it up to him?” Evan inquired.

“It’s a long story, Evan, like really long and complicated,” Jeremy could practically see Evan’s disheartened face on the other end of the line. He quickly added, “It’s a story better told in person. The next time I see you, I’ll tell you all about it.”

Evan smiled a little, “I’d like that.” He remembered his mom’s date, “So, your dad likes my mom, huh?”

Jeremy snorted, “I know right! The world keeps getting smaller and smaller, I swear.” He laid on his stomach across his bed. “You don’t…dislike him, do you?”

Evan’s eye widened, and he quickly reassured, “No, no, no, he seems really sweet actually.” He smiled, “My mom really likes him. She’s kind of debating calling first to ask him back out.”

Jeremy beamed, “Really, that’s amazing?! I’ll have to tell him, he’s been kind of nervous about if he should call her.” He ran his fingers through his hair and his smile slowly faded, “Are you alright, Evan?”

Hazel eyes widened. “I’m fine,” he whispered, hoping to convince himself and Jeremy. His lip quivered as he repeated, “I’m fine.”

 

* * *

 

 

Jared sat on his bed and slowly slipped off his glasses. Trembling hands placed them on the nightstand. He fell back on the bed and stared up at his ceiling. A streak of moonlight cut through the room. It let shapes in the darkness be visible but didn’t luminate them enough to make them out. He kicked off his shoes and closed his eyes. 

The house was silent, and the air was stale. Jared reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He scrolled through his five contacts. Slowly, he pressed the call button. The ringing was strange and foreign. He hated calling people, it was the worse.

“Hello?”

Jared asked, “Why didn’t you kill yourself?”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, “…What the hell, Kleinman?”

Jared shut his eyes tighter. “You were going to do it, you told me you were, so why didn’t you?”

“Why the hell are you asking about this right now?!” Connor screamed.

“Because I want a fucking reason not to too!” Jared yelled back.

There was more silence and Jared thought Connor had hung up till a small voice said, “Evan.”

“Really?” Jared asked through forming tears, “Was he the only reason?”

“No,” Connor admitted, “but he was the first reason.”

Jared sniffled, “I shouldn’t have called you. You’ve got enough shit going on without me trudging up bad memories.”

“Do you want to come Homecoming shopping with us Saturday?” Connor asked.

“Did Evan ask you to invite me,” Jared tried to hide his bitterness in the question.

“No, I haven’t even asked him yet,” Connor answered, he gently pulled at his hair. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to… I’d like you to come though.”

“Really?”

Connor chuckled, “Who else is going to help me drive Evan crazy?”

Jared snorted out a laugh. He was beaming before his frown returned. “Connor, I’m so s-”

“If you say ‘sorry’ I’m going to drive to your house and kick you in balls. I’m tired of people saying that shit to me,” Connor growled, “Jesus, I can’t tell who’s worse you, Evan, or Zoe.”

Jared bit his lip, “It’s just. I didn’t know, Connor, I feel bad.” A sigh on the other end of the line made him arch an eyebrow.

“You didn’t know. I didn’t tell anyone. You can’t blame yourself for shit you didn’t know,” Connor explained.

Jared shifted his eyes to focus on the beam of moonlight painting his ceiling. “When did you get so mature?”

“When I realized I couldn’t use mental illness as an excuse to be an awful person,” Connor replied. “I regret a lot of things, Jared. I regret trusting a lot of people, I regret losing people.”

“I regret not staying your friend,” Jared said, just loud enough for Connor to hear.

“We should hang out sometime. I miss kicking your ass at Smash.”

“That was one time, Murphy!” Jared reminded.

“Yeah, once every time I came over,” Connor teased.

“Oh, fuck off!” Jared laughed.


	29. Shopping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy chapter, mostly, dumb jokes and shenanigans ahead folks. Sorry for the late update, life is rough.

The group of teens made their way through the mall. The place was crowded with young couples and screaming kids. It was overwhelming, even for Connor. He caught Evan’s hand as they walked through the crowd. Connor knew his boyfriend was nervous. The blonde’s hand had been twitching for four minutes continuously. He gave Evan’s fingers an encouraging squeeze and saw the smile of relief on the blonde face. Alana, Zoe, and Jared were chatting away in front of them. The other brunette looked back at the pair from the corner of his eye.

Jared turned and asked, “You alright, Evan?”

Evan didn’t realize his distress had been so noticeable. “I’m…,” his hazel eyes looked down at Connor’s hand intertwined with his. “I’m okay,” he assured.

Jared looked between the two and said a cheeky, “Gay,” before continuing his conversation with the girls.

Evan giggled and leaned his head against Connor’s shoulder. The group made their way to the prom store. Alana and Zoe were chatting about what colors to wear.

A familiar couple was waiting for them at the entrance. “Evan!” Jeremy greeted, letting go of Michael’s hand to wave.

“Hey!” the blonde ran up to the taller teen. They gave each other a quick hug. Their talk the other night made them feel closer than they had been before. “I’m so glad you were able to make it!” Evan cheered.

Jeremy noticed the others. “Oh, hi,” he said, offering his hand to Jared first, “I’ve only caught glimpses of you, Jeremy Heere.”

Jared took the hand, “Jared, Evan told me about you. You were his bandage buddy in the hospital.” He noticed the tanned teen behind the other. “I’m guessing your Michael?”

“Hell yeah,” the other tan teen affirmed.

Connor pulled Evan away from Jeremy and into his arms. “No touching my boyfriend,” he growled playfully and gave Evan’s cheek a firm kiss. The blonde choked and began to sputter in his boyfriend’s embrace.

Jeremy put his hands up in surrender, a sly grin on his face. “Alright, macho man, I’ll keep my hands off... at least while you’re here,” he teased. Michael gave him a quick slap on the arm, making Jeremy laugh, “Ow, Micha!”

Evan wiggled out of Connor’s grasp, “Let’s just go get our suits, please!” His face was a bright red and he didn’t think he could handle anymore embarrassment.

Alana and Zoe snorted at the boys and made their way into the store with Evan. They put protective arms around the blonde.

“So,” Zoe began, “What color suit are you getting?”

Evan shrugged, “I don’t know, black?”

Alana rolled her eyes, “Every guy is going to wear black.” She looked him up and down, “What about blue? You already wear it all the time and it would look great on you!”

Evan shrugged, “I don’t know if I want to stick out that much.”

Connor came up behind him and chimed in, “I could get a red one, then we could match.”

The blonde smiled up at his boyfriend, “Well…” The thought of Connor in a red suit was appealing.  

“Come on, Evan, go for it!” Jeremy nodded his head to his boyfriend, “Michael and I are going in joke suits.” Something caught Michael’s eye and the tan teen ran off into the racks.

The blonde shrugged, “I guess.”

A scream from across the store made all the teens start, “JEREMY, THERE’S A WEED SUIT!”

“Michael, NO!” Jeremy screamed back and race through the racks of clothes. “You put that back, right now!” he demanded.

“420 BLAZE IT, BABE!”

Connor looked down at Evan, a smile plastered on his face.

“Don’t even think about it,” the blonde growled.

Connor held up his hands. “Okay, okay,” he chuckled and walked over to another section to rifle through the blazers. He found a dark maroon one. “What about this?” he held it up for Evan to see.

The blonde scrunched up his nose, “It has glitter on it.”

Connor squinted at it, “Fuck.” He put it back and wiped the sparkles off his hand with a grimace. “Damn craft herpes,” he grumbled.

Evan giggled and looked through the blue colors. A light blue suit caught his eye. He ran his fingers over the soft fabric and smiled. Taking it off the hanger, he saw the lapels where black with two shiny buttons.  “How’s this look?” Evan asked, placing the jacket in front of him.

Connor smiled, “That would look super cute on you.” He found another red jacket. “Holy shit, look at this one!” It was a brilliant crimson with black lapels and cuffs.

Evan beamed, “Whoa, that one’s so cool! You should get it.”

“You guys find anything?” Jared ask, a black tux in hand.

“Yep!” Evan cheered, showing the jacket he found. “Isn’t it pretty?”

“Yeah, really gay, but pretty,” Jared snickered as Evan gave him a playful slap on the arm.

“At least I’m not boring,” Evan teased back, pointing at the shiny black suit.

“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong,” Jared ran his hand over the sequins of the tux, turning the jacket gold. “Ohhhhhh!”

Connor shrugged at the other brunette’s display, “Okay, that’s pretty cool.”

Jared glared at him, “You’re going to write ‘Dick’ on my back, I just know it.”

Connor faux gasped, “I would never, I’d write ‘I suck dick’.” The two snorted and began to laugh, much to Evan’s confusion.

The blonde was glad the pair was getting along better. Even though it seemed to come out of nowhere. He cradled the jacket to his chest and headed toward the fitting room. “Well, I’m going to try this one on.”

Jeremy ran over to him with a suit that was covered in equations and chemical compounds. “Evan, look at this one!” he laughed, “Isn’t it cool?”

The blonde beamed, “That’d be so cool! You’ll look amazing.” He saw the taller teen’s cheeks tint a bit pink at the praise.

“Thank you,” Jeremy said and caught sight of the light blue blazer, “Aw, that’ll look adorable!”

Evan blushed and held the jacket tighter, “You think so?” Arms encircled him, and Connor’s voice replied, “Definitely.”

Jeremy laughed at the pair. They were adorable. A weed patterned suit was dangled in front of his face. He glared at his puppy eyes giving boyfriend, “No, Michael.”

“Aw, come on, Jer-bear!” the tan teen whined. “Let me live!”

“You’ll get us kicked out!” Jeremy explained.

“Why don’t you wear a rainbow one?” Connor suggested, mostly joking.

Michael’s eyes widened in realization before dashing back to the costume suits. Jeremy laughed, “Thanks, Connor,” he said before following his boyfriend across the store.

“What’s up with you?” Evan asked and wiggled in his boyfriend’s grasp.

“I don’t like how he looks at you,” Connor mumbled into the blonde’s neck.

Evan rolled his eyes, “Please…1. He’s got a boyfriend. 2. He’s just a friend.” He placed a kiss on Connor’s cheek, “Besides, I only have eyes for you.”

“Gay,” Connor groaned and kissed Evan on the lips. The pair walked to the fitting room.

 

* * *

 

 

The five teens were screaming lyrics in the car, “THIRSTY, THIRSY THURSDAY!” Evan laughed as Jared slapped the roof of the car along with Connor. Alana and Zoe were rocking to the beat. Shopping bags covered the passengers in the back seat. A honking car caught Evan’s attention. A PT Cruiser pulled up next to them. Jeremy and Michael waved at the group. The two were jamming to their own song as they sped past.

Evan giggled and continued to bob with the music blasting thorough Connor’s speakers.

They dropped off Jared first, the teen decided to open the door and roll out of the car. “Ayyyy!” he screamed as he landed on his ass. Doing some quick finger guns before grabbing his suit. “See ya, losers,” he laughed.

“Bye, Jared!” Evan yelled back, his smile shining. He was glad the other had decided to come with them. He’d missed hanging out with him.

Jared almost choked on the cuteness and tripped in his front yard. “Fuck, Evan, not fair!” he screamed and ran up to his house.

Connor wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, “All’s fair in love and war, AND THIS IS WAR!” He sped away, making the girls in the back crack up laughing.

“Stop being a jealous bitch, Connor,” Zoe teased, poking her brother’s face. “Evan can’t help being adorable.”

“Everyone wants to fuck my boyfriend!” Connor growled, “Of course I’m a jealous bitch!”

“I don’t want to,” Alana offered. “Neither do I,” Zoe added.

“WELL, THANK YOU!” Connor slapped the roof of his car, making the others laugh. A few minutes later, they pulled up to Alana’s house. Both her and Zoe got out. “See you, Evan. Bye, Connor!” Zoe screamed her brother’s name. She laughed when he flipped her off before speeding away.

The final two drove to Evan’s house. The blonde got out first, bags in hand. He unlocked the door and let his boyfriend in. “You want to watch a movie?” he offered, placing the bags on the table.

Connor shrugged, “I’d rather sleep. I’m tired as fuck!” He went to the living room and flopped on the couch. “Social interaction is draining.” His feet hurt and his head was pounding. “Fuck!” he groaned in the throw pillow.

Evan laughed, “Yea, I understand.” He nudged the other with his knee, “Get up, let’s go to my room.”

“Why?” Connor whined as he sat up.

“Cause, sleeping on the couch is bad for you and my bed is way more comfortable,” Evan explained and made for the stairs. He heard his boyfriend behind him and the two raced up the steps.

“Swiggity swooty, I’m coming for that booty!”

“Connor, no!” Evan screamed, laughing as he tackled on his bed.

 

* * *

 

 

Larry and Cynthia sat on the couch together. It had been a long time since Cynthia had, had her husband’s arm around her while they watched tv. The program began to turn to white noise as her eye lids grew heavy. Soft creaks of the house and the low hum of electronics filled the space and tranquility washed over the pair.

The breaking of glass made them start. A brick landed on the coffee table, chipping the polished wood. Shards of glass covered them. The screeching of tires made them jump up.

Larry raced to the window and saw a black Lexus speed away. “Son of a bitches!” he cursed, they were a bit too far for him to see the license plate.

Cynthia sat, shaken as she stared at the brick. There was a paper covering it. She didn’t dare touch it, just in case. Larry went to grab it though. “NO!” she cried, “It might have finger prints on it.”

The male Murphy growled and grabbed his phone, dialing 911. “Hello, this is Larry Murphy.”

Cynthia tuned him out. She stared at the broken window and a sharp pain registered on her face. She tapped her cheek and saw the blood on her fingers.


	30. Homecoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot, fluff, smut, and more plot. What more can you ask for? Sorry for the late update, I had this chapter all ready and then... I got sick. Anyway, enjoy guys!

Connor stretched and rubbed his eyes. He cracked his back and sat up. Looking down, he found Evan sleeping peacefully. The beautiful boy was bathed in the dying sun light. Connor yawned and grimaced. His mouth felt disgusting. God, he needed some water. He was about to get up and get some when his phone buzzed. It was his mom. He picked it up, “Hello?” 

“Connor!” a frantic voice on the other end of the line cried. 

“Mom, are you okay?” Connor asked, hurrying to throw on his clothes. 

“You need to come home, right now!” Cynthia demanded frantically. She was pacing around the living room earning concerned looks from the officers around her. “Something, something happened, and...please just come home, please.” She needed her boy here, needed to know he was safe. 

Connor frowned, he looked at Evan’s sleeping face. “Okay, I’ll be home in a minute,” he said and hung up. His fingers gripped the phone tightly. A bubble of panic was rising in his chest and he was desperately trying to quell it. He sighed and shook Evan’s shoulder. 

The blonde yawned and sat up on his elbow. “What’s up?” he asked. 

“I have to go home, sweetheart. I just wanted to say goodbye,” Connor explained. He laid a kiss on Evan’s forehead. 

“I love you,” Evan whispered and snuggled back into the covers. 

The brunette smiled, “Love you too.”

 

* * *

 

 

Connor nearly jumped out of his car. The cops were surrounding his house. “Mom!” he screamed as he raced passed them. He ran into the living room, finding his parents on the couch. 

“Oh, Connor!” Cynthia cried. She jumped up and hugged her son. “Are you okay? Did anything happen to you today? Have you gotten any texts or calls from  _ that boy _ ?”

Connor shook his head, “No, everything was fine. What happened?” 

“That little bastard threw a brick through the window and left a pretty threatening message,” Larry growled. 

“Mom!” Zoe screamed as she burst in. 

“Oh honey,” Cynthia said, holding her daughter close. 

“Mom, your cheek!” Zoe touched the mark, “What happened?” 

Cynthia explained the situation to her daughter. As she finished, officer Morgan came up and  tipped his hat in greeting. 

“I wish we would meet under better circumstances,” he said. 

Connor frowned, “So, Luke did this?” 

“It would seem so,” the officer turned to the smashed window, “The car your father described matches Luke’s. I tell you what, that boy is seven flavors of stupid.” 

“No shit,” Connor growled and stared at the mark on his mother. He was going to kill that boy, rip him to fucking shreds. “How much could he get for this?” he asked. 

“Possibly nothing,” officer Morgan answered honestly. “We have a biased witness and nothing to tie him to the act.” 

“That’s bullshit! Who else would do this?!” Larry roared. 

“I’m saying, there’s a  _ chance _ we won’t be able to get him for this,” the officer reminded. 

Connor frowned, a bitter taste filled his mouth as he looked at his mother’s face. He was going to end that boy.

 

* * *

 

Connor decided not the tell Evan just yet. He knew the other would want to come to the house and comfort him, and Connor needed to be alone for a bit. He needed to think. Pacing around his room wasn’t helping, but he couldn’t sit still. Thoughts were going through his head a mile a minute. He need to focus, to concentrate, to calm down! 

A knock on his door pulled him from his thoughts. He grumbled out, “It’s open,” and continued his loop around the room. 

Evan stepped through the door, making Connor short circuit. He wasn’t supposed to be here. How the-

“Why are you-” the brunette trailed off and stared at the worried boy in his doorway. Evan always brought an air of ease with him and Connor really needed it after the day he had. 

“Zoe,” Evan answered quickly, “She asked if anything happened at my house.”

An irrational amount of rage flooded the brunette. Connor growled, “Did anything-”

Evan shook his head quickly. “No, no, I don’t think he knows where I live.” The blonde moved into the room and closed the door behind him. He sat on Connor’s bed. “My mom talked to your mom. Offered to let you and Zoe stay with us if you feel unsafe here.” Evan swallowed and picked at the hem of his shirt, “I’m sorry, Connor.” He didn’t know what else to say. 

The brunette frowned, “Evan, you didn’t do anything wrong. Just- Jesus Christ, this whole things got me fucked up. I can’t...I don’t.” Connor felt frustrated tears prick at his eyes, “I don’t want you dragged into this more than you already are.”

Evan snorted, “Kind of too late for that.” He pointed to his still healing cheek. The gesture didn’t make Connor laugh, like he had intended, only made the brunette’s frown deepen. Evan grabbed one of the pale wrists. “Hey,” he began, gently pulling the boy down to him, “We’re in this together, no going back.” He gave Connor’s cheek a reassuring kiss, “I’m here for you.”

The brunette nodded, “I know you are.” He buried his nose into Evan’s hair. “I just wish I had something concrete to give the cops. Something to prove that son of a bitch…” Connor gripped Evan’s shirt. He tried to think, think of anything he could use against that asshole. 

Evan frowned and tried to think of anything they may had missed, anything they didn’t handover or tell them about. There were the pictures, the school cameras,  the texts, the-

The texts!

Evan patted his boyfriend’s side, “Did you delete Luke’s messages?!”

Connor’s eyes widened, “Evan, you’re a fucking genius!”

 

* * *

 

Officer Morgan finished up his paperwork for the evening and was going to head home. The Murphy case was a goddamn mess. He pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering if his warrants would be approved. They needed to search Luke’s house, find something. 

Margaret burst into his office, “Hey, James, that Murphy boy is here.” 

The officer’s eyes widened. He shot up and followed her out. “Connor, good to see you, son. Did something else happen?” 

“I have proof!” the boy said, holding up his phone. “Luke texted me, he admitted what he did in them. We can use this, right? We can use it!”

The officer took the phone and looked through the messages. He remembered the Hansen kid had mentioned them in his statement. Connor hadn’t though, so they couldn’t look through it at the time, “And this is his cellphone number?” 

Connor nodded vigorously, “Yes, it’s his. He even confirms it’s him in the beginning. See?” 

Officer Morgan smiled, “Connor, I think this will do just nicely. We need to get your parents permission to pull the texts from your carrier’s data banks.” He patted the boy’s shoulder, “Good job, kid.”

Connor beamed. 

 

* * *

 

It was finally the big day, Homecoming. It had been a week since the window incident. It had been relatively easy to get the glass replaced. Now all Connor had to do was survive his mother’s fussing. 

“Mom, it’s fine!” Connor insisted as his mother kept fiddling with his tie. It had been over ten minutes and he was getting restless. 

“It’s crooked!” Cynthia growled, finally fixing the knot, “There, now I’ll leave you alone.” She stepped back and admired her boy. “Oh, Connor, you look so handsome!” 

Her boy blushed, “Thanks mom.” Now he was just waiting for Evan and Zoe to come downstairs. His boyfriend was curling his sister’s hair, it was honestly taking forever. A brisk knock at the door sent Cynthia out the room. Heidi then emerged from around the corner, “Oh, Connor, look at you!” Jared followed after her. 

“Hey, mom,” the sweet woman wrapped her arms around him, “I thought you had a shift tonight?”

“I do, but I wanted to get some pictures of you all. I just love your suit,” she pressed a kiss on his cheek. “And your hair!” It was a simple half up fishtail braid, but it was still gorgeous. 

Evan and Zoe finally came trotting down the stairs. “Oh, shit!” Jared cheered, “Yall, looking cute as fuck!” Evan pushed his best friend’s shoulder. 

“Oh, Zoe,” Cynthia began to sob. Her daughter’s light blue dress and beautifully curled hair brought tears to her eyes. “You and Connor, on the stairs, now!” she demanded, “I want pictures.” Her two children laughed but complied. They stood at the bottom of the stairs. Connor’s maroon tux clashing but complimenting Zoe’s gown. They had taken a couple of decent photos before getting bored. 

Evan snorted as Connor put his elbow on the top of Zoe’s head, and flashed his middle finger. 

“Connor Alexandria Murphy!” Cynthia roared, making her children laugh anew. 

“Alexandria?” Jared beamed, “Oh today is truly a gift.” Evan pinched his side, “Shut up, Jared Conner Kleinman.” 

The brunette gasped, “Conner?!” He held his chest, as if he had been shot, “Oh, Jared, why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“It’s not spelled the same, asshole!” Jared growled. He glared at Evan, “This means war.” 

The blonde giggled, “Bring it on.” 

“Alright boys, your picture next!” Heidi interrupted, camera at the ready. Jared, Connor, and Evan stood at the bottom steps. “Pretend to like each other,” Heidi chastised. 

Jared got between the couple and shouted, “I’m the third wheel!” He smiled as the picture was taken, relishing Connor’s choked laughter. 

Alana came into the house. Her dress was a soft pink to match Zoe’s. Her braids were twisted into two buns on her head. It was simple, but breathtaking. 

“Wow, Laney,” Zoe gasped softly, making her girlfriend giggle. 

“I could say the same for you,” Alana handed Zoe her corsage. More pictures were taken, but the group was starting to become restless. They decided to eat something light so they wouldn’t be starving when they got there. Evan gave Connor a kiss to calm the antsy boy’s nerves. His poor boyfriend was practically vibrating in his suit. 

“Gay!” Jared interjected and got put in a headlock by Connor. “Evan, get your boyfriend!” he cried as he was dragged around the living room. 

Cynthia beamed at their antics. The big house was filled with laughter and joy. Her children had momentarily forgotten the horrors of the outside world. All was good, and she never wanted the stinging cold of reality to seep back in again. 

“Alright, enough you two, we need to go!” Evan insisted and pulled the squabbling boys apart. All of them filed out of the home, saying goodbyes as they got into Connor’s car. 

“Yo, Conman, pass me the aux,” Jared said.

Begrudgingly, Connor handed it over, “You promised to stop call me that.”

Jared made a face, “That doesn’t sound like me, at all.”

“Maybe it was a dream then,” Connor reversed and they were on the road. “Don’t play any shit.” 

Jared played the Little Einsteins theme remix. 

No one could stop singing long enough to yell at him.

 

* * *

 

 

Parking was a nightmare, but once they were inside, everyone suddenly felt overjoyed. 

Evan held Connor’s hand as Zoe and Alana dragged the group toward the photographer. “Mom already took pictures!” Connor whined. 

“Yeah, but this will be a group photo!” Zoe cheered. The five of them lined up. A small discussion took place about the poses they were going to make. Once it was their turn, Jared dropped to the ground and made a clawing motion. Zoe placed her heeled foot on his lower back. Alana looked over her shoulder dramatically. Connor dipped Evan, who had a rose between his teeth. 

The photographer wasn’t even hazed. 

The teens thanked him as they got their ticket number and made their way to the dance floor. Thankfully their gym was big enough and actually had space enough so that people could move freely. 

They all stuck to the wall for a while until Single Ladies started playing. Zoe, Alana, and Jared were gone in a flash. Connor laughed as he watched the three sway and flail in the crowd. Even he had to admit that Jared was a good dancer. He looked over and saw Evan was wiggling beside him. It was adorable to say the least. 

The blonde was content to just sway in place but his boyfriend had other plans. Connor took his hand and led him into the fray. The pair mingled seamlessly with the crowd. Wobble began to play and Evan had no idea what to do. “Connor, how do you dance to this?!”

The brunette laughed, “You literally only need to twerk.” 

Evan was bewildered, “What?!” Needless to say, Evan learned what twerking was that night, and how to do it. 

After an hour, the group left the dance floor and was able to find a table to sit at. They all got some water and decided to relax until the Homecoming King and Queen were announced. Evan had his head on Connor’s shoulder. His boyfriend and Jared were arguing about if water was wet, mostly because it was stupid and gave them something to do. 

Finally, a girl came on stage to announce the nominees. Jared screamed like a banshee when Connor and Evan were called. The pair went up and onto the stage with the other contestants. Queens on one side and Kings on the other. Evan was the only guy on the Queen’s side. The announcer prattled on about one thing or another before being given an envelope. 

“And this year’s homecoming King and Queen are…” she opened it slowly, teasing the audience before screaming, “CONNOR MURPHY AND EVAN HANSEN!”

The crowd erupted and both boys stood shell shocked as they were handed crowns. Evan looked at Connor, who was just as bewildered and overwhelmed. The two climbed off the stage and were ushered to the middle of the dance floor. Evan realized he hated traditions, especially ones involving people watching you dance. A spotlight was placed on them as they swayed to the melody the school had chosen for them.  All the eyes were staring right into him. They were surrounding and suffocating him. Judging, harsh, his breathing became faster as -

“Evangreen,” Connor whispered into the blonde’s ear, “Just keep your eyes one me.”

Hazel eyes stared into blue, and Evan took in a deep breath. He smiled and relaxed as he swayed with Connor. The room around them seemed to quiet and the eyes began to soften until they were no longer there. Music flooded his mind and Connor was all he could see. They were the only two in the world, and everything was okay.

 

* * *

 

 

They had been there for three hours. The dance was winding down and people were starting to leave. Most girls had their heels in their hands and most guys had their suit jackets over their shoulder. 

Connor tossed Zoe a twenty. “Take an Uber home,” he said. 

Zoe scoffed, “Really, Connor, gonna abandon your sister to get some ass?”

Connor answered plainly, “Yes.”

Alana snorted, nearly shooting Sprite through her nose. 

Zoe nodded, “I give you points for honesty, go have fun.”

Jared laughed as he walked away. “Alana, you need a ride home?” he offered. 

She nodded, “Please, I don’t think my feet can take anymore walking.”

Connor grabbed Evan as the blonde exited the bathroom. 

“Where are we going?” The blonde asked. He followed his boyfriend out the school, “Wait, what about the others?!”

“They’re covered, but I’ve got a surprise for you,” Connor explained and pulled his boyfriend toward the car. The pair got in, a giddiness in the brunette’s voice as he said, “I planned our own little Homecoming.”

Evan was confused as they drove out of town and pulled into a hotel parking lot. “Connor?” he voice knowing, and a sly grin stretching across his face. The brunette waved a key card in.

“Come on, Evangreen.”

 

* * *

 

 

They barely made it into the room. Connor had Evan pressed against the door and the two fought their way out of their clothes. Their lips only parting to take in mouthfuls of air. The blonde wanted to just rip the button up his boyfriend wore but held back. They wrestled out of fabric and blindly searched for the bed.

They landed on the plush mattress with a ‘thud’. Connor guided the other excited teen up the bed, to the pillows. Evan caught him by the tie and claimed his lips, viciously biting and sucking. Connor moaned and got the infernal tie off him. Finally, after his boxers were thrown off the bed, he was naked. 

Evan shucked off his pants and underwear in one go before grabbing at Connor again. He bit the pale neck and pushed the other onto his back. “I’m going to ride you tonight,” he growled and grabbed a fistful of Connor’s hair, “got a problem with that?”

“No sir,” Connor answered, voice wavering with excitement. He moaned as Evan stroked his cock. “Lube,” he gasped and pointed to his discarded jacket. 

Evan nearly face planted while grabbing it off the floor, he got it though and found the travel size bottle. “Really Connor?” He snorted. 

“Come on, a man can dream, right?” He teased the grunted as Evan poured a generous supply on his cock.

“No need to dream, baby, I’m right here,” Evan whispered as he warm some lube between his fingers before pushing one inside himself. He nipped at Connor’s ear and moaned as he stretched himself. 

The brunette groaned, “That’s not fucking fair, Hansen.” He nipped at the hollow of Evan’s throat before sucking dark marks on any supple flesh he could reach. “What happened to my shy, good boy?” He asked, one of his hands grabbed the plush ass. Pale fingers squeezed the cheek and gave it a harsh slap. 

Evan doubled over and moaned. His legs shaking as he tried to work himself open faster. “I’m still a good boy,” he whine and let his forehead rest on Connor’s shoulder. Lips pressed into his hair. 

“Yeah, you are,” Connor slapped his ass against, “You’re also a little shit.” 

Evan giggled and sat up, pulling his fingers out of himself. Steady hands helped him get in position as he lowered himself onto the hard cock. Both teens groan at the insertion. Evan’s head lolled back. He gasped, feeling himself open up to the pulsing intruder. “Fuck yes,” he cried as he bottomed out. His fingers were still tightly laced with Connor’s. He used the leverage to lift himself before slamming back down. 

“Evan!” The brunette cried. His grip tightened as the blonde started an unrhythmic pace. He planted his feet on the bed and thrust up into the slick heat,  “Come on, come on.”

Evan gasped as Connor began to set the pace. They moved in tandem, meeting and parting in sync. “Connor!” the blonde panted out, “Fuck, that’s it, keep going!” It was amazing, the feeling of his boyfriend so deep inside of him. “Love you,” he moaned, “I love you so much, Connor!” 

The brunette growled and flipped them, pressing Evan’s back into the mattress. He drove into the tight heat. One of his hands untangled with his boyfriend’s so he could grip the back of the plush thigh. “Love you too,” he bit at Evan’s neck and sucked some new bruises on the already marred skin. “You drive me fucking crazy,” the brunette dug his nails into the soft skin. “Such a good fucking boy, letting me pound this gorgeous ass.” 

“Yes, love it when you fuck me,” Evan moaned. “Coming- Fuck! I'm going to-” he warning turned into a whine as his prostate was hit repeatedly. His ass tightening around the cock that was driving him insane. 

Connor doubled over at the feeling. He stilled for a moment, catching his breath, before vigorously restarting his pace. “You can come, Evan, good ahead.”  The teen urged, “My pretty boy. My beautiful, good boy. Go ahead, go ahead.”

Evan screamed and his back bowed. His toes gripping the sheets as he came. He felt Connor releasing inside him. Aftershocks rippled through him as he came down from his high. Connor collapsed on top of him, making Evan laugh. The pair caught their breath before shifting to lay side by side.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan sighed under the hot water as it washed away the sweat and… other bodily fluids. Connor’s fingers were running through his hair, rinsing out the decent hotel shampoo. They had a hard time keeping their hands to themselves on regular days. This night was special though, so staying apart was out of the question. 

“All clean,” Connor announced. He wrapped his arms around Evan’s waist and the two slowly swayed under the spray. “I think this dance is much better,” he whispered. 

“You just like it more because I’m naked,” Evan teased and lightly pinched Connor’s side. 

It took a while to work up the energy to get out of the shower. The two managed though and dried themselves off before collapsing onto the clean side of the ginormous bed. 

“When we get our own place, I demand a kind bed,” Connor slurred. 

“Ditto,” Evan agreed and snuggled closer to his boyfriend’s chest.

 

* * *

 

 

Luke found himself in quite a predicament. One he never thought he’d find himself in. Not only was a bitch coming back to bite him, but it had the police and its family too. 

He chopped out a neat white line. 

“Hey, man, maybe you’ve had enough,” Derek said. He was batted away. 

“Shut the fuck up, you useless piece of shit. Couldn’t even take a fucking girl,” he growled. They still had a couple bruises from the Murphys and whoever the fuck the other kid was. 

“Maybe if you weren’t a dick all the time, this wouldn’t be happening to you,” Ashton said before taking a swig of his beer. 

Luke narrowed his eyes, “I didn’t hear you complaining when you were balls deep in him.” 

The other blonde growled in disgust, “Don’t fucking throw that shit back in my face.” 

Luke chuckled, “If I go down for this, you all go too. Everyone at the party will.” 

Derek’s leg bounced, “You guys will go down for it. I don’t want any fucking part of that shit show.” 

“Well guess what, you’re an accomplice. Just because you only took the pictures, doesn’t mean you’re innocent,” Luke explained. He shot up and twitched, “Fuck!” 

Derek rubbed his face and stood up. “I’m going home,” he said and stalked out of the room. 

“Aw, you mad?!” Like called after him.

“Fuck off!” Derek screamed as he slammed the door behind him. Tears came to his eyes once he was inside his car. Why’d he have to take those fucking pictures? It had been funny when it started. Hell, it had been funny after! Now though…

He couldn’t laugh about it. 

Not when he saw the cold fury in that Hansen boy’s eyes. Not when he saw the anguish in Connor’s and the rage in Zoe’s. He couldn’t laugh about it anymore. 

It wasn’t funny. 

At the time, Luke had convinced them that Connor would be cool with it. That he’d wake up and wouldn’t care. Maybe it was naive of him to believe that. Scratch that, he knew it had been a lie. 

Derek sped down the street and beat his steering wheel in anger. He wouldn’t go down for this. He wouldn’t fucking let Like drag him into anything else. 

He pulled into the parking lot of the police station. 


End file.
